Hitting the "Mommy Wall"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Hitting the "Mommy Wall"
1585
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 11:19am

I am surprised that this actually comes as a surprise to women trying to re-enter the workforce after taking time off to SAH. *Anyone* taking a not-so-brief hiatus from their career should expect the same treatment IMO . . . you're not going to be able to pick up right where you left off.

BTW - "hi" everyone! I've missed it here! :)

Women raise kids, lose careers

By TENISHA MERCER
THE DETROIT NEWS

Veronica Golubovic spent more than 20 years on the runways of Paris, Italy and New York as a designer for some of the most powerful names in fashion -- Yves Saint Laurent, Donna Karan and Perry Ellis.

But it was a three-year gap on her resume -- the hiatus she took after the births of her two children -- that garnered the most attention from prospective employers four years ago when Golubovic tried to resume her career.

She hasn't forgotten one recruiter's look of discomfort when she explained she was a stay-at-home mom. Or the way a top official at a retailer dismissed her during an interview with, "Oh, so now you don't know if you want to be a stay-at-home mommy."

"I came here thinking I've done so much, but it was very difficult," said Golubovic, 45, who eventually opened a designer clothing store in Birmingham, Mich., earlier this year. "I didn't think people would be hung up on it, but it was shocking and surprising. I couldn't believe their reactions."

Thirty years after women began joining the work force in large numbers, many are hitting the "mommy wall" when they try to return to work after having children.

They find it difficult -- if not impossible -- to return to the same positions they left, according to a recent study by the Forte Foundation in New York and the Wharton Center for Leadership and Change at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.

Unprepared for the obstacles they face on their return, many opt out of traditional corporate jobs and move to smaller companies. Experts dub the trend the "female brain drain" and say the exodus is coming just as businesses need talented, experienced workers to fill the gap as baby boomers prepare to retire en masse, leaving the biggest labor shortage in history in their wake.

"This is a defining issue for women," said Monica McGrath, an assistant professor at Wharton, who spearheaded the study. "Women who leave as vice presidents are not coming back as vice presidents. Now is not the time for corporations to squander billions of dollars in talent and enthusiasm at their fingertips. This is a talent pool that organizations need. We have a voice at the table, and I would hate to see us lose that."

The study found that half of working mothers who returned to work felt discouraged by their employer. Eighty-three percent ended up accepting a comparable or lower-level position, while 61 percent changed industries. About 45 percent of the women surveyed started their own businesses, and 59 percent went to work at smaller companies. The study is based on interviews with 200 women, most of them with MBA degrees.

The results add more fuel to the debate about whether and how women can blend careers and family. Even as women are graduating from law, business and medical schools at almost the same rates as men, they find their careers shifting in very different directions from their male colleagues once they have children.

"They want to spend time with their children, and it can be very time-consuming," said New York-based Cindy Swensen, who coaches executive women on how to return to work after having children. "Volunteering at the bake sale is probably not going to help you re-enter the work force."

It's a strange phenomenon for a generation of women who were raised to break down barriers while "having it all" -- even if that meant delaying or postponing plans to have children to focus on their careers.

"We hear very few stories of people just stepping back in where they left off," said Joanne Brundage, executive director of Mothers & More, a Chicago-area support group for working women who postpone their careers to have children.

"Clearly, there is a price to be paid for not staying full-time, full-force in most professions," Brundage said. "I think women who are becoming mothers now have a different set of priorities than women did 15 to 20 years ago. Unfortunately, the message may change, but the environment stays the same."

It's a message Cynthia Aks wasn't prepared for. The first female surgeon to graduate from the residency program at Oakland General Hospital in Madison Heights, Mich., in 1990, Aks battled her share of discrimination from colleagues who didn't care to work with women surgeons, she said.

But after Aks, an emergency room surgeon, decided to have a family in her late 30s, she found it tough to regain the solid career footing she had before her triplets were born nearly 13 years ago. Forced to take seven months off for pregnancy complications, her contract was not renewed, she said, because the hospital didn't know how to deal with a female surgeon with children.

Aks resumed her career as a specialty surgeon, but at a huge cost: Her salary plummeted 60 percent.

"The perception is that you cannot juggle multiple hats effectively," said Aks, 49, who now owns a medical practice in Southgate, Mich. "I believe it's challenging, but you can. You can have high aspirations, be successful, have a family and still be involved. It's not equal for women, and I don't think it ever will be."

Southfield, Mich.-based accounting firm Plante & Moran offers tailored work arrangements such as seasonal work, telecommuting and contract employment to retain working mothers. The firm offers the options to management only.

"We want to accommodate people and their schedules," said Bill Bufe, partner and human resources director at the accounting firm. "We've had people who wanted to leave, but we wouldn't let them. We made things much more flexible for them and allowed them to continue to keep their toe in the water here and do what they needed to do in their family."

