Hitting the "Mommy Wall"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Hitting the "Mommy Wall"
1585
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 11:19am

I am surprised that this actually comes as a surprise to women trying to re-enter the workforce after taking time off to SAH. *Anyone* taking a not-so-brief hiatus from their career should expect the same treatment IMO . . . you're not going to be able to pick up right where you left off.

BTW - "hi" everyone! I've missed it here! :)

Women raise kids, lose careers

By TENISHA MERCER
THE DETROIT NEWS

Veronica Golubovic spent more than 20 years on the runways of Paris, Italy and New York as a designer for some of the most powerful names in fashion -- Yves Saint Laurent, Donna Karan and Perry Ellis.

But it was a three-year gap on her resume -- the hiatus she took after the births of her two children -- that garnered the most attention from prospective employers four years ago when Golubovic tried to resume her career.

She hasn't forgotten one recruiter's look of discomfort when she explained she was a stay-at-home mom. Or the way a top official at a retailer dismissed her during an interview with, "Oh, so now you don't know if you want to be a stay-at-home mommy."

"I came here thinking I've done so much, but it was very difficult," said Golubovic, 45, who eventually opened a designer clothing store in Birmingham, Mich., earlier this year. "I didn't think people would be hung up on it, but it was shocking and surprising. I couldn't believe their reactions."

Thirty years after women began joining the work force in large numbers, many are hitting the "mommy wall" when they try to return to work after having children.

They find it difficult -- if not impossible -- to return to the same positions they left, according to a recent study by the Forte Foundation in New York and the Wharton Center for Leadership and Change at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.

Unprepared for the obstacles they face on their return, many opt out of traditional corporate jobs and move to smaller companies. Experts dub the trend the "female brain drain" and say the exodus is coming just as businesses need talented, experienced workers to fill the gap as baby boomers prepare to retire en masse, leaving the biggest labor shortage in history in their wake.

"This is a defining issue for women," said Monica McGrath, an assistant professor at Wharton, who spearheaded the study. "Women who leave as vice presidents are not coming back as vice presidents. Now is not the time for corporations to squander billions of dollars in talent and enthusiasm at their fingertips. This is a talent pool that organizations need. We have a voice at the table, and I would hate to see us lose that."

The study found that half of working mothers who returned to work felt discouraged by their employer. Eighty-three percent ended up accepting a comparable or lower-level position, while 61 percent changed industries. About 45 percent of the women surveyed started their own businesses, and 59 percent went to work at smaller companies. The study is based on interviews with 200 women, most of them with MBA degrees.

The results add more fuel to the debate about whether and how women can blend careers and family. Even as women are graduating from law, business and medical schools at almost the same rates as men, they find their careers shifting in very different directions from their male colleagues once they have children.

"They want to spend time with their children, and it can be very time-consuming," said New York-based Cindy Swensen, who coaches executive women on how to return to work after having children. "Volunteering at the bake sale is probably not going to help you re-enter the work force."

It's a strange phenomenon for a generation of women who were raised to break down barriers while "having it all" -- even if that meant delaying or postponing plans to have children to focus on their careers.

"We hear very few stories of people just stepping back in where they left off," said Joanne Brundage, executive director of Mothers & More, a Chicago-area support group for working women who postpone their careers to have children.

"Clearly, there is a price to be paid for not staying full-time, full-force in most professions," Brundage said. "I think women who are becoming mothers now have a different set of priorities than women did 15 to 20 years ago. Unfortunately, the message may change, but the environment stays the same."

It's a message Cynthia Aks wasn't prepared for. The first female surgeon to graduate from the residency program at Oakland General Hospital in Madison Heights, Mich., in 1990, Aks battled her share of discrimination from colleagues who didn't care to work with women surgeons, she said.

But after Aks, an emergency room surgeon, decided to have a family in her late 30s, she found it tough to regain the solid career footing she had before her triplets were born nearly 13 years ago. Forced to take seven months off for pregnancy complications, her contract was not renewed, she said, because the hospital didn't know how to deal with a female surgeon with children.

Aks resumed her career as a specialty surgeon, but at a huge cost: Her salary plummeted 60 percent.

