Hitting the "Mommy Wall"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Hitting the "Mommy Wall"
1585
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 11:19am

I am surprised that this actually comes as a surprise to women trying to re-enter the workforce after taking time off to SAH. *Anyone* taking a not-so-brief hiatus from their career should expect the same treatment IMO . . . you're not going to be able to pick up right where you left off.

BTW - "hi" everyone! I've missed it here! :)

Women raise kids, lose careers

By TENISHA MERCER
THE DETROIT NEWS

Veronica Golubovic spent more than 20 years on the runways of Paris, Italy and New York as a designer for some of the most powerful names in fashion -- Yves Saint Laurent, Donna Karan and Perry Ellis.

But it was a three-year gap on her resume -- the hiatus she took after the births of her two children -- that garnered the most attention from prospective employers four years ago when Golubovic tried to resume her career.

She hasn't forgotten one recruiter's look of discomfort when she explained she was a stay-at-home mom. Or the way a top official at a retailer dismissed her during an interview with, "Oh, so now you don't know if you want to be a stay-at-home mommy."

"I came here thinking I've done so much, but it was very difficult," said Golubovic, 45, who eventually opened a designer clothing store in Birmingham, Mich., earlier this year. "I didn't think people would be hung up on it, but it was shocking and surprising. I couldn't believe their reactions."

Thirty years after women began joining the work force in large numbers, many are hitting the "mommy wall" when they try to return to work after having children.

They find it difficult -- if not impossible -- to return to the same positions they left, according to a recent study by the Forte Foundation in New York and the Wharton Center for Leadership and Change at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania.

Unprepared for the obstacles they face on their return, many opt out of traditional corporate jobs and move to smaller companies. Experts dub the trend the "female brain drain" and say the exodus is coming just as businesses need talented, experienced workers to fill the gap as baby boomers prepare to retire en masse, leaving the biggest labor shortage in history in their wake.

"This is a defining issue for women," said Monica McGrath, an assistant professor at Wharton, who spearheaded the study. "Women who leave as vice presidents are not coming back as vice presidents. Now is not the time for corporations to squander billions of dollars in talent and enthusiasm at their fingertips. This is a talent pool that organizations need. We have a voice at the table, and I would hate to see us lose that."

The study found that half of working mothers who returned to work felt discouraged by their employer. Eighty-three percent ended up accepting a comparable or lower-level position, while 61 percent changed industries. About 45 percent of the women surveyed started their own businesses, and 59 percent went to work at smaller companies. The study is based on interviews with 200 women, most of them with MBA degrees.

The results add more fuel to the debate about whether and how women can blend careers and family. Even as women are graduating from law, business and medical schools at almost the same rates as men, they find their careers shifting in very different directions from their male colleagues once they have children.

"They want to spend time with their children, and it can be very time-consuming," said New York-based Cindy Swensen, who coaches executive women on how to return to work after having children. "Volunteering at the bake sale is probably not going to help you re-enter the work force."

It's a strange phenomenon for a generation of women who were raised to break down barriers while "having it all" -- even if that meant delaying or postponing plans to have children to focus on their careers.

"We hear very few stories of people just stepping back in where they left off," said Joanne Brundage, executive director of Mothers & More, a Chicago-area support group for working women who postpone their careers to have children.

"Clearly, there is a price to be paid for not staying full-time, full-force in most professions," Brundage said. "I think women who are becoming mothers now have a different set of priorities than women did 15 to 20 years ago. Unfortunately, the message may change, but the environment stays the same."

It's a message Cynthia Aks wasn't prepared for. The first female surgeon to graduate from the residency program at Oakland General Hospital in Madison Heights, Mich., in 1990, Aks battled her share of discrimination from colleagues who didn't care to work with women surgeons, she said.

But after Aks, an emergency room surgeon, decided to have a family in her late 30s, she found it tough to regain the solid career footing she had before her triplets were born nearly 13 years ago. Forced to take seven months off for pregnancy complications, her contract was not renewed, she said, because the hospital didn't know how to deal with a female surgeon with children.

Aks resumed her career as a specialty surgeon, but at a huge cost: Her salary plummeted 60 percent.

"The perception is that you cannot juggle multiple hats effectively," said Aks, 49, who now owns a medical practice in Southgate, Mich. "I believe it's challenging, but you can. You can have high aspirations, be successful, have a family and still be involved. It's not equal for women, and I don't think it ever will be."

Southfield, Mich.-based accounting firm Plante & Moran offers tailored work arrangements such as seasonal work, telecommuting and contract employment to retain working mothers. The firm offers the options to management only.

