Hitting the "Mommy Wall"
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| Mon, 10-24-2005 - 11:19am |
I am surprised that this actually comes as a surprise to women trying to re-enter the workforce after taking time off to SAH. *Anyone* taking a not-so-brief hiatus from their career should expect the same treatment IMO . . . you're not going to be able to pick up right where you left off.
BTW - "hi" everyone! I've missed it here! :)
Women raise kids, lose careers
By TENISHA MERCER
THE DETROIT NEWS
Veronica Golubovic spent more than 20 years on the runways of Paris, Italy and New York as a designer for some of the most powerful names in fashion -- Yves Saint Laurent, Donna Karan and Perry Ellis.
But it was a three-year gap on her resume -- the hiatus she took after the births of her two children -- that garnered the most attention from prospective employers four years ago when Golubovic tried to resume her career.
She hasn't forgotten one recruiter's look of discomfort when she explained she was a stay-at-home mom. Or the way a top official at a retailer dismissed her during an interview with, "Oh, so now you don't know if you want to be a stay-at-home mommy."
"I came here thinking I've done so much, but it was very difficult," said Golubovic, 45, who eventually opened a designer clothing store in Birmingham, Mich., earlier this year. "I didn't think people would be hung up on it, but it was shocking and surprising. I couldn't believe their reactions."
Thirty years after women began joining the work force in large numbers, many are hitting the "mommy wall" when they try to return to work after having children.
They find it difficult -- if not impossible -- to return to the same positions they left, according to a recent study by the Forte Foundation in New York and the Wharton Center for Leadership and Change at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.
Unprepared for the obstacles they face on their return, many opt out of traditional corporate jobs and move to smaller companies. Experts dub the trend the "female brain drain" and say the exodus is coming just as businesses need talented, experienced workers to fill the gap as baby boomers prepare to retire en masse, leaving the biggest labor shortage in history in their wake.
"This is a defining issue for women," said Monica McGrath, an assistant professor at Wharton, who spearheaded the study. "Women who leave as vice presidents are not coming back as vice presidents. Now is not the time for corporations to squander billions of dollars in talent and enthusiasm at their fingertips. This is a talent pool that organizations need. We have a voice at the table, and I would hate to see us lose that."
The study found that half of working mothers who returned to work felt discouraged by their employer. Eighty-three percent ended up accepting a comparable or lower-level position, while 61 percent changed industries. About 45 percent of the women surveyed started their own businesses, and 59 percent went to work at smaller companies. The study is based on interviews with 200 women, most of them with MBA degrees.
The results add more fuel to the debate about whether and how women can blend careers and family. Even as women are graduating from law, business and medical schools at almost the same rates as men, they find their careers shifting in very different directions from their male colleagues once they have children.
"They want to spend time with their children, and it can be very time-consuming," said New York-based Cindy Swensen, who coaches executive women on how to return to work after having children. "Volunteering at the bake sale is probably not going to help you re-enter the work force."
It's a strange phenomenon for a generation of women who were raised to break down barriers while "having it all" -- even if that meant delaying or postponing plans to have children to focus on their careers.
"We hear very few stories of people just stepping back in where they left off," said Joanne Brundage, executive director of Mothers & More, a Chicago-area support group for working women who postpone their careers to have children.
"Clearly, there is a price to be paid for not staying full-time, full-force in most professions," Brundage said. "I think women who are becoming mothers now have a different set of priorities than women did 15 to 20 years ago. Unfortunately, the message may change, but the environment stays the same."
It's a message Cynthia Aks wasn't prepared for. The first female surgeon to graduate from the residency program at Oakland General Hospital in Madison Heights, Mich., in 1990, Aks battled her share of discrimination from colleagues who didn't care to work with women surgeons, she said.
But after Aks, an emergency room surgeon, decided to have a family in her late 30s, she found it tough to regain the solid career footing she had before her triplets were born nearly 13 years ago. Forced to take seven months off for pregnancy complications, her contract was not renewed, she said, because the hospital didn't know how to deal with a female surgeon with children.
Aks resumed her career as a specialty surgeon, but at a huge cost: Her salary plummeted 60 percent.
"The perception is that you cannot juggle multiple hats effectively," said Aks, 49, who now owns a medical practice in Southgate, Mich. "I believe it's challenging, but you can. You can have high aspirations, be successful, have a family and still be involved. It's not equal for women, and I don't think it ever will be."
Southfield, Mich.-based accounting firm Plante & Moran offers tailored work arrangements such as seasonal work, telecommuting and contract employment to retain working mothers. The firm offers the options to management only.
