Hitting the "Mommy Wall"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Hitting the "Mommy Wall"
1585
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 11:19am

I am surprised that this actually comes as a surprise to women trying to re-enter the workforce after taking time off to SAH. *Anyone* taking a not-so-brief hiatus from their career should expect the same treatment IMO . . . you're not going to be able to pick up right where you left off.

BTW - "hi" everyone! I've missed it here! :)

Women raise kids, lose careers

By TENISHA MERCER
THE DETROIT NEWS

Veronica Golubovic spent more than 20 years on the runways of Paris, Italy and New York as a designer for some of the most powerful names in fashion -- Yves Saint Laurent, Donna Karan and Perry Ellis.

But it was a three-year gap on her resume -- the hiatus she took after the births of her two children -- that garnered the most attention from prospective employers four years ago when Golubovic tried to resume her career.

She hasn't forgotten one recruiter's look of discomfort when she explained she was a stay-at-home mom. Or the way a top official at a retailer dismissed her during an interview with, "Oh, so now you don't know if you want to be a stay-at-home mommy."

"I came here thinking I've done so much, but it was very difficult," said Golubovic, 45, who eventually opened a designer clothing store in Birmingham, Mich., earlier this year. "I didn't think people would be hung up on it, but it was shocking and surprising. I couldn't believe their reactions."

Thirty years after women began joining the work force in large numbers, many are hitting the "mommy wall" when they try to return to work after having children.

They find it difficult -- if not impossible -- to return to the same positions they left, according to a recent study by the Forte Foundation in New York and the Wharton Center for Leadership and Change at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.

Unprepared for the obstacles they face on their return, many opt out of traditional corporate jobs and move to smaller companies. Experts dub the trend the "female brain drain" and say the exodus is coming just as businesses need talented, experienced workers to fill the gap as baby boomers prepare to retire en masse, leaving the biggest labor shortage in history in their wake.

"This is a defining issue for women," said Monica McGrath, an assistant professor at Wharton, who spearheaded the study. "Women who leave as vice presidents are not coming back as vice presidents. Now is not the time for corporations to squander billions of dollars in talent and enthusiasm at their fingertips. This is a talent pool that organizations need. We have a voice at the table, and I would hate to see us lose that."

The study found that half of working mothers who returned to work felt discouraged by their employer. Eighty-three percent ended up accepting a comparable or lower-level position, while 61 percent changed industries. About 45 percent of the women surveyed started their own businesses, and 59 percent went to work at smaller companies. The study is based on interviews with 200 women, most of them with MBA degrees.

The results add more fuel to the debate about whether and how women can blend careers and family. Even as women are graduating from law, business and medical schools at almost the same rates as men, they find their careers shifting in very different directions from their male colleagues once they have children.

"They want to spend time with their children, and it can be very time-consuming," said New York-based Cindy Swensen, who coaches executive women on how to return to work after having children. "Volunteering at the bake sale is probably not going to help you re-enter the work force."

It's a strange phenomenon for a generation of women who were raised to break down barriers while "having it all" -- even if that meant delaying or postponing plans to have children to focus on their careers.

"We hear very few stories of people just stepping back in where they left off," said Joanne Brundage, executive director of Mothers & More, a Chicago-area support group for working women who postpone their careers to have children.

"Clearly, there is a price to be paid for not staying full-time, full-force in most professions," Brundage said. "I think women who are becoming mothers now have a different set of priorities than women did 15 to 20 years ago. Unfortunately, the message may change, but the environment stays the same."

It's a message Cynthia Aks wasn't prepared for. The first female surgeon to graduate from the residency program at Oakland General Hospital in Madison Heights, Mich., in 1990, Aks battled her share of discrimination from colleagues who didn't care to work with women surgeons, she said.

But after Aks, an emergency room surgeon, decided to have a family in her late 30s, she found it tough to regain the solid career footing she had before her triplets were born nearly 13 years ago. Forced to take seven months off for pregnancy complications, her contract was not renewed, she said, because the hospital didn't know how to deal with a female surgeon with children.

Aks resumed her career as a specialty surgeon, but at a huge cost: Her salary plummeted 60 percent.

