Hitting the "Mommy Wall"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Hitting the "Mommy Wall"
1585
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 11:19am

I am surprised that this actually comes as a surprise to women trying to re-enter the workforce after taking time off to SAH. *Anyone* taking a not-so-brief hiatus from their career should expect the same treatment IMO . . . you're not going to be able to pick up right where you left off.

BTW - "hi" everyone! I've missed it here! :)

Women raise kids, lose careers

By TENISHA MERCER
THE DETROIT NEWS

Veronica Golubovic spent more than 20 years on the runways of Paris, Italy and New York as a designer for some of the most powerful names in fashion -- Yves Saint Laurent, Donna Karan and Perry Ellis.

But it was a three-year gap on her resume -- the hiatus she took after the births of her two children -- that garnered the most attention from prospective employers four years ago when Golubovic tried to resume her career.

She hasn't forgotten one recruiter's look of discomfort when she explained she was a stay-at-home mom. Or the way a top official at a retailer dismissed her during an interview with, "Oh, so now you don't know if you want to be a stay-at-home mommy."

"I came here thinking I've done so much, but it was very difficult," said Golubovic, 45, who eventually opened a designer clothing store in Birmingham, Mich., earlier this year. "I didn't think people would be hung up on it, but it was shocking and surprising. I couldn't believe their reactions."

Thirty years after women began joining the work force in large numbers, many are hitting the "mommy wall" when they try to return to work after having children.

They find it difficult -- if not impossible -- to return to the same positions they left, according to a recent study by the Forte Foundation in New York and the Wharton Center for Leadership and Change at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.

Unprepared for the obstacles they face on their return, many opt out of traditional corporate jobs and move to smaller companies. Experts dub the trend the "female brain drain" and say the exodus is coming just as businesses need talented, experienced workers to fill the gap as baby boomers prepare to retire en masse, leaving the biggest labor shortage in history in their wake.

"This is a defining issue for women," said Monica McGrath, an assistant professor at Wharton, who spearheaded the study. "Women who leave as vice presidents are not coming back as vice presidents. Now is not the time for corporations to squander billions of dollars in talent and enthusiasm at their fingertips. This is a talent pool that organizations need. We have a voice at the table, and I would hate to see us lose that."

The study found that half of working mothers who returned to work felt discouraged by their employer. Eighty-three percent ended up accepting a comparable or lower-level position, while 61 percent changed industries. About 45 percent of the women surveyed started their own businesses, and 59 percent went to work at smaller companies. The study is based on interviews with 200 women, most of them with MBA degrees.

The results add more fuel to the debate about whether and how women can blend careers and family. Even as women are graduating from law, business and medical schools at almost the same rates as men, they find their careers shifting in very different directions from their male colleagues once they have children.

"They want to spend time with their children, and it can be very time-consuming," said New York-based Cindy Swensen, who coaches executive women on how to return to work after having children. "Volunteering at the bake sale is probably not going to help you re-enter the work force."

It's a strange phenomenon for a generation of women who were raised to break down barriers while "having it all" -- even if that meant delaying or postponing plans to have children to focus on their careers.

"We hear very few stories of people just stepping back in where they left off," said Joanne Brundage, executive director of Mothers & More, a Chicago-area support group for working women who postpone their careers to have children.

"Clearly, there is a price to be paid for not staying full-time, full-force in most professions," Brundage said. "I think women who are becoming mothers now have a different set of priorities than women did 15 to 20 years ago. Unfortunately, the message may change, but the environment stays the same."

It's a message Cynthia Aks wasn't prepared for. The first female surgeon to graduate from the residency program at Oakland General Hospital in Madison Heights, Mich., in 1990, Aks battled her share of discrimination from colleagues who didn't care to work with women surgeons, she said.

But after Aks, an emergency room surgeon, decided to have a family in her late 30s, she found it tough to regain the solid career footing she had before her triplets were born nearly 13 years ago. Forced to take seven months off for pregnancy complications, her contract was not renewed, she said, because the hospital didn't know how to deal with a female surgeon with children.

Aks resumed her career as a specialty surgeon, but at a huge cost: Her salary plummeted 60 percent.

"The perception is that you cannot juggle multiple hats effectively," said Aks, 49, who now owns a medical practice in Southgate, Mich. "I believe it's challenging, but you can. You can have high aspirations, be successful, have a family and still be involved. It's not equal for women, and I don't think it ever will be."

Southfield, Mich.-based accounting firm Plante & Moran offers tailored work arrangements such as seasonal work, telecommuting and contract employment to retain working mothers. The firm offers the options to management only.

