Help! Husband pushing me to find job!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
1529
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 4:02pm

First of all, why is it obvious that our income is higher? I don't get why you keep saying stuff like that. And who says I don't "need" to follow a budget? For all you know, I am a financial wreck and not keeping a budget doesn't have anything to do with how much money there is.

Did you see the part about how I grew up in a household earning a modest income? My dad was in the military and my mother SAH. I learned all the tricks of how to make a dollar go farther, from adding dry milk to the milk jug to washing sandwich baggies out after each use. My mother canned tomatoes from her mother's garden in Minnesota and hauled them back to California after every summer. I wasn't allowed a pair of brand name jeans until I was 12 years old and it was a special treat from my mother because I hounded her. From what I gather from your childhood, you probably couldn't relate. Just because we enjoy a higher standard of living now does not erase all those years of living on a modest income.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 4:04pm
What does my dh's recreational expenses have to do with $3000 clothing expense for a family making $30k?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 4:10pm
I agree. However, mercy cannot rob justice. The point in that parable was that Christ was trying to show that there was a new LAW. Him. His LAW. People could now gain forgiveness through Him. When He died, they could gain it through His Atonement. He came to fulfill the law, not do away with it. What laws stand now, like the 10 commandments were not done away with because they still apply. Stoning people for their transgressions does not apply because He fulfilled that particular law with mercy. The woman need only repent,ask forgiveness and sin no more. There was no longer the need for her to be stoned. However, that wasn't going to save anyone from the laws of the land. The stoning was the "spiritual" end of the law for those people. It was how one meted out their transgression with God. Everything was combined to them. Their laws of the land meshed with their spirituality at that time. Christ was trying to teach them that there was something to be said for those who would repent. After all, Christ's message never once contained anything about grace. He preached repentance. Repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand!

O

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 4:12pm
Your DH hasn't bought any clothes for work in 15 years (?)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 4:14pm

"From what I gather from your childhood, you probably couldn't relate."


Not correct.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 4:25pm

We do have one, not terribly convenient but we do have one.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 4:26pm
Can I just say that it is kind of silly for people who obviously make much more than $30,000/yr compare their clothing expenses with those of a family that does only make that much? Do you think that this family is going to be able to afford for their children to participate in as many sports as your children do? Do you think they are going to go skiing and need new ski pants each year? If you only make $30,000/year, you have to set priorities. If those priorities place saving at the top of the list, then spending $250/year on jeans or $500/year on running shoes is highly unlikely.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 4:32pm

If you do not know the answer to that then i hope you find it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 4:40pm

"I forgot I am not a Christian"

You stated this no one else did.

I do not view a mormon as a christian. I see them as mormons. Many of the things mormon's practice believe in and follow, go agianst my religious beliefs, and my personal relationship with GOd. I do however, respect their choice and the path they follow, even though it goes agianst my beliefs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 5:02pm

Uh, now?? There are dozens of students in my masters program who have gone straight on for an MAT because they can't find teaching jobs. They're hoping the baby boomers start retiring soon and make some openings.

And luck has nothing to do with being able to do that. Right.

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