"The perception is that you cannot juggle multiple hats effectively," said Aks, 49, who now owns a medical practice in Southgate, Mich. "I believe it's challenging, but you can. You can have high aspirations, be successful, have a family and still be involved. It's not equal for women, and I don't think it ever will be."

Southfield, Mich.-based accounting firm Plante & Moran offers tailored work arrangements such as seasonal work, telecommuting and contract employment to retain working mothers. The firm offers the options to management only.

"We want to accommodate people and their schedules," said Bill Bufe, partner and human resources director at the accounting firm. "We've had people who wanted to leave, but we wouldn't let them. We made things much more flexible for them and allowed them to continue to keep their toe in the water here and do what they needed to do in their family."

CHANGING FOCUS WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

Tips for preparing to return to work:

Create a "re-entry" plan with specific goals

Foster a network for support while away from the work force

Volunteer while away and make sure that experience can be framed in business terms when you want to go back to work

Stay connected to colleagues

Maintain professional licenses and memberships and attend continuing education courses

Take classes to refresh knowledge and skills

Stay informed about the business implications of global and economic changes in your field

Secure contract work while away

Be realistic about how long it will take to re-enter the work force

Sources: Wharton Center for Leadership and Change, the Forte Foundation

CHANGING FOCUS

A survey of women returning to work after raising families found many shifted professional roles:

Accepted comparable or lower-level job: 83 percent

Changed industries: 61 percent

Changed functional role: 54 percent

Became self-employed: 45 percent

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 2:43pm

"That's right. We're talking about someone who CHOSE to walk away from their career."

And...? Your point would be...?

Are you suggesting that someone shouldn't have the right to CHOSE to walk away from their career if they so choose? Sounds like communism to me :)

"That speaks volumes."

Such as...?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 2:43pm

"Guess you'd probably end up wanting people like me then. I started a family....chose to stick with it."

Yep. Me too!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 2:46pm

<> Me too! Plus, I help support them financially. You know, those luxuries like medical insurance and paying the mortgage and buying groceries."

Well, I wouldn't consider "medical insurance and paying the mortgage and buying groceries" as luxuries, but whatever floats your boat LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2005
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 2:55pm

I'm curious. Why do you assume that things will get tough again? If women take time off to be with their babies, why do you assume they will need to quit again when they have elementary schoolers? Wouldn't you rather have people who recognized that their time was too divided by work and home and chose to stop working until the problem was resolved than people who muddled through, doing substandard work in order to keep a paycheck and prevent resume gaps? I think you're right that women who leave should expect to face consequences when they return to work, but I question your assumption that women who return are more likely to leave again. Most of the SAHMs I know left work for babies--once they're done with babies, why do you assume they would leave again?

kdr

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 2:55pm
I think that you have made your point that not everyone wants to be in the work force. The discussion about gaps in the employment record is about people who do want to return and how they will explain those gaps when they do. Of course not everyone wants to return to the work force. But we weren't talking about them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 3:00pm

<> "

What if you divorce or your DH dies?"

Life insurance, alimony, child support, SS, in addition to finding alternative means of making an income that don't include returning to the workforce. For instance, I plan to self publish a book I'm writing in the next year or so, and of course I could always be a "starving" artist or musician both of which are very appealing to me. In other words, if I were forced/no longer had a choice I would find a way to support myself and my child. But all in all, it isn't likely.

> "

"I wasn't aware that that mindset was the "only" reasonalbe and/or rational possibility or option in life."

Have you read any of kbmamm's posts?

"Could you please site a reference where you've gotten that from?"

Nope, it was my own quote.

<>

"Who has said that it is?"

Umm, that would be kbmamm.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 3:02pm

"I disagree that placing a six-week, or 12-week baby in daycare 10 hours per day is a good move, for mom, dad and baby. But I agree with you on one thing, be both would not be entering an agreement for work. I would not work for a company that is too shortsighted to see that raising kids, after a stellar career, was not for the sole purpose of remaining dedicated to my commitments."

ITA on both points!!!

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 3:03pm
Neither would I. Ever hear of sarcasm?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 3:05pm

"Oh, I know they exist, but I think it is a very small percentage."

I would agree with that.

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 3:05pm
Just like me, too. I guess unless one has given their child(ren) up for adoption, they've all "stuck with it."

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