How did you do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
How did you do it?
614
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 2:32pm
I am about to turn 23 and I want to start trying to have kids when I turn 25. I want to be a stay at home mom. I LOVE kids! I could not be away from my baby. But, heres the problem. How do I afford it? 2 car payments a house payment, and 1 credit card payment! And of course all the other monthly bills. My husband and I both have college degrees but he does make more than me. We both want me to stay at home. How did ya'll switch from 2 incomes to 1? Is everyone just rich? I dont get it! Please help! I know I need to start preparing financially for this now!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 9:14am

Dylan hasn't been sick any oftener that his sisters and he's the one who has been in full time daycare and at school. The girls were homeschooled. I'm just reporting what the newspaper article said. And I'll add in that is the observation by my dcp as well. I do also agree that some kids just don't get sick that often and other kids get sick no matter what.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-1998
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 11:24am
Chiming in from TX to say my property taxes last year were $6200!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 11:51am
first of all im not teaching hate. im teaching them reality. and yes everybody is the same everybody poops and stinks. black white fat thin. were all humans. no not every great man in history was poor but alot were. you check your history. and no my children are not angels there kids. they do kid things. but they dont refuse to use the bathroom in someone house because it is to small. yes that came out of my nephew's mouth. my sister in law was an alright person untill she inherited money and now she walks around like she royality. no i dont think luxeries are a sin if you can afford them the brats im talking about are the woman who cant live with out the stuff. have you ever heard of glutteny god was not just taking about food. the meak shall inherite the earth. do you know why jesus said that because when your life is obsessed with material pocessions there is no room for love and faith. and no i dont go to church because everytime i have i hear the woman talking about my clothes. "can you believe she wore that to church" because i havnt bought clothes in 8 years and they are tight after 3 children. what hypocrites they all are. in church no doubt. so i choose to read the bible to my children myself. i guess there in church thanking god they have money. my husband was driving down the road one day and a lexus pulled out of the church parking lot in front of him and my husband slammed on brakes a minute later the church going lexus driver flipped my husband the bird. wonderful aint it. no my children are no angels far from it my son is severe adhd, then i have a daughter a year behind them. my last child was born with a birth defect. so if im stressed its not from being broke. if you are lucky enough to have someone in the family watch them thats great. but my mom works at a day care and my father is in a wheel chair with MS. so no i dont have no one but a day care and i know what kind of people that they sometimes hire out of desperation cause trust me they don't pay crap. were all not blessed with rich parents. what in the world is wrong with painting your own nails. after the tsunami everyone said what kind generous people they were over there. and guess what they are poor. if that had happened here. looting and stealing and stabbing in the back would have happened. do you know that we have the highest standerd of living than anyone in they world. and still we are not satisfied. thats what im talking about. yes my kids told me that they want me at home cause i asked them did they want me to go back to work. they love me here. i cook they home cooked meals which by the way are delicious. no im not hateful. im frustrated not with my sitution but with people keeping up with the jones. i find nothing wrong with buying nice things but when your buying nice things to outdo your neighbor thats the wrong reason. like i said my kids arent angels but they are generous i may not be rich but im wealthy beyond reason. i have a husband who works hard everyday to provide a house for his family and he loves me cause i am caring and a good mother. if my post offended you i guess it hit close to home huh and before anyone says im jealous im not im the friend that prays for good things to happen to people. heck i even pray for my sister in law that she will learn to be happy with what she has and not wanting what someone else has. i wouldn't trade my life with anyone for all the money in the world. im happy being me and i love my broke husband cause he is rich in kindness and compassion. were the people that hold doors open for other people.
Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 11:52am

It makes you sick that other people make more money than you?

If you want to SAH and you are happy wearing old clothes and never getting a break from household chores that is just fine. Nobody will tell you that you are wrong for wanting that. The BEAUTY of living in America is that we all get to choose what we want. And to me choice is the ultimate luxury.

But I would never want to live that way. It would be far to stressful for me to know that nothing could ever go wrong. To be home all day without a car would be difficult, if not impossible around here.

I don't understand why you feel that all people should limit themselves to enough material possessions to just get through life? It is no sin to have a little more living space, nice clothes and a new car.

Jenna

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 11:59am

You say that "just because you can afford the best in life doesnt make you a good parent" well likewise, just because you are struggling THAT does not make you a good parent either. And having money does not make you a bad parent.

I question any parent who SAH becuase their kids like it that way. My kids like having me around also. I work when they are in school and pick them up every afternoon. But I don't work my schedule around what they want just because they want it. They are 6, 8, and 11 and they are far to young to be dictating the structure of our family. That is something dh and I will decide for many years to come.

I don't presume to know what is best for other families. I don't think you should either.

Jenna

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 12:05pm

You write "look in history the greastest men of all time came from meager beginnings. poor and proud" What would you make of Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Winston Churchill? They came from wealthy famiies. I am sure there are more, but these 2 came to mind quickly.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 12:08pm
i have nothing against working mothers heck i respect them. i have a problem with people who have everything and still are not happy. trust me when you die no one will put on the tombstone she worked for manicures please. if you work to pay the bills thats great if you work to buy yourself nice things that is great to. i have a problem with people thinking they need the big house and all the stuff that goes with it. yes i have a 3 years old car not for status but for reliability. my house is 1365 sq feet and trust me their is plenty of room in my house. all i was saying is im sick of people thinking they need luxeries to live a good life. i have a good life. im beautiful by myself i dont need special treatment to feel that way. or designer clothes to look good. im confidant in my generic clothes and bobo shoes, and guess what i still can turn heads with out all the flashy stuff. i just think if your not willing to give up something for yourself for your kids than your not much of a mother. i would let myself starve to let my kids eat if the sitution came down to it. when does it end when do you stop wanting bigger and better whats wrong with loving your life for the moment your in instead waiting for your next shopping spree and dream vacation. pllllllllllleeeeeeeaaaaaaasssee.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 12:22pm

So is this a rant about mothers who work or people who enjoy material possessions? Because I can show you a number of SAHMs who have "McMansions," designer clothes, and manicured nails.

mom_writer

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 12:28pm
no it has nothing to do with working or not it has to do with selfishness. if you give up a 2 income family to be at home with your children than you can expect to sacrafice something. whether it is your sanity or luxuries. i have friends who work and friends who dont some are married some are single. people keeping up with the Jones is stupid buy what makes you and your family happy not to impress your neighbor.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 12:41pm
Happy 6th birthday Joe - was it recent?

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