how do i convince my husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
how do i convince my husband
1841
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:09pm
how do i convince my husband to let me at least job-share so i can take care of our 3 month old dd? he grew up with his mom working & all his friend's moms working. we can afford it if we cut back on some things, but he doesn't want to cut back & just doesn't understand someone wanting to be a stay at home mom...it doesn't help mycause that the grandmothers will babysit. i'm so unhappy about having to go back to work...he wants me to work full time 1 more year & just doesn't get it! i feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest every time i hink about it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 08-08-2005 - 2:21pm

Actually, I *would* say that it's her final decision. But I'd also say it's her responsibility to find childcare as she's the one who is deciding to work. (Just as I think it ought to be the person's responsibility to organize the finances to make SAH work as well.) Also I'm not saying that it's *solely* her decision, but that she has the final say. (As would a spouse deciding to WOH.) For example- I SAH, but if I decided to WOH, while I would take my husband's opinions into careful consideration, I would feel it my *final* decision. I would assume it to be my responsibility to organize childcare options since it is something that is required in order for me to follow through with my decision. IMO it's not about SAH or WOH, I couldn't care less either way- if a woman wants to SAH- great. If she wants to WOH- great. It's about who has the final say in the situation and I don't feel that anyone- spouse or no- has the right to *forbid* her to follow through with what she wants to do. Now- if by making either choice she's putting her family through unnecessary hardship it will also be her who will have to deal with the consequences of that choice- even if that means a divorce because her spouse is so much against her decision that he can't deal with the situation. Does that fully answer your question as to my position on this matter?

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 08-08-2005 - 2:23pm

Never said it did. It does however *almost* guarantee the necessity of pumping and bottle feeding unless a woman is *very* lucky to be able to keep her child with her at her place of employment. And like it or not, not every woman responds to a pump. (Or- to clarify- responds adequately to meet her child's nutritional needs.)

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 08-08-2005 - 2:26pm

Depends on the family, their priorities, and what financial situation/s we're talking about. Every family has a different financial 'comfort zone' and some families find some things more important than money. Not making a judgement on whether that's right/wrong/good/bad- just clarifying.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 08-08-2005 - 2:28pm
I would have said (at one time) that I don't respond to a pump.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 08-08-2005 - 2:28pm

Do you take *everything* to be meant in a literal sense or are you just getting nit picky? :)

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 08-08-2005 - 3:06pm

<>


You see planting a vineyard, selling her linens and trading goods much the same as selling online(done in the home)

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 08-08-2005 - 3:14pm
when a posters says that bfeeding doesn't take all day ... and you rebut with "it does in the early stages" ... I'm going to "nitpick" because you are wrong and she was right.

Elaine: "Is it a problem

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-08-2005 - 3:33pm
Oh good grief. You really do think you're all that, don't you? Do your daughter a favor and stop tagging around after her calling every little thing she does "a homeschooling project".
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-08-2005 - 3:35pm
Would you? Because that other post was great fun to read. This whole "everything she does is homeschooling" just annoys me and I am unable to post with the whimsy you've got.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Mon, 08-08-2005 - 3:46pm
I can only hope she stops

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,

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