Hitting the "Mommy Wall"
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| Mon, 10-24-2005 - 11:19am |
I am surprised that this actually comes as a surprise to women trying to re-enter the workforce after taking time off to SAH. *Anyone* taking a not-so-brief hiatus from their career should expect the same treatment IMO . . . you're not going to be able to pick up right where you left off.
BTW - "hi" everyone! I've missed it here! :)
Women raise kids, lose careers
By TENISHA MERCER
THE DETROIT NEWS
Veronica Golubovic spent more than 20 years on the runways of Paris, Italy and New York as a designer for some of the most powerful names in fashion -- Yves Saint Laurent, Donna Karan and Perry Ellis.
But it was a three-year gap on her resume -- the hiatus she took after the births of her two children -- that garnered the most attention from prospective employers four years ago when Golubovic tried to resume her career.
She hasn't forgotten one recruiter's look of discomfort when she explained she was a stay-at-home mom. Or the way a top official at a retailer dismissed her during an interview with, "Oh, so now you don't know if you want to be a stay-at-home mommy."
"I came here thinking I've done so much, but it was very difficult," said Golubovic, 45, who eventually opened a designer clothing store in Birmingham, Mich., earlier this year. "I didn't think people would be hung up on it, but it was shocking and surprising. I couldn't believe their reactions."
Thirty years after women began joining the work force in large numbers, many are hitting the "mommy wall" when they try to return to work after having children.
They find it difficult -- if not impossible -- to return to the same positions they left, according to a recent study by the Forte Foundation in New York and the Wharton Center for Leadership and Change at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.
Unprepared for the obstacles they face on their return, many opt out of traditional corporate jobs and move to smaller companies. Experts dub the trend the "female brain drain" and say the exodus is coming just as businesses need talented, experienced workers to fill the gap as baby boomers prepare to retire en masse, leaving the biggest labor shortage in history in their wake.
"This is a defining issue for women," said Monica McGrath, an assistant professor at Wharton, who spearheaded the study. "Women who leave as vice presidents are not coming back as vice presidents. Now is not the time for corporations to squander billions of dollars in talent and enthusiasm at their fingertips. This is a talent pool that organizations need. We have a voice at the table, and I would hate to see us lose that."
The study found that half of working mothers who returned to work felt discouraged by their employer. Eighty-three percent ended up accepting a comparable or lower-level position, while 61 percent changed industries. About 45 percent of the women surveyed started their own businesses, and 59 percent went to work at smaller companies. The study is based on interviews with 200 women, most of them with MBA degrees.
The results add more fuel to the debate about whether and how women can blend careers and family. Even as women are graduating from law, business and medical schools at almost the same rates as men, they find their careers shifting in very different directions from their male colleagues once they have children.
"They want to spend time with their children, and it can be very time-consuming," said New York-based Cindy Swensen, who coaches executive women on how to return to work after having children. "Volunteering at the bake sale is probably not going to help you re-enter the work force."
It's a strange phenomenon for a generation of women who were raised to break down barriers while "having it all" -- even if that meant delaying or postponing plans to have children to focus on their careers.
"We hear very few stories of people just stepping back in where they left off," said Joanne Brundage, executive director of Mothers & More, a Chicago-area support group for working women who postpone their careers to have children.
"Clearly, there is a price to be paid for not staying full-time, full-force in most professions," Brundage said. "I think women who are becoming mothers now have a different set of priorities than women did 15 to 20 years ago. Unfortunately, the message may change, but the environment stays the same."
It's a message Cynthia Aks wasn't prepared for. The first female surgeon to graduate from the residency program at Oakland General Hospital in Madison Heights, Mich., in 1990, Aks battled her share of discrimination from colleagues who didn't care to work with women surgeons, she said.
But after Aks, an emergency room surgeon, decided to have a family in her late 30s, she found it tough to regain the solid career footing she had before her triplets were born nearly 13 years ago. Forced to take seven months off for pregnancy complications, her contract was not renewed, she said, because the hospital didn't know how to deal with a female surgeon with children.
Aks resumed her career as a specialty surgeon, but at a huge cost: Her salary plummeted 60 percent.
"The perception is that you cannot juggle multiple hats effectively," said Aks, 49, who now owns a medical practice in Southgate, Mich. "I believe it's challenging, but you can. You can have high aspirations, be successful, have a family and still be involved. It's not equal for women, and I don't think it ever will be."
Southfield, Mich.-based accounting firm Plante & Moran offers tailored work arrangements such as seasonal work, telecommuting and contract employment to retain working mothers. The firm offers the options to management only.