"We want to accommodate people and their schedules," said Bill Bufe, partner and human resources director at the accounting firm. "We've had people who wanted to leave, but we wouldn't let them. We made things much more flexible for them and allowed them to continue to keep their toe in the water here and do what they needed to do in their family."

CHANGING FOCUS WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

Tips for preparing to return to work:

Create a "re-entry" plan with specific goals

Foster a network for support while away from the work force

Volunteer while away and make sure that experience can be framed in business terms when you want to go back to work

Stay connected to colleagues

Maintain professional licenses and memberships and attend continuing education courses

Take classes to refresh knowledge and skills

Stay informed about the business implications of global and economic changes in your field

Secure contract work while away

Be realistic about how long it will take to re-enter the work force

Sources: Wharton Center for Leadership and Change, the Forte Foundation

CHANGING FOCUS

A survey of women returning to work after raising families found many shifted professional roles:

Accepted comparable or lower-level job: 83 percent

Changed industries: 61 percent

Changed functional role: 54 percent

Became self-employed: 45 percent

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 3:15pm
Equal in value does not have to mean equal in content?
Mondo Mom

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 3:28pm

Do you think that SAHM's are equal to WOHD's/WAHD's?
--------------------------------
That question is poorly worded, in my opinion - it

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 3:28pm

Exactly. Then why in the world does a subordinate's homelife matter to you so much? I know you couldn't care less what a returning-to-work sahd does on his one day off. If he plays golf on his day off, I can't believe you'd give a rat's patoot.

Color it anyway you'd like but your posts are clear that your workplace bias against the returning-to-work sahp is exclusive to females. Sad, really. You've heralded yourself the feminist by eschewing the sahm lifestyle saying you need much more mind-feeding than that. The irony is you are the one feverishly protecting the glass ceiling and marked wage disparity the feminists tried so hard decades ago to overcome. (I think they've given up. No surprise there.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 3:31pm
I don't know a single SAHD, rtw or otherwise.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 3:34pm

You make me laugh. You refuse to answer any of my questions in this thread from the past day or 2, or to otherwise respond to any of my posts. When I raise relevant questions about the glass ceiling on a SAH/WOH Debate board, you refuse to discuss it.

But I mention my DH once, and you're all over me with questions reviving debates settled weeks earlier!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 3:35pm

With all due respect, we kind of have the same general thoughts at my company.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 3:47pm

Water cooler small talk. It would not be unlawful to ask these things at all, IMO - a judge would have to decide because it may be borderline discriminatory. But no employer has ever even cared enough to ask these things of me! There's an element of envy here, masked as "lack of ambition" and though no one is willing to discuss it, I do believe it is part of the reason women will never get ahead in the workplace.

When I worked in 2 different law firms, I worked for 1 female partner and 1 male partner. I cannot begin to tell you the difference and improvement in working for the man. What PNJ is discussing here unfortunately does go on in the workplace. Until it stops and women treat each other like the men treat each other - mostly with indifference to their homelives and manicure schedules - women in lawyering may have to pay the price.

Surprisingly, PNJ's mentor does not share PNJ's sentiments. Perhaps there is hope for improvement in the workplace.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 3:52pm

Again, you didn't answer my question. So, I guess that and the rest of my post are accurate?

Nor did you address the sahd and golf Fridays part either. Your posts here to me and Mom3401 have been irrelevant tangents which is a shame because for me, this goes to the heart of the more interesting parts of the sah/woh debate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 4:02pm

Tell you what, LTB, I wasn't ignoring you on purpose.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 4:02pm

I'm not sure I understand you. You wah and you - more than most - are judged mostly on your work product and not your manicure schedule or how you use your free time; no one at your employer could even know how you spend your free time. So long as your work product is acceptable to your employer, that's all that matters. That's where PNJ and I disagree - she apparently gets bothered by what women do with their free time and their home lives.

For instance, have you been penalized and denied raises or promotions because your workday has been interrupted on many occasions by the contractors (the hot-looking ones!) you've had working on your house?

<> Exactly - your boss doesn't care to hear about how you'd like to maintain a balance. It's none of his business and frankly, it has nothing to do with your work product.

(And about part-time work. PNJ is the one who brought that up to divert the focus of the debate and avoid questions. Up to that point, we had been discussing the returning-to-work sahm. I don't buy any of the arguments about lack of ambition. I would have preferred if my questions about the glass ceiling could have generated more discussion. Oh, well.)

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