how did you feel before having kids?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2006
how did you feel before having kids?
Sat, 04-07-2012 - 1:18pm

I'm sure this has been discussed in some variety before, I haven't posted in awhile so forgive me if I'm repeating something already discussed!

How did you feel about the whole SAH/WOH issue before you actually had children?

The reason I ask - (I'm a sahm, btw, if that matters!) is the militant view of my IRL, child-free by choice friends. (We're all hovering near 40, it's unlikely they'll change their minds about having kids at this point!)

Anyway - friend (A) is very, very adamant in her view that all mother's should stay home regardless of their situation. Basically, her opinion is that once a woman becomes a mother she should drop out of the work force for good. She thinks that daycare is horrible and can't imagine why anyone would use it. (Actual quote - "it's like buying a new car and letting someone else drive it...why would anyone do that?") Lol.

Friend (B) is the exact opposite. She maintains that she cannot stand women who are independent, intelligent people and then suddenly become "just" a mother. She cannot imagine how anyone in their right mind could "just" stay home, to her, even if she'd chosen to have kids, she wouldn't dream of giving up her career.

I realize these are pretty extreme examples, and I can't help but wonder if either of them would change their position if they actually HAD a kid - did anyone here have a similar opinion at one time?



Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sat, 04-07-2012 - 2:10pm

I am pretty sure I had all kinds of incredibly stupid and rigid opinions about child-rearing back when it was all theoretical. I even managed to continue on for the first few years of dd's life.

After that reality knocked some sense into me, and now I confess that I barely recall, thankfully, all the idiotic convictions I once held.

At this point my basic view is that if everyone survives in reasonably good shape and is reasonably happy for the duration, then it is all good.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sat, 04-07-2012 - 2:05pm