"We want to accommodate people and their schedules," said Bill Bufe, partner and human resources director at the accounting firm. "We've had people who wanted to leave, but we wouldn't let them. We made things much more flexible for them and allowed them to continue to keep their toe in the water here and do what they needed to do in their family."
CHANGING FOCUS WHAT WOMEN CAN DO
WHAT WOMEN CAN DO
Tips for preparing to return to work:
Create a "re-entry" plan with specific goals
Foster a network for support while away from the work force
Volunteer while away and make sure that experience can be framed in business terms when you want to go back to work
Stay connected to colleagues
Maintain professional licenses and memberships and attend continuing education courses
Take classes to refresh knowledge and skills
Stay informed about the business implications of global and economic changes in your field
Secure contract work while away
Be realistic about how long it will take to re-enter the work force
Sources: Wharton Center for Leadership and Change, the Forte Foundation
CHANGING FOCUS
A survey of women returning to work after raising families found many shifted professional roles:
Accepted comparable or lower-level job: 83 percent
Changed industries: 61 percent
Changed functional role: 54 percent
Became self-employed: 45 percent

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<> That's different than what you said originally - you've added in the word "financial" before independence. That too, I couldn't care less about and is not a believable reason for a person to NOT sah. If somebody's partner values him/her for what money she brings into the marriage, then the couple needs the second income to maintain a happy SOL (which is what I originally said is the real reason women woh) or the marriage has some serious problems.
In my case, I made certain I was financially independent. I got my law degree and was always going to be financially independent so that I would never even have to rely on anyone else or even have to marry. I think I married later than most people because marriage and children were an afterthought - being financially independent was my main goal. That was and still is an important goal for me even though I'm a sahm.
<>
I'm a sahm but feel the same way. On the "drop of a hat," if divorced or widowed, I'd start working as soon as possible and then have life insurance or child support and investments to tide me over until I could become a kick-ass lawyer again (I'd say it would probably take a few years before working my way back to what I would consider a decent salary to support myself and my kids on.)
Just because you woh, I don't buy that you need financial independence more than a sahm does. People have dual incomes because they prefer the lifestyle that two incomes allows. I just don't see anything wrong with that.
Anyone can be a 'star' - but managers are unlikely to treat a person as a star until the prove their worth. 'Star' as I am using it isn't just about having the innate ability, or the initiative. It's also having the opportunity, through the choice assignments or the up and coming projects (or the best shifts, or the good trips or drawing a new client or whatever the equivalent is in a field). I would assume that many returning to work people could be stars, but that they are less likely to draw the assignments (for their first assignment upon returning) that allow them to demonstrate. And I am proposing that this has more to do with a straight business question of risk versus return than on a manager's personal prejudice regarding moms who chose to SAH.
I don't know why you keep implying that my stance is based on dislike/prejudice/whatever of SAHs. I reread my posts and don't think I was making that point - however, if needed as clarification I will explicitly state that I am NOT suggesting that these decisions are or should be made due to a WOHM manager not selecting a SAHM candidate due to her decision to SAH. I *do* think that may happen due to having a gap, but not due to the reason (SAH) behind the gap.
All that said, are there people who are influenced by their own doubts or prejudices - sure - I'm not a Pollyanna. But I am not seeking to advocate or justify that behavior. So please don't lump me in some wohms who discriminate against sahm bin.
And my lipstick thing was meant to be an example on how I imagined that more recent experience may be a preferred thing in retail. Maybe not for some retail jobs, but I would suppose that in tonier department stores or whatever, makeup counter people are all about knowing and marketing the latest trends. A manager may prefer someone who has been working for Clinique and transfers to Lancome (or whatever a good example is - I have no idea of the company names) than a return to work person. Maybe there is absolutely NO difference between the 2 people (or the return to work person is a better sales person), but I am saying I can see how a manager may give greater weight to recent experience.
then it is fair to assume that your nanny does help (raise) your child pnj.....there is no other arena in parenting, including school personnel, outside dc center, occassional sat night sitter et. al. that could share such same sentiment (>>every confidence that the boys when ill get the TLC they need from our nanny<<).............in school, that child would be sent home; saturday night date wouldn't happen if child was sick etc.
and taken from another post, it appears that you have two well rounded boys so it really doesn't matter *how* maternal you are or aren't. but the capacity of which you judge a sahm as some fluff role, ambitions and certain professions over other professions is just proven here as far from accurate......i'm siding with tinderbox here. minority.
Edited 11/9/2005 1:01 pm ET by mom3texas
Every daycare that my children were in, not every daycare.
PumpkinAngel
No, I've never looked back. I may have a different answer if I divorce him or he divorces me. I don't know.
Do you look back with regrets? Have you second-guessed your parenting decisions?
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