Hitting the "Mommy Wall"
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| Mon, 10-24-2005 - 11:19am |
I am surprised that this actually comes as a surprise to women trying to re-enter the workforce after taking time off to SAH. *Anyone* taking a not-so-brief hiatus from their career should expect the same treatment IMO . . . you're not going to be able to pick up right where you left off.
BTW - "hi" everyone! I've missed it here! :)
Women raise kids, lose careers
By TENISHA MERCER
THE DETROIT NEWS
Veronica Golubovic spent more than 20 years on the runways of Paris, Italy and New York as a designer for some of the most powerful names in fashion -- Yves Saint Laurent, Donna Karan and Perry Ellis.
But it was a three-year gap on her resume -- the hiatus she took after the births of her two children -- that garnered the most attention from prospective employers four years ago when Golubovic tried to resume her career.
She hasn't forgotten one recruiter's look of discomfort when she explained she was a stay-at-home mom. Or the way a top official at a retailer dismissed her during an interview with, "Oh, so now you don't know if you want to be a stay-at-home mommy."
"I came here thinking I've done so much, but it was very difficult," said Golubovic, 45, who eventually opened a designer clothing store in Birmingham, Mich., earlier this year. "I didn't think people would be hung up on it, but it was shocking and surprising. I couldn't believe their reactions."
Thirty years after women began joining the work force in large numbers, many are hitting the "mommy wall" when they try to return to work after having children.
They find it difficult -- if not impossible -- to return to the same positions they left, according to a recent study by the Forte Foundation in New York and the Wharton Center for Leadership and Change at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.
Unprepared for the obstacles they face on their return, many opt out of traditional corporate jobs and move to smaller companies. Experts dub the trend the "female brain drain" and say the exodus is coming just as businesses need talented, experienced workers to fill the gap as baby boomers prepare to retire en masse, leaving the biggest labor shortage in history in their wake.
"This is a defining issue for women," said Monica McGrath, an assistant professor at Wharton, who spearheaded the study. "Women who leave as vice presidents are not coming back as vice presidents. Now is not the time for corporations to squander billions of dollars in talent and enthusiasm at their fingertips. This is a talent pool that organizations need. We have a voice at the table, and I would hate to see us lose that."
The study found that half of working mothers who returned to work felt discouraged by their employer. Eighty-three percent ended up accepting a comparable or lower-level position, while 61 percent changed industries. About 45 percent of the women surveyed started their own businesses, and 59 percent went to work at smaller companies. The study is based on interviews with 200 women, most of them with MBA degrees.
The results add more fuel to the debate about whether and how women can blend careers and family. Even as women are graduating from law, business and medical schools at almost the same rates as men, they find their careers shifting in very different directions from their male colleagues once they have children.
"They want to spend time with their children, and it can be very time-consuming," said New York-based Cindy Swensen, who coaches executive women on how to return to work after having children. "Volunteering at the bake sale is probably not going to help you re-enter the work force."
It's a strange phenomenon for a generation of women who were raised to break down barriers while "having it all" -- even if that meant delaying or postponing plans to have children to focus on their careers.
"We hear very few stories of people just stepping back in where they left off," said Joanne Brundage, executive director of Mothers & More, a Chicago-area support group for working women who postpone their careers to have children.
"Clearly, there is a price to be paid for not staying full-time, full-force in most professions," Brundage said. "I think women who are becoming mothers now have a different set of priorities than women did 15 to 20 years ago. Unfortunately, the message may change, but the environment stays the same."
It's a message Cynthia Aks wasn't prepared for. The first female surgeon to graduate from the residency program at Oakland General Hospital in Madison Heights, Mich., in 1990, Aks battled her share of discrimination from colleagues who didn't care to work with women surgeons, she said.
But after Aks, an emergency room surgeon, decided to have a family in her late 30s, she found it tough to regain the solid career footing she had before her triplets were born nearly 13 years ago. Forced to take seven months off for pregnancy complications, her contract was not renewed, she said, because the hospital didn't know how to deal with a female surgeon with children.
Aks resumed her career as a specialty surgeon, but at a huge cost: Her salary plummeted 60 percent.
"The perception is that you cannot juggle multiple hats effectively," said Aks, 49, who now owns a medical practice in Southgate, Mich. "I believe it's challenging, but you can. You can have high aspirations, be successful, have a family and still be involved. It's not equal for women, and I don't think it ever will be."
Southfield, Mich.-based accounting firm Plante & Moran offers tailored work arrangements such as seasonal work, telecommuting and contract employment to retain working mothers. The firm offers the options to management only.
"We want to accommodate people and their schedules," said Bill Bufe, partner and human resources director at the accounting firm. "We've had people who wanted to leave, but we wouldn't let them. We made things much more flexible for them and allowed them to continue to keep their toe in the water here and do what they needed to do in their family."
CHANGING FOCUS WHAT WOMEN CAN DO
WHAT WOMEN CAN DO
Tips for preparing to return to work:
Create a "re-entry" plan with specific goals
Foster a network for support while away from the work force
Volunteer while away and make sure that experience can be framed in business terms when you want to go back to work
Stay connected to colleagues
Maintain professional licenses and memberships and attend continuing education courses
Take classes to refresh knowledge and skills
Stay informed about the business implications of global and economic changes in your field
Secure contract work while away
Be realistic about how long it will take to re-enter the work force
Sources: Wharton Center for Leadership and Change, the Forte Foundation
CHANGING FOCUS
A survey of women returning to work after raising families found many shifted professional roles:
Accepted comparable or lower-level job: 83 percent
Changed industries: 61 percent
Changed functional role: 54 percent
Became self-employed: 45 percent

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"Supportive as in it's okay to work pt or be less ambitious for awhile."
