How did you do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
How did you do it?
614
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 2:32pm
I am about to turn 23 and I want to start trying to have kids when I turn 25. I want to be a stay at home mom. I LOVE kids! I could not be away from my baby. But, heres the problem. How do I afford it? 2 car payments a house payment, and 1 credit card payment! And of course all the other monthly bills. My husband and I both have college degrees but he does make more than me. We both want me to stay at home. How did ya'll switch from 2 incomes to 1? Is everyone just rich? I dont get it! Please help! I know I need to start preparing financially for this now!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 1:27pm
an early post said they didnt want to give up their luxeries and it frustrated me. i have comapassion for poor people and rich people but i cant stand snobs. no not everyone with money is a snob or that poor people cant be snobs. i have known both. im not on a high horse like anouther post said. im frustrated with someone who wants it all and complains when they don't get it. yes martieralistic views is what cause someone to think they are somehow above the law and god. and to answer about not buying clothes for 8 years. i choose to do that so my kids can have better clothes. my boy grows like a weed. im not saying good people cant come from rich homes or bad people from poor homes. there are scum in every walk of life rich poor black white or male or female. i am surronded by snobs in my extended family. and i cant stand it. just because your bank account is bigger than mine doesnt make you better just richer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 1:33pm
yes it does when the only reason you gave was for a selfish reason. genoristy comes from the heart and the only thing you should get from it is the contentment of helping others not to better yourself at tax time
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 1:38pm

Why on earth would you CARE who she gives her things to and why? I mean, I simply cannot imagine being so nosy as to question a friend why she chose to give to a charity. Besides, Salvation Army *also* gives receipts for tax write-offs. Heck for that matter so do churches from tithing. Maybe she didn't have any friends who could use her things in the quantity she was trying to eliminate; I've often found that when I have a large donation to make, none of my friends/family could use it all and sometimes it just easier to make one large, bundled donation to one large organization than to piecemeal things out among a bunch of people.

I personally don't take the tax writeoffs, but i don't think there's anything untoward about people who do.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 1:39pm
The people who benefitted from her generosity don't give a rat's whisker *why* she did it. *Why* should you? That's pretty judgemental. Don't you think there's only one power in this world who is able to judge? If you're such a good Christian, knock off the holier-than-thou judgemental posts. Talk about being a hypocrite.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 1:39pm
I hope you know there are a number of people who have given up the second salary and who aren't sacrificing anything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 1:41pm
I don't see where anyone on this board wants it all and complains they can't get it. You must be confusing this with another board. Why should anyone give up their luxuries if they can afford them? This has nothing to do with kids or SAH/WOH.
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 1:42pm
So what exactly are you learning through the bible? Condemnation? Judgement? Shouldn't it be compassion, acceptance and tolerance?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 1:43pm

Ah, another, if you're a woman and work, you'd just better not be living better than I do or enjoy luxuries I eschew, because if you have a larger income, I'm going to judge you as working for luxuries.

All that faux righteousness because mom_writer has the unmitigated gall to enjoy a pedicure.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 1:45pm
Who are you to decide what the reward should be? Who are you to decide you know what motivated the giving? Are you God that you know the inner workings of her (or anyone else's heart) to be able to state conclusively that the one and ONLY reason for giving was the tax write off? that's a rather arrogant assumption on your part.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 1:46pm

Ok, define luxury. Is the fact that I use expensive liquid soap in the shower a "luxury"? Am I rich and therefore a snob because I hate using the cheapo Ivory bar soap I grew up with?

I also love having freshly ground coffee each morning and don't mind paying for it. I love having a large fenced in yard for my dogs. I love sending my child to private school. I love my new bedroom furniture and my new car. I really do not want to give up those luxuries.

Do these things make me a "bad" person? Or a snob? Will you look at me with my pedicured feet and think I'm living the life of luxury?

mom_writer

Pages