Hitting the "Mommy Wall"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Hitting the "Mommy Wall"
1585
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 11:19am

I am surprised that this actually comes as a surprise to women trying to re-enter the workforce after taking time off to SAH. *Anyone* taking a not-so-brief hiatus from their career should expect the same treatment IMO . . . you're not going to be able to pick up right where you left off.

BTW - "hi" everyone! I've missed it here! :)

Women raise kids, lose careers

By TENISHA MERCER
THE DETROIT NEWS

Veronica Golubovic spent more than 20 years on the runways of Paris, Italy and New York as a designer for some of the most powerful names in fashion -- Yves Saint Laurent, Donna Karan and Perry Ellis.

But it was a three-year gap on her resume -- the hiatus she took after the births of her two children -- that garnered the most attention from prospective employers four years ago when Golubovic tried to resume her career.

She hasn't forgotten one recruiter's look of discomfort when she explained she was a stay-at-home mom. Or the way a top official at a retailer dismissed her during an interview with, "Oh, so now you don't know if you want to be a stay-at-home mommy."

"I came here thinking I've done so much, but it was very difficult," said Golubovic, 45, who eventually opened a designer clothing store in Birmingham, Mich., earlier this year. "I didn't think people would be hung up on it, but it was shocking and surprising. I couldn't believe their reactions."

Thirty years after women began joining the work force in large numbers, many are hitting the "mommy wall" when they try to return to work after having children.

They find it difficult -- if not impossible -- to return to the same positions they left, according to a recent study by the Forte Foundation in New York and the Wharton Center for Leadership and Change at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.

Unprepared for the obstacles they face on their return, many opt out of traditional corporate jobs and move to smaller companies. Experts dub the trend the "female brain drain" and say the exodus is coming just as businesses need talented, experienced workers to fill the gap as baby boomers prepare to retire en masse, leaving the biggest labor shortage in history in their wake.

"This is a defining issue for women," said Monica McGrath, an assistant professor at Wharton, who spearheaded the study. "Women who leave as vice presidents are not coming back as vice presidents. Now is not the time for corporations to squander billions of dollars in talent and enthusiasm at their fingertips. This is a talent pool that organizations need. We have a voice at the table, and I would hate to see us lose that."

The study found that half of working mothers who returned to work felt discouraged by their employer. Eighty-three percent ended up accepting a comparable or lower-level position, while 61 percent changed industries. About 45 percent of the women surveyed started their own businesses, and 59 percent went to work at smaller companies. The study is based on interviews with 200 women, most of them with MBA degrees.

The results add more fuel to the debate about whether and how women can blend careers and family. Even as women are graduating from law, business and medical schools at almost the same rates as men, they find their careers shifting in very different directions from their male colleagues once they have children.

"They want to spend time with their children, and it can be very time-consuming," said New York-based Cindy Swensen, who coaches executive women on how to return to work after having children. "Volunteering at the bake sale is probably not going to help you re-enter the work force."

It's a strange phenomenon for a generation of women who were raised to break down barriers while "having it all" -- even if that meant delaying or postponing plans to have children to focus on their careers.

"We hear very few stories of people just stepping back in where they left off," said Joanne Brundage, executive director of Mothers & More, a Chicago-area support group for working women who postpone their careers to have children.

"Clearly, there is a price to be paid for not staying full-time, full-force in most professions," Brundage said. "I think women who are becoming mothers now have a different set of priorities than women did 15 to 20 years ago. Unfortunately, the message may change, but the environment stays the same."

It's a message Cynthia Aks wasn't prepared for. The first female surgeon to graduate from the residency program at Oakland General Hospital in Madison Heights, Mich., in 1990, Aks battled her share of discrimination from colleagues who didn't care to work with women surgeons, she said.

But after Aks, an emergency room surgeon, decided to have a family in her late 30s, she found it tough to regain the solid career footing she had before her triplets were born nearly 13 years ago. Forced to take seven months off for pregnancy complications, her contract was not renewed, she said, because the hospital didn't know how to deal with a female surgeon with children.

Aks resumed her career as a specialty surgeon, but at a huge cost: Her salary plummeted 60 percent.

"The perception is that you cannot juggle multiple hats effectively," said Aks, 49, who now owns a medical practice in Southgate, Mich. "I believe it's challenging, but you can. You can have high aspirations, be successful, have a family and still be involved. It's not equal for women, and I don't think it ever will be."

Southfield, Mich.-based accounting firm Plante & Moran offers tailored work arrangements such as seasonal work, telecommuting and contract employment to retain working mothers. The firm offers the options to management only.

"We want to accommodate people and their schedules," said Bill Bufe, partner and human resources director at the accounting firm. "We've had people who wanted to leave, but we wouldn't let them. We made things much more flexible for them and allowed them to continue to keep their toe in the water here and do what they needed to do in their family."