"We want to accommodate people and their schedules," said Bill Bufe, partner and human resources director at the accounting firm. "We've had people who wanted to leave, but we wouldn't let them. We made things much more flexible for them and allowed them to continue to keep their toe in the water here and do what they needed to do in their family."
CHANGING FOCUS WHAT WOMEN CAN DO
WHAT WOMEN CAN DO
Tips for preparing to return to work:
Create a "re-entry" plan with specific goals
Foster a network for support while away from the work force
Volunteer while away and make sure that experience can be framed in business terms when you want to go back to work
Stay connected to colleagues
Maintain professional licenses and memberships and attend continuing education courses
Take classes to refresh knowledge and skills
Stay informed about the business implications of global and economic changes in your field
Secure contract work while away
Be realistic about how long it will take to re-enter the work force
Sources: Wharton Center for Leadership and Change, the Forte Foundation
CHANGING FOCUS
A survey of women returning to work after raising families found many shifted professional roles:
Accepted comparable or lower-level job: 83 percent
Changed industries: 61 percent
Changed functional role: 54 percent
Became self-employed: 45 percent

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How can you say that you don't have a beef with me? I've asked you what your problem is with my initial statement, that in my dh's field, a gap in employment is not necessarily considered a negative. You haven't debated that point at all. You've debated whether I know what my dh really does, you've debated whether I can appreciate working hard to support a family since I don't, you've debated whether I am a militant SAHM, you've debated whether I should possess any knowledge about careers in sales/consulting, and so forth. You've brought in all sorts of former debates about stuff that has nothing to do with this topic--why? Would it be helpful if I gave you a transcript from my ninth grade debate on women in the military, or the position paper I wrote on Brideshead Revisited and the Catholic Church from college?
I said that in my dh's field, if you are good at what you do, going away for a while isn't necessarily harmful. I mentioned Michael Jordan to show that no one is going to completely dismiss his skills as a basketball player because he took a year off to play baseball. I never once said that my dh was the MJ of his field. But since saying that makes me look like a pompous idiot, you've been crediting that to me ever since. (Someone who doesn't have a beef with me would have read my comment to PJM and stopped pretending that I directly compared my dh to MJ.) If you have shown that you are capable of closing a $5 million deal (or insert other major accomplishment here) with several different players involved, a gap in employment doesn't negate that accomplishment.
I've spoken about this topic with my dh, I've spoken with his colleagues about this topic, I read some of his trade publications and his business magazines, I attend dinners (and weddings and swimming parties) with people in business consulting and sales and I have an intelligent mind. Why would I be making this stuff up? Why would I speak about something that I don't understand? One of my friends is a former consultant who has been away from her position for two years and her former employer still calls her to ask her to come back to her job. Apparently that two year gap hasn't dampened their desire to have her run her division again. The company my dh works for allows a five year leave of absence with a guarantee of same salary, same position when you come back. That speaks to their attitude about gaps in employment quite clearly.
I have never contended that I know everything about my dh's field. I'm not claiming to be revealing the deep dark secrets of sales and consulting. I don't claim to know EVERYTHING about what the experience is like. But I do know enough to make the comments I've made.
>>>>>I don't base my decision on what their resume looks like. A resume is just a calling card and is designed for curb appeal. I base my decision on the interview, however, you don't get the interview if you can't present a decent resume. It's like buying a house. If there are holes in the roof, you're not likely to look inside. Maybe the roof is worth fixing for what is inside but a house that lacks curb appeal is a hard sell.>>>>>
Unfortunate that you feel dedicating a year (or 5) to the well-being of one's children through direct daily interaction would be found as "unappealing". I hope you don't actually convey that attitude IRL. You're not likely to have many friends.
I have plenty of friends.
The vast majority of working parents manage to see to the well being of their children without giving up their careers to do it. Dedicating yourself only to your children isn't necessary. Nor does it give better results. That this is what you want to do is your choice but it tells me that you are not dedicated to your career. I'm not interested in people who quit to persue other options when the mood strikes them. I want people who stick with what they start.
I have never interviewed anyone with significant gaps in their resume. Yes, my employer is fine with this bias. We're not interesting people who walk away from things they've started. Followthrough is imporatant.
While I knoe plenty of women who have quit my employer to become stay at home moms, I don't know a single one who is working for the company who used to be a stay at home mom. The company will, however, work with you in attaining balance in your personal and professional lives. If you choose not to take that, they hire someone else.
>>>I want people who stick with what they start. <<<<
Guess you'd probably end up wanting people like me then. I started a family....chose to stick with it.
Edited 10/29/2005 3:02 pm ET by mom3texas
Hugs,
Bridget & Ethan (5)
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