Hitting the "Mommy Wall"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Hitting the "Mommy Wall"
1585
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 11:19am

I am surprised that this actually comes as a surprise to women trying to re-enter the workforce after taking time off to SAH. *Anyone* taking a not-so-brief hiatus from their career should expect the same treatment IMO . . . you're not going to be able to pick up right where you left off.

BTW - "hi" everyone! I've missed it here! :)

Women raise kids, lose careers

By TENISHA MERCER
THE DETROIT NEWS

Veronica Golubovic spent more than 20 years on the runways of Paris, Italy and New York as a designer for some of the most powerful names in fashion -- Yves Saint Laurent, Donna Karan and Perry Ellis.

But it was a three-year gap on her resume -- the hiatus she took after the births of her two children -- that garnered the most attention from prospective employers four years ago when Golubovic tried to resume her career.

She hasn't forgotten one recruiter's look of discomfort when she explained she was a stay-at-home mom. Or the way a top official at a retailer dismissed her during an interview with, "Oh, so now you don't know if you want to be a stay-at-home mommy."

"I came here thinking I've done so much, but it was very difficult," said Golubovic, 45, who eventually opened a designer clothing store in Birmingham, Mich., earlier this year. "I didn't think people would be hung up on it, but it was shocking and surprising. I couldn't believe their reactions."

Thirty years after women began joining the work force in large numbers, many are hitting the "mommy wall" when they try to return to work after having children.

They find it difficult -- if not impossible -- to return to the same positions they left, according to a recent study by the Forte Foundation in New York and the Wharton Center for Leadership and Change at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.

Unprepared for the obstacles they face on their return, many opt out of traditional corporate jobs and move to smaller companies. Experts dub the trend the "female brain drain" and say the exodus is coming just as businesses need talented, experienced workers to fill the gap as baby boomers prepare to retire en masse, leaving the biggest labor shortage in history in their wake.

"This is a defining issue for women," said Monica McGrath, an assistant professor at Wharton, who spearheaded the study. "Women who leave as vice presidents are not coming back as vice presidents. Now is not the time for corporations to squander billions of dollars in talent and enthusiasm at their fingertips. This is a talent pool that organizations need. We have a voice at the table, and I would hate to see us lose that."

The study found that half of working mothers who returned to work felt discouraged by their employer. Eighty-three percent ended up accepting a comparable or lower-level position, while 61 percent changed industries. About 45 percent of the women surveyed started their own businesses, and 59 percent went to work at smaller companies. The study is based on interviews with 200 women, most of them with MBA degrees.

The results add more fuel to the debate about whether and how women can blend careers and family. Even as women are graduating from law, business and medical schools at almost the same rates as men, they find their careers shifting in very different directions from their male colleagues once they have children.

"They want to spend time with their children, and it can be very time-consuming," said New York-based Cindy Swensen, who coaches executive women on how to return to work after having children. "Volunteering at the bake sale is probably not going to help you re-enter the work force."

It's a strange phenomenon for a generation of women who were raised to break down barriers while "having it all" -- even if that meant delaying or postponing plans to have children to focus on their careers.

"We hear very few stories of people just stepping back in where they left off," said Joanne Brundage, executive director of Mothers & More, a Chicago-area support group for working women who postpone their careers to have children.

"Clearly, there is a price to be paid for not staying full-time, full-force in most professions," Brundage said. "I think women who are becoming mothers now have a different set of priorities than women did 15 to 20 years ago. Unfortunately, the message may change, but the environment stays the same."

It's a message Cynthia Aks wasn't prepared for. The first female surgeon to graduate from the residency program at Oakland General Hospital in Madison Heights, Mich., in 1990, Aks battled her share of discrimination from colleagues who didn't care to work with women surgeons, she said.

But after Aks, an emergency room surgeon, decided to have a family in her late 30s, she found it tough to regain the solid career footing she had before her triplets were born nearly 13 years ago. Forced to take seven months off for pregnancy complications, her contract was not renewed, she said, because the hospital didn't know how to deal with a female surgeon with children.

Aks resumed her career as a specialty surgeon, but at a huge cost: Her salary plummeted 60 percent.

"The perception is that you cannot juggle multiple hats effectively," said Aks, 49, who now owns a medical practice in Southgate, Mich. "I believe it's challenging, but you can. You can have high aspirations, be successful, have a family and still be involved. It's not equal for women, and I don't think it ever will be."

Southfield, Mich.-based accounting firm Plante & Moran offers tailored work arrangements such as seasonal work, telecommuting and contract employment to retain working mothers. The firm offers the options to management only.

"We want to accommodate people and their schedules," said Bill Bufe, partner and human resources director at the accounting firm. "We've had people who wanted to leave, but we wouldn't let them. We made things much more flexible for them and allowed them to continue to keep their toe in the water here and do what they needed to do in their family."