CHANGING FOCUS WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

Tips for preparing to return to work:

Create a "re-entry" plan with specific goals

Foster a network for support while away from the work force

Volunteer while away and make sure that experience can be framed in business terms when you want to go back to work

Stay connected to colleagues

Maintain professional licenses and memberships and attend continuing education courses

Take classes to refresh knowledge and skills

Stay informed about the business implications of global and economic changes in your field

Secure contract work while away

Be realistic about how long it will take to re-enter the work force

Sources: Wharton Center for Leadership and Change, the Forte Foundation

CHANGING FOCUS

A survey of women returning to work after raising families found many shifted professional roles:

Accepted comparable or lower-level job: 83 percent

Changed industries: 61 percent

Changed functional role: 54 percent

Became self-employed: 45 percent

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Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 5:32pm
Oh, I see. You wouldn't hire someone who had sah for 6 years because you think they won't stay 5 years. I'm glad my boss doesn't have those prejudices against former sahms. I'm in my third year of teaching, and I have no plans to leave.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 5:34pm

"Why do you consider these people to be part of a quasi-anti-workforce?"

Because many have of them have purposely chosen to leave the traditional workforce in favor of self employment, they don't necessarily work for a particular company, business, or industry, they don't have bosses or superiors to answer to, they are responsible for setting their own hours, deadlines, and work load, they have the ability to accept only the work, projects, ventures that they choose to accept, and often offer untraditional services and/or products that might not necessarily be offered by the traditional workforce in the first place.

"I also asked before what your definition of a work force was as I don't seem to have the same reference of mind, so please add quasi-anti-workforce to that list as well."

I would consider the definition of quasi-anti-workforce to be basically the same as above. A workforce comprised of those individuals who have purposely choosen to leave the traditional workforce in favor of self employment, who don't necessarily work for a particular company, business, or industry, who don't have bosses or superiors to answer to, who are responsible for setting their own hours, deadlines, and work load, who have the ability to accept only the work, projects, ventures that they choose to accept, and who often offer untraditional services and/or products that might not necessarily be offered by the traditional workforce in the first place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 5:38pm

Hmmm, that's a strange observation in light of your post to me about the man with the 3 year "sabbatical." Gosh, you explained he was one of only a few people in the entire world capbale of filling the position. Maybe people with gaps on their resumes are considered qualified by some employers.

Shouldn't it be a basic to any headhunter that when a person is hired, um, the employer deems the new employee qualified? Or are you saying you know lots of employers who simply hire the unqualified??

You said you've been away from established law firms and publicly traded companies for at least 17 months. 90% of your firm's clients are start-ups with no revenue, no income. So, perhaps - and I hate to borrow your pithy retort that seems to be in every one of your responses to me lately - but let me quote you, "you obviously don't know what you're talking about." I do. It's really not that complicated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 5:45pm

"So....its okay for your dh to work and make evil and horrible money, he isn't selling out...."

My feelings regarding selling out are just that, mine. Thus they apply to me and only me. Not my dh, not you, not anyone else.

"How do you reconcile your dislike for money and having the need for money in order to live let alone using evil and horrible money to fulfill your bliss?"

Because there is a big difference between needing money in order to live and letting the love of money control one's life. Certainly money is necessary in order to live. However, letting the love of money control one's life clearly is not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 5:54pm

Exactly. She hasn't answered any of my questions either. =( Apparently, all of my observations have been correct!!

It's funny. Most of us have agreed in the discussion of part-timers that they work the hours of nearly a full work week, yet don't get full pay. I think that's "ambitious" - to work because you need to get the job done properly.

Yet, when asked about their hours, the full-time militants on the board have said down to the minute exactly when their work days begin and end. The full-timers are the clock-watchers, the ones who make certain they do not work for one minute more than they will be paid for. That's the very definition of unambitious.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 5:54pm

Opps. This should have read:

WHat do you think:

Do *you* think that mothers and fathers must have the same roles/do the same kinds of work in order to be considered equal?

Do *you* think WOHM's/WAHM's/SAHM's are equal?

Do *you* think WOHD's/WAHD's/SAHD's are equal?

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 6:01pm
If it's all about money, you don't work a minute longer than you're being paid to. Whatever happened to doing a good job because you have a good work ethic?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 6:03pm

FWIW, I'll tell you my company's policy.

Mondo

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 6:11pm

Apparently that's your answer for everything. I'm sorry but I just don't think headhunting is all that complicated! But if that's the terminology that's out there these days, then I'm going to start saying I've been on a 7 yr-sabbatical. I usually just say the truth - I've been unemployed - but sabbatical just sounds so much prettier. Gotta love headhunters!"

I called them sabbaticals cause that's what they were. He was still on company pay roll. In fact...in both cases it was the *only* time in the company's history they had allowed an exec to take an extended sabbatical.

I never said my job was all the complicated. But its clearly not something you grasp.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 6:37pm

So, you're alleging now that he's qualified because during his sabbaticals were PAID leave?? Because earlier, you said he was UNQUALIFIED due to gaps in his employment:

<

I can give you a real life example....>> Then you went on to discuss this man and his sabbaticals. You're the one who used him as an example of being unqualified (like the sahm) because of gaps in his employment.

He was unqualified even in your eyes. It didn't matter before whether he was paid or not for his leaves. You can't use that to redeem your headhunting faux pas! The fact remains - you offered him up to your client as a qualified candidate, when you knew he was not.

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