Hitting the "Mommy Wall"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Hitting the "Mommy Wall"
1585
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 11:19am

I am surprised that this actually comes as a surprise to women trying to re-enter the workforce after taking time off to SAH. *Anyone* taking a not-so-brief hiatus from their career should expect the same treatment IMO . . . you're not going to be able to pick up right where you left off.

BTW - "hi" everyone! I've missed it here! :)

Women raise kids, lose careers

By TENISHA MERCER
THE DETROIT NEWS

Veronica Golubovic spent more than 20 years on the runways of Paris, Italy and New York as a designer for some of the most powerful names in fashion -- Yves Saint Laurent, Donna Karan and Perry Ellis.

But it was a three-year gap on her resume -- the hiatus she took after the births of her two children -- that garnered the most attention from prospective employers four years ago when Golubovic tried to resume her career.

She hasn't forgotten one recruiter's look of discomfort when she explained she was a stay-at-home mom. Or the way a top official at a retailer dismissed her during an interview with, "Oh, so now you don't know if you want to be a stay-at-home mommy."

"I came here thinking I've done so much, but it was very difficult," said Golubovic, 45, who eventually opened a designer clothing store in Birmingham, Mich., earlier this year. "I didn't think people would be hung up on it, but it was shocking and surprising. I couldn't believe their reactions."

Thirty years after women began joining the work force in large numbers, many are hitting the "mommy wall" when they try to return to work after having children.

They find it difficult -- if not impossible -- to return to the same positions they left, according to a recent study by the Forte Foundation in New York and the Wharton Center for Leadership and Change at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.

Unprepared for the obstacles they face on their return, many opt out of traditional corporate jobs and move to smaller companies. Experts dub the trend the "female brain drain" and say the exodus is coming just as businesses need talented, experienced workers to fill the gap as baby boomers prepare to retire en masse, leaving the biggest labor shortage in history in their wake.

"This is a defining issue for women," said Monica McGrath, an assistant professor at Wharton, who spearheaded the study. "Women who leave as vice presidents are not coming back as vice presidents. Now is not the time for corporations to squander billions of dollars in talent and enthusiasm at their fingertips. This is a talent pool that organizations need. We have a voice at the table, and I would hate to see us lose that."

The study found that half of working mothers who returned to work felt discouraged by their employer. Eighty-three percent ended up accepting a comparable or lower-level position, while 61 percent changed industries. About 45 percent of the women surveyed started their own businesses, and 59 percent went to work at smaller companies. The study is based on interviews with 200 women, most of them with MBA degrees.

The results add more fuel to the debate about whether and how women can blend careers and family. Even as women are graduating from law, business and medical schools at almost the same rates as men, they find their careers shifting in very different directions from their male colleagues once they have children.

"They want to spend time with their children, and it can be very time-consuming," said New York-based Cindy Swensen, who coaches executive women on how to return to work after having children. "Volunteering at the bake sale is probably not going to help you re-enter the work force."

It's a strange phenomenon for a generation of women who were raised to break down barriers while "having it all" -- even if that meant delaying or postponing plans to have children to focus on their careers.

"We hear very few stories of people just stepping back in where they left off," said Joanne Brundage, executive director of Mothers & More, a Chicago-area support group for working women who postpone their careers to have children.

"Clearly, there is a price to be paid for not staying full-time, full-force in most professions," Brundage said. "I think women who are becoming mothers now have a different set of priorities than women did 15 to 20 years ago. Unfortunately, the message may change, but the environment stays the same."

It's a message Cynthia Aks wasn't prepared for. The first female surgeon to graduate from the residency program at Oakland General Hospital in Madison Heights, Mich., in 1990, Aks battled her share of discrimination from colleagues who didn't care to work with women surgeons, she said.

But after Aks, an emergency room surgeon, decided to have a family in her late 30s, she found it tough to regain the solid career footing she had before her triplets were born nearly 13 years ago. Forced to take seven months off for pregnancy complications, her contract was not renewed, she said, because the hospital didn't know how to deal with a female surgeon with children.

Aks resumed her career as a specialty surgeon, but at a huge cost: Her salary plummeted 60 percent.

"The perception is that you cannot juggle multiple hats effectively," said Aks, 49, who now owns a medical practice in Southgate, Mich. "I believe it's challenging, but you can. You can have high aspirations, be successful, have a family and still be involved. It's not equal for women, and I don't think it ever will be."

