Hitting the "Mommy Wall"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Hitting the "Mommy Wall"
1585
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 11:19am

I am surprised that this actually comes as a surprise to women trying to re-enter the workforce after taking time off to SAH. *Anyone* taking a not-so-brief hiatus from their career should expect the same treatment IMO . . . you're not going to be able to pick up right where you left off.

BTW - "hi" everyone! I've missed it here! :)

Women raise kids, lose careers

By TENISHA MERCER
THE DETROIT NEWS

Veronica Golubovic spent more than 20 years on the runways of Paris, Italy and New York as a designer for some of the most powerful names in fashion -- Yves Saint Laurent, Donna Karan and Perry Ellis.

But it was a three-year gap on her resume -- the hiatus she took after the births of her two children -- that garnered the most attention from prospective employers four years ago when Golubovic tried to resume her career.

She hasn't forgotten one recruiter's look of discomfort when she explained she was a stay-at-home mom. Or the way a top official at a retailer dismissed her during an interview with, "Oh, so now you don't know if you want to be a stay-at-home mommy."

"I came here thinking I've done so much, but it was very difficult," said Golubovic, 45, who eventually opened a designer clothing store in Birmingham, Mich., earlier this year. "I didn't think people would be hung up on it, but it was shocking and surprising. I couldn't believe their reactions."

Thirty years after women began joining the work force in large numbers, many are hitting the "mommy wall" when they try to return to work after having children.

They find it difficult -- if not impossible -- to return to the same positions they left, according to a recent study by the Forte Foundation in New York and the Wharton Center for Leadership and Change at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.

Unprepared for the obstacles they face on their return, many opt out of traditional corporate jobs and move to smaller companies. Experts dub the trend the "female brain drain" and say the exodus is coming just as businesses need talented, experienced workers to fill the gap as baby boomers prepare to retire en masse, leaving the biggest labor shortage in history in their wake.

"This is a defining issue for women," said Monica McGrath, an assistant professor at Wharton, who spearheaded the study. "Women who leave as vice presidents are not coming back as vice presidents. Now is not the time for corporations to squander billions of dollars in talent and enthusiasm at their fingertips. This is a talent pool that organizations need. We have a voice at the table, and I would hate to see us lose that."

The study found that half of working mothers who returned to work felt discouraged by their employer. Eighty-three percent ended up accepting a comparable or lower-level position, while 61 percent changed industries. About 45 percent of the women surveyed started their own businesses, and 59 percent went to work at smaller companies. The study is based on interviews with 200 women, most of them with MBA degrees.

The results add more fuel to the debate about whether and how women can blend careers and family. Even as women are graduating from law, business and medical schools at almost the same rates as men, they find their careers shifting in very different directions from their male colleagues once they have children.

"They want to spend time with their children, and it can be very time-consuming," said New York-based Cindy Swensen, who coaches executive women on how to return to work after having children. "Volunteering at the bake sale is probably not going to help you re-enter the work force."

It's a strange phenomenon for a generation of women who were raised to break down barriers while "having it all" -- even if that meant delaying or postponing plans to have children to focus on their careers.

"We hear very few stories of people just stepping back in where they left off," said Joanne Brundage, executive director of Mothers & More, a Chicago-area support group for working women who postpone their careers to have children.

"Clearly, there is a price to be paid for not staying full-time, full-force in most professions," Brundage said. "I think women who are becoming mothers now have a different set of priorities than women did 15 to 20 years ago. Unfortunately, the message may change, but the environment stays the same."

It's a message Cynthia Aks wasn't prepared for. The first female surgeon to graduate from the residency program at Oakland General Hospital in Madison Heights, Mich., in 1990, Aks battled her share of discrimination from colleagues who didn't care to work with women surgeons, she said.

But after Aks, an emergency room surgeon, decided to have a family in her late 30s, she found it tough to regain the solid career footing she had before her triplets were born nearly 13 years ago. Forced to take seven months off for pregnancy complications, her contract was not renewed, she said, because the hospital didn't know how to deal with a female surgeon with children.

Aks resumed her career as a specialty surgeon, but at a huge cost: Her salary plummeted 60 percent.

"The perception is that you cannot juggle multiple hats effectively," said Aks, 49, who now owns a medical practice in Southgate, Mich. "I believe it's challenging, but you can. You can have high aspirations, be successful, have a family and still be involved. It's not equal for women, and I don't think it ever will be."

Southfield, Mich.-based accounting firm Plante & Moran offers tailored work arrangements such as seasonal work, telecommuting and contract employment to retain working mothers. The firm offers the options to management only.

"We want to accommodate people and their schedules," said Bill Bufe, partner and human resources director at the accounting firm. "We've had people who wanted to leave, but we wouldn't let them. We made things much more flexible for them and allowed them to continue to keep their toe in the water here and do what they needed to do in their family."

