Hitting the "Mommy Wall"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Hitting the "Mommy Wall"
1585
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 11:19am

I am surprised that this actually comes as a surprise to women trying to re-enter the workforce after taking time off to SAH. *Anyone* taking a not-so-brief hiatus from their career should expect the same treatment IMO . . . you're not going to be able to pick up right where you left off.

BTW - "hi" everyone! I've missed it here! :)

Women raise kids, lose careers

By TENISHA MERCER
THE DETROIT NEWS

Veronica Golubovic spent more than 20 years on the runways of Paris, Italy and New York as a designer for some of the most powerful names in fashion -- Yves Saint Laurent, Donna Karan and Perry Ellis.

But it was a three-year gap on her resume -- the hiatus she took after the births of her two children -- that garnered the most attention from prospective employers four years ago when Golubovic tried to resume her career.

She hasn't forgotten one recruiter's look of discomfort when she explained she was a stay-at-home mom. Or the way a top official at a retailer dismissed her during an interview with, "Oh, so now you don't know if you want to be a stay-at-home mommy."

"I came here thinking I've done so much, but it was very difficult," said Golubovic, 45, who eventually opened a designer clothing store in Birmingham, Mich., earlier this year. "I didn't think people would be hung up on it, but it was shocking and surprising. I couldn't believe their reactions."

Thirty years after women began joining the work force in large numbers, many are hitting the "mommy wall" when they try to return to work after having children.

They find it difficult -- if not impossible -- to return to the same positions they left, according to a recent study by the Forte Foundation in New York and the Wharton Center for Leadership and Change at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.

Unprepared for the obstacles they face on their return, many opt out of traditional corporate jobs and move to smaller companies. Experts dub the trend the "female brain drain" and say the exodus is coming just as businesses need talented, experienced workers to fill the gap as baby boomers prepare to retire en masse, leaving the biggest labor shortage in history in their wake.

"This is a defining issue for women," said Monica McGrath, an assistant professor at Wharton, who spearheaded the study. "Women who leave as vice presidents are not coming back as vice presidents. Now is not the time for corporations to squander billions of dollars in talent and enthusiasm at their fingertips. This is a talent pool that organizations need. We have a voice at the table, and I would hate to see us lose that."

The study found that half of working mothers who returned to work felt discouraged by their employer. Eighty-three percent ended up accepting a comparable or lower-level position, while 61 percent changed industries. About 45 percent of the women surveyed started their own businesses, and 59 percent went to work at smaller companies. The study is based on interviews with 200 women, most of them with MBA degrees.

The results add more fuel to the debate about whether and how women can blend careers and family. Even as women are graduating from law, business and medical schools at almost the same rates as men, they find their careers shifting in very different directions from their male colleagues once they have children.

"They want to spend time with their children, and it can be very time-consuming," said New York-based Cindy Swensen, who coaches executive women on how to return to work after having children. "Volunteering at the bake sale is probably not going to help you re-enter the work force."

It's a strange phenomenon for a generation of women who were raised to break down barriers while "having it all" -- even if that meant delaying or postponing plans to have children to focus on their careers.

"We hear very few stories of people just stepping back in where they left off," said Joanne Brundage, executive director of Mothers & More, a Chicago-area support group for working women who postpone their careers to have children.

"Clearly, there is a price to be paid for not staying full-time, full-force in most professions," Brundage said. "I think women who are becoming mothers now have a different set of priorities than women did 15 to 20 years ago. Unfortunately, the message may change, but the environment stays the same."

It's a message Cynthia Aks wasn't prepared for. The first female surgeon to graduate from the residency program at Oakland General Hospital in Madison Heights, Mich., in 1990, Aks battled her share of discrimination from colleagues who didn't care to work with women surgeons, she said.

But after Aks, an emergency room surgeon, decided to have a family in her late 30s, she found it tough to regain the solid career footing she had before her triplets were born nearly 13 years ago. Forced to take seven months off for pregnancy complications, her contract was not renewed, she said, because the hospital didn't know how to deal with a female surgeon with children.

Aks resumed her career as a specialty surgeon, but at a huge cost: Her salary plummeted 60 percent.

"The perception is that you cannot juggle multiple hats effectively," said Aks, 49, who now owns a medical practice in Southgate, Mich. "I believe it's challenging, but you can. You can have high aspirations, be successful, have a family and still be involved. It's not equal for women, and I don't think it ever will be."

Southfield, Mich.-based accounting firm Plante & Moran offers tailored work arrangements such as seasonal work, telecommuting and contract employment to retain working mothers. The firm offers the options to management only.