CHANGING FOCUS WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

Tips for preparing to return to work:

Create a "re-entry" plan with specific goals

Foster a network for support while away from the work force

Volunteer while away and make sure that experience can be framed in business terms when you want to go back to work

Stay connected to colleagues

Maintain professional licenses and memberships and attend continuing education courses

Take classes to refresh knowledge and skills

Stay informed about the business implications of global and economic changes in your field

Secure contract work while away

Be realistic about how long it will take to re-enter the work force

Sources: Wharton Center for Leadership and Change, the Forte Foundation

CHANGING FOCUS

A survey of women returning to work after raising families found many shifted professional roles:

Accepted comparable or lower-level job: 83 percent

Changed industries: 61 percent

Changed functional role: 54 percent

Became self-employed: 45 percent

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 9:31am

".....and who supports those people?"

Which people?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 9:35am
Uhhhh, yes. Go back and look. I didn't see anyone else saying, "Of course money isn't the only way to provide children with shelter and food." I wouldn't have had any cause for debate then.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 9:43am

The ones that I was talking about when you stated "Absolutely!"


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 9:53am
You didn't ask, but I know several attorneys in private practice who work part time and/or out of their homes. The first is kind of an interesting guy. He is actually a mechanic her in town. He was a mechanic all his life who got tired of dwaling with people who had been screwed by dishonest mechanics. So he went back to school and to law school. Actually took a couple of classes from my husband. Now he owns a car repair garage and part time law practice. His law practice is pretty much limited to writing letters on behalf of people who have been taken advantage of by dishonest mechanics analyzing what went wrong and threatening to sue unless the garage/mechanic refunds the customers money. Then he fixes the car right. He works around twenty to thirty hours a week because that's all he wants to work. The second is a PTWAHD who pretty much quit his law practice to stay home with his two boys except he keeps one client who keeps him busy from 8 to 15 hrs a week. Only now his boys are getting to be school age so he has another part time job as the director of the contemporary choir at my church. We pay him for ten hours a week. And the third is a woman who worked for the city in the city attorney's office until her second or third child was born, I forget which. Now she has some sort of consulting business where she works with developers and goes over their proposals to make sure they will meet the city codes and to advise about potential problems with their proposals. She says she works the equivalent of a full time job some weeks though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 10:03am

"Not especially? Is that a yes or no?"

Yes and no. Again, "I guess it would depend on the demand, if any LOL! In other words, I'm not writing it with the expectation of compensation. I'm writing it because I love to write. If I receive compensation great, but if not that's great too."

"So if you don't plan especially on charging for your book....how are you going to publish it without funds or a contract of some sort with a publisher?"

Self publishing/personal funding.

"Basically $600/year"

Yes, this was my understanding as well.

"You really should consult an attorney or tax advisor, taxes are not as simple as not especially."

Thanks, my mom is a tax advisor and I do some paid work for her during tax season (under $600/year of course), so I am somewhat familar with this sort of thing, but you already knew that as we have already discussed this particular topic in a previous thread.

So I suppose according to your logic regarding work and being a member of the workforce, anyone who earns $1 per year is really a WOHM/WAHM as well as part of the workforce then? I tend to disagree. What if I have a yard sale once a month and make money? What if I watch a neighbor's child once a week and make money? What if I sell a painting and make money? What if I sell a single of my latest song and make money? Am I then a WOHM? Am I then also part of the workforce?

"Hmmm. So writing is not work or a job for you then?"

Work, yes. A job, no.

"You don't set aside blocks of time to write,"

Yes, I set aside blocks of time to write.

"you don't have any goals,"

Yes, I have goals.

"you are not working?"

Yes, it is work and I am working, I simply don't get paid. Just as I work as a SAHM, yet don't get paid. In other words, paid work is not the only kind of work. There is also unpaid work as in the examples I outlined above.

"If you are not expecting compensation in the first place through a publisher nor will you expect to be paid for this book....where are the funds coming from to publish?"

Again, through self publishing/personal funding.

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 10:09am
Want to borrow Keith's helmet? It's black. It's made to look like an 8-ball. :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 10:12am

<>

"Elaborate? You receive income, either in the form of cash or trade,"

No, as I have already explained, I'm merely an *aspiring* writer, I don't receive income, nor do I belong to the workforce. However, the fact that I do not get paid and do not belong to the workforce doesn't necessarily mean that I don't work. Again, work can be paid or unpaid, but it is still work nonetheless.

"the IRS expects you to pay taxes on this income, even if you don't think you belong to the workforce....the IRS may think differently.

Again as I have already stated, "if you're talking about the future. I'll have to see what happens when that time comes."

"If you don't understand the tax system, then I highly suggest you consults a tax professional before you publish this book."

And once again, we have already had this discussion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 10:17am

"So how do you self publish a book without money?"

Did I say that I could self publish a book without money? Without a publisher, yes. Without money/funding, no. Again, it is possible to publish a book via self publishing/personal funding.

"Do you actually type it and print it on your computer?"

I suppose you could, but binding would be tricky. But alas, even this method would still require personal funding.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 10:20am
So what? I'm a lawyer too, so I'm well aware of how the options in law have changed since I graduated 20 yrs ago. But it's still not a fluid workplace, and attitudes like "I only care about the options *I* want to exercise" don't help women overall.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 10:22am
If you are a mother working at home part time, you are a part-time work at home mom and therefore part of the paid workforce. I don't know what's hard about understanding that.

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