Help!! SAHM is off to work......maybe!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Help!! SAHM is off to work......maybe!
6
Sun, 07-27-2003 - 7:27pm
Hi friends,

I'm usually on the homeschool board, but recently a job that I would love to have was brought to my attention. I applied, went through two rounds of interviews, my references have been called and now I'm anxiously awaiting their decision. I have two boys ages 2.5 and 7. I have stayed home and even homeschooled. Meanwhile my dh has worked 2,3, even 4 jobs to make this possible. I am thinking I would like to take this position for a few years and pay off everything and then purchase the farm I have always wanted. Then I would be a SAHM mom again while my boys are in junior high and high school. I would pursue my masters and then doctorate during this time, so when they go to college I could teach at the college level. I would love to have my own work and income, but I would also like to be there for my boys. I need to get out of the house, but at what cost. Can you see where this is headed? Yes, no, yes, no. My dh just says "Are you sure this is what you want? If so, go for it. If not don't". I know he would love to give up his 'extra' jobs and focus on his teaching and I would love to be able to help him do that. Has anybody else done what I think I might be going to do? What advice can you give me? Thanks!

AC

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-27-2003 - 7:39pm
i have not done exactly what you are looking at, but have worked/not woh according to my kids ages and where we all were in life. it sounds like you have a definite plan and a supportive dh. as a mom of a 21yo, 20yo and 16yo, i would recommend following your plan as it will allow you to be back home with the kids when they are in jr high....GOOD MOVE! they need a parent around at that age right into high school more than when they are little. it is more of a mental/emotional time rather than physical. you can also watch comings and goings of teenagers easier from that angle. that is not to say wohp dont monitor their kids, because as a working parent of high schoolers, we monitored very closely, but it is nicer to be more available to the kids AND have the leeway to just show up invited or not....teehee. gotta watch those teenagers....they're a slippery lot.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 07-27-2003 - 7:41pm
You aren't really going to follow your kids to college???? Don't you think that's going a bit too far?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Sun, 07-27-2003 - 8:03pm
AC,

I think the key in your post is that you said it is a job you would love. I think that's a great reason to do it. I'm not exactly in your position, but I did give up homeschooling last year and am now out of the house myself.

It seems to me from what you have said that perhaps with this arrangement, your dh would have more time with the kids as well, which can only be a good thing. Good luck and don't be afraid to go for it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Mon, 07-28-2003 - 2:23am
Hi AC,

I actually did almost exactly what you are thinking about: I was SAH for 6 years and went back to work when ds was 6 and dd was 2.5. I also ended up with a job that I love and I am very glad I made the decision to go back. Ds was already in school so the transition wasn't hard for him and dd loved dc from day 1. What I did to help make the transition a little easier (though I know this isn't possible for many people) is that I started out very part-time and worked my way up to more or less full time (I am at work now 37 hours/week). Dh and I also arranged our schedules in such a way that he does all of the dropping off so that I can get to work by 7-7:30am and that means I pick up the kids a lot earlier (usually between 2:30 and 3:00pm). I work one full day a week so that the rest of the week are slightly shorter hours. For me this feels like a great balance because I have enough time to focus on the work and I still have most afternoons with the kids. I feel like it is a schedule I could maintain right through the junior highschool and highschool years (I tend to agree with almostfreeof3 about those years being the most critical :-)) because I'll be home more or less at the same time the kids get out of school. For me it was well worth doing!

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-28-2003 - 5:42am
Personally, I think you should go to work and take some of the pressure off of your dh. I think it's a good thing, especially if he's working so much he's not seeing his boys and I don't know how he could be if he's working 2,3 and 4 jobs. This has to be wearing him out don't you think?

I hope you get the job. :)

Sue

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-28-2003 - 11:20am
No, I am not following them to college. I want to have my degrees in place by the time they fly the nest, so that I can teach college. Not at the college they are attending, that would be like psycho mommy! I want to live in a much colder climate than the southeast, I can see me teaching at small college and living a very simple life. I love my boys and my life, but I definately know they gotta fly solo sooner or later! Sorry for the confusion ; )