"The perception is that you cannot juggle multiple hats effectively," said Aks, 49, who now owns a medical practice in Southgate, Mich. "I believe it's challenging, but you can. You can have high aspirations, be successful, have a family and still be involved. It's not equal for women, and I don't think it ever will be."

Southfield, Mich.-based accounting firm Plante & Moran offers tailored work arrangements such as seasonal work, telecommuting and contract employment to retain working mothers. The firm offers the options to management only.

"We want to accommodate people and their schedules," said Bill Bufe, partner and human resources director at the accounting firm. "We've had people who wanted to leave, but we wouldn't let them. We made things much more flexible for them and allowed them to continue to keep their toe in the water here and do what they needed to do in their family."

CHANGING FOCUS WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

Tips for preparing to return to work:

Create a "re-entry" plan with specific goals

Foster a network for support while away from the work force

Volunteer while away and make sure that experience can be framed in business terms when you want to go back to work

Stay connected to colleagues

Maintain professional licenses and memberships and attend continuing education courses

Take classes to refresh knowledge and skills

Stay informed about the business implications of global and economic changes in your field

Secure contract work while away

Be realistic about how long it will take to re-enter the work force

Sources: Wharton Center for Leadership and Change, the Forte Foundation

CHANGING FOCUS

A survey of women returning to work after raising families found many shifted professional roles:

Accepted comparable or lower-level job: 83 percent

Changed industries: 61 percent

Changed functional role: 54 percent

Became self-employed: 45 percent

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 10:35am

"I'm not slamming you for putting your relationship with your nanny ahead of your commitment to work (although, don't you really mean your relationship with your kids?)"


No, I meant my nanny.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 10:37am
I think you're right.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 10:40am

LOL...must...obfuscate.....LOL....


Would I think of myself as equal to DH if he and I couldn't do the same major things - earn money and take care of the children - to about the same degree of competence?

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 10:44am
Some people who sah believe it helps them raise their children better and stay home for that reason, not just because it makes them happy. Even if they don't make any money or it hurts their careers, they feel it's worth it in the long run because it fits into their long-term goal of raising their children well. How is that different from your belief that continuing to woh ft will "hopefully boost your shot" at your long-term goal of getting the dept head position, and your feeling that it's worth it even if your salary gets eaten up in taxes and childcare?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 10:47am

"Please define the roles that you are speaking about, as I requested before."

Do you think that SAHM's are equal to WOHD's/WAHD's?

Do you think that mother's need to WOH/WAH in order to be considered equal to WOHD's/WAHD's?

Do you think a mother's WOH/WAH status is required in order to be considered equal to WOHD's/WAHD's?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 11:00am
So "commitment" in the parenting arena to you is believing you're doing what's best in terms of raising your children?

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 11:04am

<>


Equal in what way?


<>


Equal in what way?


<>


Equal in what way?


Perhaps if you defined the roles that you are asking me to consider equal or not equal, I might have a better response for you but until then I have no basis for discussion.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 11:05am

Why is it apples and oranges? You think someone who sah for 6 years wouldn't stay very long in any job. I'm in my third year at my job with no plans to leave, so you're wrong. I would actually be less likely than the average person to leave quickly precisely because I *do* have a gap in my resume. I'm not looking for another gap.

I didn't say there was no training for my position. We do train new teachers, and there's definitely a learning curve the first few years. The hiring process is also quite time-consuming for my boss and the others on our team, since current faculty do group interviews of the best candidates, who are also required to teach a mock class and grade a sample paper. Perhaps you have a hard time finding good candidates at your office (I can't imagine why, as there's a glut of lawyers these days), but at the university it's very competitive, so there would be no reason to hire someone you think isn't going to stay. If you're going to be a dept head someday, you might want to rethink some of your preconceptions about hiring.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 11:10am

"Yesterday you had already decided my position on all of these,"

I think I have a fairly good idea where you stand with regard to the questions I've posed to you (which are the very same questions that I posed to you yesterday btw).

I simply thought that outright asking you where you stand would be the polite thing to do :)

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 11:10am

No, but neither are the ft legal writing faculty. They have five-year contracts. My boss is the only one on tenure track. These jobs are very competitive, as I mentioned, so all our teachers have pretty impressive credentials. Funny how all these high-achievers just lack your ambition. ;)

And just how long would you penalize these sahms?

Pages