CHANGING FOCUS WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

Tips for preparing to return to work:

Create a "re-entry" plan with specific goals

Foster a network for support while away from the work force

Volunteer while away and make sure that experience can be framed in business terms when you want to go back to work

Stay connected to colleagues

Maintain professional licenses and memberships and attend continuing education courses

Take classes to refresh knowledge and skills

Stay informed about the business implications of global and economic changes in your field

Secure contract work while away

Be realistic about how long it will take to re-enter the work force

Sources: Wharton Center for Leadership and Change, the Forte Foundation

CHANGING FOCUS

A survey of women returning to work after raising families found many shifted professional roles:

Accepted comparable or lower-level job: 83 percent

Changed industries: 61 percent

Changed functional role: 54 percent

Became self-employed: 45 percent

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 1:07pm

"That may very well be some law firms' view of commitment--is it really yours? The quality of work doesn't suffer at some point? The employee doesn't burn out at some point? Is this what you will expect of employees in your law dept if you are ever in charge?"


You're talking about two different things in the above quote. Yes, I believe what I described is private practice's view of commitment.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 1:09pm

She has full time live in childcare, and she has no eldercare issues or children with health or other special needs.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 1:20pm

"Why don't you get back to us when you are no longer be supported by someone who has sold out and is supporting your grandiose ideas with that evil/horrible money?"

Ok, that would be right about now, then :)

BTW, why do you view a SAHM who is being supported by her husband as being a negative, selfish, irresponsible, unambitious, etc. option? Don't you think this is a fairly prejudiced, anti-feminist, militant WOHM, stance on your part? Do you really think families shouldn't have a variety of options to choose from? If so, why?

As far as I'm concerned, this whole debate is primarily about choice(s). What is this debate primarily about for you? Defending only the choices of WOHM's through any and all means including but not limited to: prejudice, personal bias, perpetuating negative stereotypes and/or assumptions, upholding blatantly anti-feminist as well as militant WOHM ideals, etc. ? Are these tactics and ideals the sort of thing you want your children to grow up learning about and potentially pertpetuating themselves?

Is there something inherently wrong with a husband being supportive/providing support for a SAHM if that is what they have chosen to do and/or how they have chosen to arrange their family? If so, you you please explain just what is that makes it inherently wrong? Weren't you yourself a SAHM for a period of time? Did you sponge off of your dh? Did your family barely scrape by? Did they go without necessities such as: food, shelter, clothing, health insurance, etc? Please elaborate.

I guess I'm just trying to understand where your negative stereotypes, assumptions, personal bias, prejudiced, anti-feminist, militant WOHM views derive from. Again, could you please elaborate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 1:42pm

<>


Your dh doesn't support the family any longer?

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 1:42pm

I think that the workplace should treat people equally based on their qualifications. If there's someone who's better qualified than you are, she should get the job even if she hasn't worked ft or even if she has taken some time off to sah with her kids."

Qualifications are important but part of these qualifications is stable career path; legnth of time in a role; history of increased responsibility, etc. You can't always demonstrate these things with gaps and you shouldnt be judged as the same...all other things being equal, as someone without the gaps.

I can give you a real life example....

I interviewed two execs for a CEO role last week and yesterday. Both have done similar things; have superb operational expertise, stellar educations; are smart; aggressive; both have taken companies from mid level to large $1b+ market caps...One took a 1 year sabatical that he's just coming off of. Five years ago he took at 2 year sabattical.
He's not looking as strong as the other exec without gaps. He will likely not get offered the role...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 1:50pm

"I asked where are those personal funds coming from"

My family's personal funds are no differerent than your family's personal funds. Sure, the funding in and of itself may come from a variety of different sources but they are personal funds nonetheless.

Are you trying to suggest that SAHM's have no personal funds? That personal funds can be claimed, accessed, and used only by those who specifically earned the funds? How so? Hmm, what did you do when you were a SAHM?

Are you sure you are an accountant/prepare people's taxes? Have you never prepared a tax return in which a family had one WOHP/WAHP and one SAHM/homemaker? I'm fairly certain that the IRS would consider your views on this particular issue to be very unprofessional as well as extremely biased/prejudiced.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 1:52pm

Yours is discrimination, but not unlawful discrimination. You're protecting the glass ceiling and the marked wage disparity between men and women in one fell swoop. I think you get bonus points for that."

No it isnt! This doesnt just apply to SAHM's. If someone takes significant time off...for any reason, they can expect a decrease in their comp when they reenter the work force. *Unless* they've stayed current through part time work or something. You can't expect to waltz back in at the same level as your peers who stayed on the career track.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 1:57pm

"You make less than 60 dollars a day ( ten days X 60 = $600)?"

Yes, as I only work 2-2.5 hours per day over the course of those 10 days (so about 20-25 hours total).

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 1:57pm

When I trade my time for money it makes me feel like I am selling out. In all honesty, paid work makes me feel evil and horrible (if I may borrow your own words). I can't help the way I feel. I simply feel how I feel. Sure, others may not understand my hang ups/discomfort regarding money, but they don't need to because they aren't me. "

If you liked what you did...and happened to get paid for it...you wouldnt feel that way. I certainly don't! However, there are "jobs" I can imagine that would make me feel that way....So I choose not to consider them. Working for an unethical organization would make me feel that way.

I wonder...does your DH work? Do you feel he's selling out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 2:00pm

"If so, why do you have two WOHP's if each of you can soley support your family on one of your respective incomes?"

Because WOH is the best use of our time for each of us individually and for our family as a whole in the long run.

Good for you! I have no doubt that what you say is true and that you are doing what is best for your family. Keep up the good work.

Pages