"We want to accommodate people and their schedules," said Bill Bufe, partner and human resources director at the accounting firm. "We've had people who wanted to leave, but we wouldn't let them. We made things much more flexible for them and allowed them to continue to keep their toe in the water here and do what they needed to do in their family."

CHANGING FOCUS WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

Tips for preparing to return to work:

Create a "re-entry" plan with specific goals

Foster a network for support while away from the work force

Volunteer while away and make sure that experience can be framed in business terms when you want to go back to work

Stay connected to colleagues

Maintain professional licenses and memberships and attend continuing education courses

Take classes to refresh knowledge and skills

Stay informed about the business implications of global and economic changes in your field

Secure contract work while away

Be realistic about how long it will take to re-enter the work force

Sources: Wharton Center for Leadership and Change, the Forte Foundation

CHANGING FOCUS

A survey of women returning to work after raising families found many shifted professional roles:

Accepted comparable or lower-level job: 83 percent

Changed industries: 61 percent

Changed functional role: 54 percent

Became self-employed: 45 percent

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 4:26pm

You have lost your own posts but you expect me to remember threads from months ago?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 4:29pm

Your failure to answer the questions speaks volumes, as do your diversionary tactics.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 4:36pm

"you need to define what is equal."

See post 870.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 4:38pm

Really,

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 4:39pm

<>

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 4:40pm

See post 875


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 5:09pm

"All of those questions have either been answered by me(numerous ones)"

Which one is it "numerous ones" or "all"?

"you have decided my answers (post 703)"

Just for the record, here is post 703, in case we need it for future reference.

BTW, why do you view a SAHM who is being supported by her husband as being a negative, selfish, irresponsible, unambitious, etc. option? Don't you think this is a fairly prejudiced, anti-feminist, militant WOHM, stance on your part? Do you really think families shouldn't have a variety of options to choose from? If so, why?

As far as I'm concerned, this whole debate is primarily about choice(s). What is this debate primarily about for you? Defending only the choices of WOHM's through any and all means including but not limited to: prejudice, personal bias, perpetuating negative stereotypes and/or assumptions, upholding blatantly anti-feminist as well as militant WOHM ideals, etc. ? Are these tactics and ideals the sort of thing you want your children to grow up learning about and potentially pertpetuating themselves?

Is there something inherently wrong with a husband being supportive/providing support for a SAHM if that is what they have chosen to do and/or how they have chosen to arrange their family? If so, you you please explain just what is that makes it inherently wrong? Weren't you yourself a SAHM for a period of time? Did you sponge off of your dh? Did your family barely scrape by? Did they go without necessities such as: food, shelter, clothing, health insurance, etc? Please elaborate.

I guess I'm just trying to understand where your negative stereotypes, assumptions, personal bias, prejudiced, anti-feminist, militant WOHM views derive from. Again, could you please elaborate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2004
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 5:19pm

My normal work hours are 6:00-2:30. I have technology to thank for that. I'm only a page/phone call away. Even if I worked the normal 7:30-4:00 shift, the afternoon techs have to page/call me if they have issues anyway. I just have a time on the day shift where I do business by phone.

Fortunately, when a customer needs a report for a 9:00 meeting, they don't care if I write it at 5:00 PM the night before or 5:00 AM the day of the meeting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 5:25pm

"Really, I'm sorry you feel that way. I have answered all of those questions"

No, you haven't answered all of the questions. BTW, here they are again :)

Do you think that SAHM's are equal to WOHD's/WAHD's?"

Do you think that mother's need to WOH/WAH in order to be considered equal to WOHD's/WAHD's?

Do you think a mother's WOH/WAH status is required in order to be considered equal to WOHD's/WAHD's?

Do you view a SAHM who is being supported by her husband as being a negative, selfish, irresponsible, unambitious, etc. option?

Would you consider someone who did hold such a stance to be prejudiced, anti-feminist, and militant?

Do you think families should have a variety of options to choose from?

Do you consider both WOHP's/WAHP's and SAHP's to be equally important? Especially, with regard to their respective roles/the work that they do?

Do you think there is something inherently wrong with a SAHM who makes use of the family's personal funds to: get her Master's degree, self publish a book, record a cd, etc?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 5:34pm

"Perhaps if you defined the roles that you are asking me to consider equal or not equal and now whatever value you are asking is equal, I might have a better response for you."

Certainly!

A SAHM is a stay at home mom.

A WOHM is a mom who works out of the home.

A WAHM is a mom who works at home.

A SAHD is a stay at home dad.

A WOHD is a dad who works out of the home.

A WAHD is a dad who workd at home.

With that said, do you think that SAHM's, WOHM's, WAHM's, SAHD's, WOHD's, WAHD's are equal as in equivilent/having the same value?

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