Southfield, Mich.-based accounting firm Plante & Moran offers tailored work arrangements such as seasonal work, telecommuting and contract employment to retain working mothers. The firm offers the options to management only.

"We want to accommodate people and their schedules," said Bill Bufe, partner and human resources director at the accounting firm. "We've had people who wanted to leave, but we wouldn't let them. We made things much more flexible for them and allowed them to continue to keep their toe in the water here and do what they needed to do in their family."

CHANGING FOCUS WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

Tips for preparing to return to work:

Create a "re-entry" plan with specific goals

Foster a network for support while away from the work force

Volunteer while away and make sure that experience can be framed in business terms when you want to go back to work

Stay connected to colleagues

Maintain professional licenses and memberships and attend continuing education courses

Take classes to refresh knowledge and skills

Stay informed about the business implications of global and economic changes in your field

Secure contract work while away

Be realistic about how long it will take to re-enter the work force

Sources: Wharton Center for Leadership and Change, the Forte Foundation

CHANGING FOCUS

A survey of women returning to work after raising families found many shifted professional roles:

Accepted comparable or lower-level job: 83 percent

Changed industries: 61 percent

Changed functional role: 54 percent

Became self-employed: 45 percent

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 12:35am

There are always exceptions to any generality.

As for both teaching and nursing, I'd say those easily qualify as part of those professions where 'drastic shortages' change the equation for hiring decisions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 12:42am
You have heard the term sarcasm before, right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 3:17am

I think you hit the nail on the head. What I also appreciate about your point of view is that you recognise that people with employment gaps may well have star potential. I can completely understand why some employers aren't willing to take the risk and some employers are. There are a lot of elements that are involved in the decision to take this kind of risk. This means that a SAHM trying to return to work is very likely going to have more difficulties finding a job, will have to start lower on the ladder than where she was when she left and for less pay. However, companies that take the risk and pick well have a good chance of ending up with a star on their hands within a few months and for quite a bit less pay then they otherwise would have had to shell out.

What had been bothering me about this debate in the beginning was the blunt assertion that any gap in employment means that such a person would never be serious about their career, never put in the same kind effort with the same kind of results as an employee without a gap, and would likely bail at the first sign of trouble. Some might fit this description but many don't. A gap in the employment record is not an automatic indication of this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 7:54am
I think it's a "given" that mothers would prefer to spend the day with a sick child rather than go into the office. But I thought it was kind of common knowledge that is not always possible. Reality steps in, sick days are limited, bosses get a little possessive when an employee takes too many days to care for a child. I wonder if this is even debate-worthy?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 8:04am

I never said it wasn't always possible. And unless you have a kid who is sick often, I don't really think 1-3 days per year is often. I've already said that there are obvious exceptions, esp for those who know that their children are going to be sick often and they can't afford the time off. The majority of parents do not use a nanny and often MUST take the day off b/c they don't have othercare available when illness occurs. Or are they sending their kids to daycare sick b/c they can't or don't want to take the time off?

I agreed with PNJ that one reason of having a nanny is so that she doesn't have to take time off when her kids are sick. She also acknowledged that one of her children has a health issue (asthma) so it's possible that he gets sick more than the average kid. But it wouldn't be at the top of my personal list and certainly wouldn't be THE reason (though it might be if I had a child who was sick often).

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 8:36am
I'm so sorry to hear about the baby's roseola.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 8:39am
I appreciate your honesty.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 8:46am

The sleep deprivation issue is one where I can definitely relate.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 8:48am

And I appreciate yours. I think as women, sometimes we need to be reminded that not everyone experiences the same feelings and there is nothing wrong with that. I don't mean to suggest that you are less maternal than me.

Sorry to hear that Joey was up coughing all week. My Joey was coughing for about an hour this morning - right around 5 am. I was worried he was going to puke. Usually he coughs right b/f he's going to throw up and last night b/f bed, he told me his belly hurt and he promptly had diarrhea on the toilet (THANK GOD as he is just recently potty trained and had underwear on!) When I heard him coughing, I figured it would be followed by puking, so I ran in to make sure, but alas, it's just a cold. He has a runny nose today. I never did fall back asleep as he spent the next two hrs coughing b/f we all got up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 8:49am

"But a lot of my own self-worth is tied to my accomplishments at work. And my feeling of stability and strength is tied to an extent to the financial security we have been able to establish through 2 incomes."


You are not alone.

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