"We want to accommodate people and their schedules," said Bill Bufe, partner and human resources director at the accounting firm. "We've had people who wanted to leave, but we wouldn't let them. We made things much more flexible for them and allowed them to continue to keep their toe in the water here and do what they needed to do in their family."

CHANGING FOCUS WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

Tips for preparing to return to work:

Create a "re-entry" plan with specific goals

Foster a network for support while away from the work force

Volunteer while away and make sure that experience can be framed in business terms when you want to go back to work

Stay connected to colleagues

Maintain professional licenses and memberships and attend continuing education courses

Take classes to refresh knowledge and skills

Stay informed about the business implications of global and economic changes in your field

Secure contract work while away

Be realistic about how long it will take to re-enter the work force

Sources: Wharton Center for Leadership and Change, the Forte Foundation

CHANGING FOCUS

A survey of women returning to work after raising families found many shifted professional roles:

Accepted comparable or lower-level job: 83 percent

Changed industries: 61 percent

Changed functional role: 54 percent

Became self-employed: 45 percent

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2005
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 10:40am

who are you to judge where *others* talents should lie?

who are you to judge that a sahm life is some *cake*?

you've taken me on it several times pnj.....why not answer it yourself? i don't think you are envious at all of a sahm (like another poster seemed to insinuate). i do however think that you think your role is over and above all else.....that somehow (we all) should get advanced degrees, make a name for ourselves and make lots of money just like you. i disagree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2005
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 10:44am

lol....diet coke spit on the 'puter!

i was thinking the same thing: i mean she didn't pick up on the joke nor was the post even addressed to her....but she still felt obligated to respond?

maybe i'm wrong tinderbox, but that does seem rather militant imo!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2005
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 10:48am

oh! my! gosh!

see.....perfect example. what the heck is so wrong with 45K a year if (you) can make it work? would you believe that when my dh made 35K years ago, we were living just fine in an indianapolis 3BR bungalow with only about 900 SF?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 11:04am

Nothing is wrong with it....unless, like the poster Felicia replied to, one is arguing that $150K/year is peanuts.

Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 11:06am

I'm not sure I understand your debateable points, but let me give it my best college try.


"who are you to judge where *others* talents should lie?"


I don't have any preconceived notions of whether other people's talents should lie.

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Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 11:09am
What type of women? Somebody who doesn't have a lot of experience before quitting to sah and/or isn't particularly good at what she does. What types of jobs? Any job that requires you to keep your skills very current--where things are changing quickly, and your skills will quickly become outdated. Any job that requires having a client base. Probably others I'm not thinking of.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 11:15am
There's only something "wrong" with supporting a family on 45K if the other spouse could work INSTEAD and make substantially more, assuming the family's goals are to (1) have a SAHP (not just a SAHM) and (2) maximize the income that can be earned by the other parent.

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Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 11:23am

Heavens, no. I never argued before the Supreme Court! Nothing on that scale. I was a corporate lawyer, not a litigator, and I was in private practice with a big firm for 11 years.

The ideal candidate for us would be somebody who has really good academic credentials, private practice experience (or govt trial experience), teaching experience and a demonstrated interest in legal writing. I had all but the teaching experience (although I was a TA when I was in law school, but that was so long ago, it probably didn't help).

Teaching legal writing doesn't require you to have clients or be extremely versed in a specialty. That's why the gap didn't really matter. If I wanted to go back to private practice, like you, I'd have to completely start over. I don't have any clients, and I haven't kept up in my practice area. I have no desire to do that.

Are you thinking you'll go back to litigation some day?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2005
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 11:25am

>>the necessary talents to success in that position in my workplace. Do you disagree with that?<<
tell me then, would you hire a former sahm who chose to sacrifice 6 years of her career for her children and wants to now re-enter the workforce.....and let's just pretend she is just as capable, experienced and educated as the wohm who has not chosen such detour in her career?

>>I do think some SAHMs have more of a cake life than some WOHMs. Don't you?<<
no, i don't separate one sahm from another....no more than you like the separation of part time mom and full time mom.

>>Why do you think that just because I have strong beliefs about what's best for me and my family, that I think everyone is just like me<<
i think your strong beliefs and ambition are great.....for you. but everytime you hear anything to the contrary related to why a sahm choses the path she does on this board, it's all secondary, artificial or of littleness......oh i forgot. this is a debate board!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2005
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 11:35am

omg..i can't believe the amount of attorneys (both woh and sah) on this board....does ivillage solicit you at law school or do you earn the certificate of ivillage posting when you pass the bar, something like that?..........geesh. cool.

i knew i'd learn something from this board. :)

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