Hitting the "Mommy Wall"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Hitting the "Mommy Wall"
1585
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 11:19am

I am surprised that this actually comes as a surprise to women trying to re-enter the workforce after taking time off to SAH. *Anyone* taking a not-so-brief hiatus from their career should expect the same treatment IMO . . . you're not going to be able to pick up right where you left off.

BTW - "hi" everyone! I've missed it here! :)

Women raise kids, lose careers

By TENISHA MERCER
THE DETROIT NEWS

Veronica Golubovic spent more than 20 years on the runways of Paris, Italy and New York as a designer for some of the most powerful names in fashion -- Yves Saint Laurent, Donna Karan and Perry Ellis.

But it was a three-year gap on her resume -- the hiatus she took after the births of her two children -- that garnered the most attention from prospective employers four years ago when Golubovic tried to resume her career.

She hasn't forgotten one recruiter's look of discomfort when she explained she was a stay-at-home mom. Or the way a top official at a retailer dismissed her during an interview with, "Oh, so now you don't know if you want to be a stay-at-home mommy."

"I came here thinking I've done so much, but it was very difficult," said Golubovic, 45, who eventually opened a designer clothing store in Birmingham, Mich., earlier this year. "I didn't think people would be hung up on it, but it was shocking and surprising. I couldn't believe their reactions."

Thirty years after women began joining the work force in large numbers, many are hitting the "mommy wall" when they try to return to work after having children.

They find it difficult -- if not impossible -- to return to the same positions they left, according to a recent study by the Forte Foundation in New York and the Wharton Center for Leadership and Change at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.

Unprepared for the obstacles they face on their return, many opt out of traditional corporate jobs and move to smaller companies. Experts dub the trend the "female brain drain" and say the exodus is coming just as businesses need talented, experienced workers to fill the gap as baby boomers prepare to retire en masse, leaving the biggest labor shortage in history in their wake.

"This is a defining issue for women," said Monica McGrath, an assistant professor at Wharton, who spearheaded the study. "Women who leave as vice presidents are not coming back as vice presidents. Now is not the time for corporations to squander billions of dollars in talent and enthusiasm at their fingertips. This is a talent pool that organizations need. We have a voice at the table, and I would hate to see us lose that."

The study found that half of working mothers who returned to work felt discouraged by their employer. Eighty-three percent ended up accepting a comparable or lower-level position, while 61 percent changed industries. About 45 percent of the women surveyed started their own businesses, and 59 percent went to work at smaller companies. The study is based on interviews with 200 women, most of them with MBA degrees.

The results add more fuel to the debate about whether and how women can blend careers and family. Even as women are graduating from law, business and medical schools at almost the same rates as men, they find their careers shifting in very different directions from their male colleagues once they have children.

"They want to spend time with their children, and it can be very time-consuming," said New York-based Cindy Swensen, who coaches executive women on how to return to work after having children. "Volunteering at the bake sale is probably not going to help you re-enter the work force."

It's a strange phenomenon for a generation of women who were raised to break down barriers while "having it all" -- even if that meant delaying or postponing plans to have children to focus on their careers.

"We hear very few stories of people just stepping back in where they left off," said Joanne Brundage, executive director of Mothers & More, a Chicago-area support group for working women who postpone their careers to have children.

"Clearly, there is a price to be paid for not staying full-time, full-force in most professions," Brundage said. "I think women who are becoming mothers now have a different set of priorities than women did 15 to 20 years ago. Unfortunately, the message may change, but the environment stays the same."

It's a message Cynthia Aks wasn't prepared for. The first female surgeon to graduate from the residency program at Oakland General Hospital in Madison Heights, Mich., in 1990, Aks battled her share of discrimination from colleagues who didn't care to work with women surgeons, she said.

But after Aks, an emergency room surgeon, decided to have a family in her late 30s, she found it tough to regain the solid career footing she had before her triplets were born nearly 13 years ago. Forced to take seven months off for pregnancy complications, her contract was not renewed, she said, because the hospital didn't know how to deal with a female surgeon with children.

Aks resumed her career as a specialty surgeon, but at a huge cost: Her salary plummeted 60 percent.

"The perception is that you cannot juggle multiple hats effectively," said Aks, 49, who now owns a medical practice in Southgate, Mich. "I believe it's challenging, but you can. You can have high aspirations, be successful, have a family and still be involved. It's not equal for women, and I don't think it ever will be."

Southfield, Mich.-based accounting firm Plante & Moran offers tailored work arrangements such as seasonal work, telecommuting and contract employment to retain working mothers. The firm offers the options to management only.

