Help! Husband pushing me to find job!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Help! Husband pushing me to find job!
1529
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 10:35am
My husband has just taken a leave of absense from his high paying 80 hour a week job to focus on being home more and finding out what he really wants to do. He is now working 3 days a week at a job he really likes. He always said if he took this job he would find another part time job to supplement the income. I am working weekends and babysitting during the week, but my income is a joke. Our kids are 5 and 3 and cry every weekend when I leave. My problem is this: my husband has put no effort in finding that 2nd job he said he would find and is pushing me to work full time. I want to be a stay at home mom, but it may mean him going back to a job he hates. He says the kids will adjust, get over it. Am I being selfish or lazy for wanting to stay home? Is he being selfish for leaving a good paying job?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 5:17pm

I said he hadn't bought any suits or sports jackets. He doesn't teach in a suit. He teaches in casual slacks, a dress shirt, and sometimes a sports jacket. He buys his sports jackets to last for decades, like you buy your shoes. He has enough so he doesn't have to go buying one every two or three years. He replaces them when they wear out or don't fit anymore.

He's in charge of his own clothing budget, so I am not always sure when he replaces something, but I would think he buys a new shirt or two every couple of years and socks and underwear as needed. Other than that, since he buys "for decades," no, he doesn't need a whole lot of new stuff.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 5:20pm
that is what i was thinking.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 5:23pm

My major/mniors are Chemistry/math/physics. Good luck with that, lol. I know a half dozen math majors who are unemployed right now and going on for MAT's waiting for a job opening.

They just upped the requirements in my state too but that doesn't help. When there are more teachers than the market can bear, there are simply more teachers than the market can bear. I'm thinking I'll go the private school route. My masters in chemical engineering is worth something to them where it's meaningless to the public school system. Which is sad. I have a friend with the same degree and because she has a masters, she can teach college level courses for the advanced high school kids. Unfortunately, schools usually only need one chemistry/physics teacher so positions are hard to find.

The only math majors I know finding jobs have actual math degrees not teaching degrees wiht a math major (which is what I will have because my masters is actually in engineering not one of the sciences) so my math doesn't do me much good. The increased requirements for math has people with actual masters degrees in math in high demand but it seems teaching degrees with a math major/minor are a dime a dozen.

Having seen what passes for a math major in the ed school, I understand why. The reason I don't have a math major is my math is too high. I had to go back and take things like non-euclidian geometry and modern algebra just for my minor. They don't want to count things like advanced engineering mathematics torwards a math major for an ed degree. Apparently, real world applications aren't a strong point in our high schools. I don't know why since that's the fun math.

I have so many hands on fun math/science activities to bring into the clasroom. But it's looking like I won't get the chance. If I can't convince the university to accept my teaching in a private school as my student teaching (so I'm not unemployed for a year finishing this degree), I'm done.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 5:28pm
Not often. We don't really go anywhere that requires it. Most of what I have suffices, even though it is several years old. I did buy a really nice skirt this year for the cruise, but I figure that (and what I already own) will cover my dress-up needs for several years. Dh doesn't own any suits, but he has one thing he can wear if he needs to dress up. Being that he does that less than once a year, it doesn't get worn out. Keep in mind, we do not attend church, I don't work, and dh's work attire is super casual. The kids don't have dress up clothes, if they ever were invited to something that required it, that's when I'd buy it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 5:29pm

"Female (especially) and male science and math teachers in junior high or High school should have their pick."

Actually no. While there are less of them, there are also fewer positions. How many chemistry teachers does one high school need? One? That results in fewer positions being available and it becomes a game of luck just hearing about an opening.

I WISH there were a shortage like people think. One option I have for student teaching is taking a permanent sub position but first I have to find a school that can't find a science teacher. They would then have to file for a provisional certificate on my behalf after they prove they can't find a science teacher. The university and I are having no luck finding such a school. With my background, I should be gobbled up fast but there aren't even any nibbles. I was a near atraight A engineering student and I am a straight A ed major and I aced the state tests except for the writing section which I scored the minimum to pass (WTF? I've never gotten less than an A on a paper but all I do is pass the writing section of the exam???). And the university can't find me a permanent sub position beause they can't find a school that can't find a science teacher.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 5:31pm
Yes but you can extrapolate from what is happening now what will happen in the future.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 5:32pm

Pheonix say's. <>

I say to pheonix...Sexuality is not a choice, imo, unless you choose to live as a heterosexual hiding in the closet. I do not agree with your choices wrt, religion it goes agianst God imo in many way's. I would not condem you for religious beliefs and choices.




Edited 2/14/2007 5:35 pm ET by xenozany
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 5:32pm
I only have one kid who does any sports right now. He's small, and he doesn't grow much. We bought him a $30 pair of baseball cleats that have a sizer in them. Looks like they will last 3 years. His baseball pants from last year still fit him, since the smallest one they make is huge on him. I don't doubt I'll be spending more in the future, but I don't spend much now. AND, we have had luck with secondhand. Most people with my level of income don't put their children in multiple sports.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 5:33pm
What is a MAT?


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 5:34pm
Honestly, what I really think it is, is that I am still in "We have no money" mode. I'm so used to living with a budget where I can't buy ANYTHING, unless I really really really have to, that now, I haven't recovered. Many people would spend money like no tomorrow. I'm having the opposite problem. And it's been almost 2 years now, that we've had plenty.

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