It's okay, as in I wouldn't judge a person as a human being for working pt.
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"I was providing supporting information to show why in my relationship with my dh, his ability to get a job for a substantial salary does not trump my contributions, resources, and potential, and that just because he makes the money in our family, he does not get to make (big family) decisions without my input."
Great. Every marriage and family has its own dynamic.
"(who not only knows why I don't have a 200K a year position--he contributed to the decision that I not pursue the path that leads to such a position.)"
There's zero reason to believe that you could have ever landed a 200K position, so that's totally irrelevant to the debate.
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It apparently depends on the extras; evidently, some extras are more moral to work for than others.
Your kids' activities?
Karen
"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't
"I didn't realize you were the employer."
I'm not, as in I don't pay their salaries.
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"It is entirely possible to earn money without entering the workforce by self publishing a book, borrowing a neighbor's RV or trading favors with a medical doctor."
Indeed it is possible.
"Apparently, working is so evil and so horrible to a family's existence that it is better to scrap by through odd jobs and self publishing and borrow things from neighbors for some."
You are missing the point here, as well as perpetuating some blatantly negative stereotypes. It's not about "scraping by", it's about choice. Please do not assume that simply because a family chooses not to have a WOHM/WAHM or two WOHP'/?WOHP'S, that they are simply "scraping by." It's really unfair. The primary reason that I SAH is because I have the choice to do so. Not to mention, it ultimately it fulfills me in a way that no other work/job, paid or otherwise ever could.
Also, please try to understand that when I say I plan to self publish a book, record a cd, and go back and get my Masters degree at some point (most likely in Evolutionary Psychology), these are not simply "odd jobs" as I don't ever really expect to be compensated for the time and work that I put into them. I want to do and accomplish these things because they fulfill me. These things are simply what I love to do. They are my heart and soul, just as being a SAHM is my heart and soul. These are the three things that I want to accomplish before I die, so that I can feel that I somehow reached my self proclaimed summit of self actualization and lived my life to the fullest extent and potential that I saw fit. Eveyone has their own path. This is mine and I won't rest until I've finished what I've come here to do, at least not by choice anyway :)
Is there some reason why my life must revolve around being a member of the workforce and making money? I'm sorry but this sort of thing simply doesn't make me happy, in fact it makes me extremely unhappy. I'm looking for something more out of life than a career and a paycheck. When I trade my time for money it makes me feel like I am selling out. In all honesty, paid work makes me feel evil and horrible (if I may borrow your own words). I can't help the way I feel. I simply feel how I feel. Sure, others may not understand my hang ups/discomfort regarding money, but they don't need to because they aren't me.
Contrary to popular beliefs/stereotypes, being a SAHM is not: irresponsible, unambitious, selfish, demeaning, unfeminist, quitting, synonomous with laziness, etc. (I could go on but I think you get the point). In other words, there is absolutely nothing wrong with consciously and purposely choosing to exclusively focus a majority of one's time and energy on one's family. In lieu of my past experiences as well as my feelings regarding paid work and being a member of the workforce, I simply prefer to work for free/on a volunteer basis. Someone once told me to choose a job/a career/work that I would be willing do without any compensation whatsoever, just for the sake/love of doing it. Little did I know just how profound these words were at the time, but for some reason I have literally have taken those words of wisdom to heart.
Call me crazy, but it takes a person with a great deal of strength, courage, independence, intelligence, etc. to go against the grain, consciously drop out of the workforce, and still have the guts to say I am worth something regardless of how much or how little money I can earn. My life does not revolve around a paycheck and what I can buy, own, and posses with that paycheck. Because when it's said and done money can't buy happiness. It can't buy love. It can't buy time. It can't buy forgiveness. It can't buy salvation. It can't but fulfillment. It can't buy peace.
Sorry for the rant, ramble, and perhaps even the stroke of insanity (or might that be genius). I just had to get some things off my chest. Anyway, take aim, fire away, I'm ready for the impending onslaught of insult and injury LOL :)
"When I trade my time for money it makes me feel like I am selling out. In all honesty, paid work makes me feel evil and horrible (if I may borrow your own words). "
Good thing your DH doesn't feel that way, or otherwise you'd have to "sell out," huh?
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Since you have said that working for money makes you feel evil, horrible and basically extremely unhappy....how do you feel that you are supported by someone who makes money?
PumpkinAngel
"We are talking about 10 sahms. Yes, I suppose I know sahm's who do plan to return to work, however my closest friends that happen to be sahms have no intention of returning to work. I am privy to this information because we have talked about it. We are friends, we talk about a lot of things."
You seem to have forgotten about the rest of your statement. You know the part about how the majority of them have spouses who work extensive hours and have full travel schedules.
Sorry, but I still say that with regards to SAHM's, their future plans, and their spouses work schedules your post seems to perpetuate some very common stereotypes/assumptions, based on a fairly small group of women, rather than a broad and perhaps more diverse group of women. Not that I am accusing you of purposely speculating of course. I am simply pointing out that the statments in your post seem/appear to be very stereotypical.
BTW, what do each of these spouse do anyway?
"If you are a mother working at home part time, you are a part-time work at home mom and therefore part of the paid workforce. I don't know what's hard about understanding that."
Even though I don't get paid? How's so :)
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