CHANGING FOCUS WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

Tips for preparing to return to work:

Create a "re-entry" plan with specific goals

Foster a network for support while away from the work force

Volunteer while away and make sure that experience can be framed in business terms when you want to go back to work

Stay connected to colleagues

Maintain professional licenses and memberships and attend continuing education courses

Take classes to refresh knowledge and skills

Stay informed about the business implications of global and economic changes in your field

Secure contract work while away

Be realistic about how long it will take to re-enter the work force

Sources: Wharton Center for Leadership and Change, the Forte Foundation

CHANGING FOCUS

A survey of women returning to work after raising families found many shifted professional roles:

Accepted comparable or lower-level job: 83 percent

Changed industries: 61 percent

Changed functional role: 54 percent

Became self-employed: 45 percent

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 5:35pm

"Do you plan on charging money for your book?"

Not especially. I guess it would depend on the demand, if any LOL! In other words, I'm not writing it with the expectation of compensation. I'm writing it because I love to write. If I receive compenastion great, but if not that's great too.

"Will you then pay tax on that income?"

Depends on whether I made enough to be charged taxes. What's the limit these days?

"I'm curious, you wouldn't consider yourself to be a part of the workforce."

No, as an aspiring writer, I do not consider myself to be part of the workforce. I haven't published nor sold any of my work as of yet, again not that I even expect compensation in the first place.

"do you also plan to carry that to your tax return?"

Could you please elaborate? I'm not following you here. Are you suggesting that I am part of the workforce and should pay taxes on my work eventhough I have received no compensation? HOw so? BTW, if you're talking about the future. I'll have to see what happens when that time comes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 5:44pm
<<>> You've been hanging out with your sister too long!! LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 5:47pm

"The government might consider differently, especially if you're making money off your "work."

Who said I was making any money :)

"And I didn't know you could publish a book yourself."

Yes, it's possible to self publish a book.

"That's your opinion. I work at home presently writing my book, but I wouldn't consider myself to be part of the "workforce".>> No. See above. That's the government's call."

Ok, well seeing as I'm not currently and potentially might never make any money off my work, I think the government would agree with me.

"Your comments were still too broad."

And you're certainly welcome to your opinion.

""I don't want the potential employer to regard a SAHM as having the same employability as I do, because I've given up being at home with my children and want to make sure that's perceived as a definite advantage for me." >> I agree with PNJ.

Again, you're certainly welcome to your opinion.

"Well, *SHE* certainly seems to think that she does :)>> *She* does not speak for me or the multitude of WOHMs on this board or IRL.

LOL, you've got that right!

"What response would that be? >> That would be the one to which I was responding. Try to keep up."

I'm not following you here.

"The rest of your post doesn't make sense. Again."

Not following you here either :)

"BTW, what kind of book are you writing??? I'm assuming it's a fictional piece.

Yes, a children's book/series.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 5:54pm
You would have no legal right to ask the employment status of the spouse.
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 6:04pm
A children's book/series? That you don't plan to sell. 'kay. Heaven forbid you make money off it and have to admit that you actually work. You know, it's not a dirty word.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 6:05pm
Who said I'd ask? First, it would be obvious on any resume...and I'd ask why all the short stints. They'd tell me...and that would be that.
If challenged re the legality....I'd be safe. The reason would be lack of consistent employment track record.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 6:12pm
No it would not be obvious from looking at any resume. Many military members can spend long stints at assignments. If someone has been in the same place for 10+ years how would you be able to tell they were a military spouse?
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 6:15pm
Maybe. I just thought her comments were a tad condescending. Ya think?! As someone who has WOH for 24+ years and have kids who are approaching teenage-hood (or is it teenage-dom?), you'd think I would have figured it out by now that the school year hours vary from week to week.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 6:22pm

<<>> well, ok, here it is. you said you dont plan on making money from your book in a post to lauren. actually, you will, but your work is not work.<<>>, there, right there you say alimony and child support. if you're divorced collecting ss would be a trick. and "making an income that doesnt include returning to the workforce" is an oxymoron. if you work, you are in the "work"force. one does not have to go out and work 8-5 in some office to be part of the workforce.

<<>> Why??? no biggy. Lots of people do it.

<<>> Oh, dont be. Im not.

<<> Not really.

<<>> But making money on a self published book, IS participating in the workforce. there are many sizes and shapes of work that contribute to the workforce.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 6:24pm
But I wasnt even talking about them when I asked about military spouses. Reservests and gaurdsmen by law can not lose their civi jobs. Vrs a military wife (as to the whole gap in employment discussion since a person being activated in the military does not have a gap in employment) who moves so much and is able to not have a normal job history.
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Pages