"We want to accommodate people and their schedules," said Bill Bufe, partner and human resources director at the accounting firm. "We've had people who wanted to leave, but we wouldn't let them. We made things much more flexible for them and allowed them to continue to keep their toe in the water here and do what they needed to do in their family."

CHANGING FOCUS WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

Tips for preparing to return to work:

Create a "re-entry" plan with specific goals

Foster a network for support while away from the work force

Volunteer while away and make sure that experience can be framed in business terms when you want to go back to work

Stay connected to colleagues

Maintain professional licenses and memberships and attend continuing education courses

Take classes to refresh knowledge and skills

Stay informed about the business implications of global and economic changes in your field

Secure contract work while away

Be realistic about how long it will take to re-enter the work force

Sources: Wharton Center for Leadership and Change, the Forte Foundation

CHANGING FOCUS

A survey of women returning to work after raising families found many shifted professional roles:

Accepted comparable or lower-level job: 83 percent

Changed industries: 61 percent

Changed functional role: 54 percent

Became self-employed: 45 percent

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 11:05am

That was pretty much my deduction.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 11:06am
My sister was with the prosecuting attorney's office before her kids were born and just wasn't happy being away from them.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 11:09am

I think that the workplace should treat people equally based on their qualifications. If there's someone who's better qualified than you are, she should get the job even if she hasn't worked ft or even if she has taken some time off to sah with her kids. You shouldn't be afraid to "compete" with someone who has taken time off. Why would you be, if you think length of time practicing really makes you a "better" lawyer than someone else? And if it doesn't, why should you get an edge over someone who's taken some time off?

I think you should be supportive of women who are less ambitious than you are and who have made different choices from yours. Just as I think the wohm partner in a law firm should be supportive of your choice to go in-house rather than stay on partnership track.

I'm a pt wohm (legal writing teacher at a law school). I was in private practice for 11 years, then a sahm for 6 years, and this is my third year back at work. And no, I didn't have a hard time getting a job when I went back to work. Ironically, this is the same job I was considering when I decided to sah for awhile. Not every wohm (certainly not my boss, who has always been a wohm) shares the attitude that sahms should be penalized for sah.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 11:10am

I don't think the money is the evil. It is the working for pay that is evil.


I won't even touch the irony of being disdainful for working for pay when your DH is providing shelter, food, insurance and vacations

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 11:11am

"You work?"

Absolutely! As both a SAHM and an aspiring writer. I simply don't get paid :)

"You just said several posts earlier that you don't ever plan on returning to the workforce."

That is correct. If I were forced/no longer had a choice in the matter, I would do what I had to do, but as far as planning to return to the workforce, nope.

"So which is it?"

I work. I don't get paid for my work. I am not part of the workforce.

"]You either work or you don't"

Then as I already said, I work.

"(we're talking paid employment in this thread)."

Correction, *you* (and many others) are talking about paid work in this thread. *I* however, am talking about both paid and unpaid work. Correct me if I'm wrong here, but this is a free country is it not :)

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 11:13am

You misunderstood me. What I meant was that they ended up pretty much working the same hours as before, just for less money.

Of course I think it's fair to work 75% time for 75% money. But most of the lawyers I know who have tried that ended up working 100% time for 75% money. Perhaps things have improved at the bigger firms recently--I've been out of private practice for 8 yrs. Personally, I think that non-partnership-track attorneys are a very positive thing, because you can pay them less, which means the partners can make more money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 11:27am

Irony at it's finest.


Why is working for money so evil or even distasteful, which is the message I am getting?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 11:34am

No, my stand is that as long as both parents are willing and capable of supporting their families, how it's actually done isn't important.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 11:37am
Yes, of course there is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 11:39am

"What happens if you receive compensation more than the limit?"

Then obviously I'd pay taxes.

"You do realize that you can belong to the workforce and not get paid?"

Sure, I suppose it's possible but not necessarily true in every case.

"Aren't volunteers part of the workforce? Many times in many places, they are the workforce.

I think you already answered your own question. Indeed, "Many times in many places, they are the workforce." But as I stated above, this isn't necessarily true in every case

"So you haven't made any plans?"

I'm not sure if I understand what kind of plans are you refering to? General plans, yes. Specific plan, no. Heck, I haven't even finished the book yet. I guess that would be my first plan of action.

"I thought you had plans to publish the book and see what the demand is, but not you are going to wait and see before making any decisions?

I'm afraid you've lost me. Yes, I have some general plans in the works, finishing the book being my primary concern at the moment. However, beyond that I'll just have to see what happens :)

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