how do i convince my husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
how do i convince my husband
1841
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:09pm
how do i convince my husband to let me at least job-share so i can take care of our 3 month old dd? he grew up with his mom working & all his friend's moms working. we can afford it if we cut back on some things, but he doesn't want to cut back & just doesn't understand someone wanting to be a stay at home mom...it doesn't help mycause that the grandmothers will babysit. i'm so unhappy about having to go back to work...he wants me to work full time 1 more year & just doesn't get it! i feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest every time i hink about it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 4:32pm
Nope.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 4:47pm

"How is that any different than normal childhood activities being used educationally in a formal schooling system? Don't kids do things such as run around and play in gym class, color in art, dance to the music in whatever music class they have, read books in english etc. etc. etc.?"

Exactly! The only real difference here is that these activities are also done at *home*, on an informal, individualized, child-led basis, rather than just at *school*, on a formal, standardized, child-directed basis. Why is it so difficult to understand that my dd simply thrives in and enjoys *both* environments? Seems fairly straight forward to me.

"Or are you suggesting that the mother is just labelling it homeschooling without undertaking the hands on parental involvement as far as making it educational rather than solely child-led play?"

Just for the record, this is definately not the case :) We both (dh and I) play an very active, hands on role in our dd's homeschooling experiences.

"*confused* Or is it that you don't believe that parents of formally schooled children do anything educational with their children as enhancement to their formal schooling?"

I certainly think they can :)

"Certainly I think we're all confused by the use of the term homeschooling *in addition to* formal schooling as opposed to *instead of*, but that doesn't seem to be what you're saying is annoying here"

No, this doesn't seem to be the case. Btw, we use the word homeschooling because that's what we do. I'm sorry if it offends/bothers people for some reason but we're still going to keep right on doing what we're doing regardless of what others think or how they interpet the situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 4:48pm

"*curious* Did she WOH fulltime? If so how did she manage to 'mostly nurse directly'?"

Yes, she worked ft. She went back to work with each after about 4 months at home, by then her milk supply was very well established and she had good experiences with pumping. Her children were in dc for about 8 hours per day. By 4 months, they had slowed down to eating about every 3 hours during their time in dc (so 2-3 feedings in dc vs. 4-6 feedings minimum at home during the week and 6-9 feedings on the weekend). They both continued to nurse a lot during the evening and a few times at night (both babies co-slept and she was very good at nursing lying down). As they got nearer the 1 year mark, they tended to drink less from bottles and eat more solids in dc while saving up all of their bm drinking for when they were at home and could nurse directly. Considering that they nursed quite frequently when at home up to about age 1.5-2, I'd say they mostly nursed directly.

I've heard that it is very common for children in dc to eat rather less during the dc hours and catch up on nursing in the evenings and at night (especially if they are co-sleeping). I don't have much personal experience with combining nursing and dc since both of mine started dc around the time they were weaning (about 2.5 yo).

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 4:48pm

McDonalds is not the beginning nor end for convenience or even

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 4:50pm
For the record, the reason I find your misuse of the word homeschooling so offensive and annoying is 1)it is a mockery of true homeschooling and 2)it is unbelievably arrogant.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 4:53pm

To insist on the objective superiority of utterly impractical childrearing practices that produce (at best) an incremental benefit to the baby (and in some cases none at all) is self deluded glorification of the mother's role.

As others have said, a mother who clings to these practices against all reason would be well advised to get and enjoy a life of her own.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 4:53pm

"Here is my disagreement with labelling it as homeschooling. Others might have different reasons."

Although you are certainly entitled to disagree all you want, on any basis that you want, at the end of the day, we are going to keep right on doing what we're doing no matter what others think or how they interpret the situation :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 5:03pm
Keep *doing* what you want, but *call* it something other than homeschooling.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 5:07pm
Smokey Robinson (yup, "Tears of a Clown" Smokey Robinson) has a line of frozen soul food entrees that I like (and so does dd!). I think his rice and beans dish is perfectly healthy to pop in the microwave when we've been out all day and dd is starving right now. I came for the musician/food entrepreneur novelty. I stayed for the tasty, healthy food that microwaves in 6 minutes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 5:08pm

Don't worry.


I was not delusional enough to think you would change your ways based on my post. The opinion is worth what you paid for it.


I won't be crying big ole tears when you come back a year from now and say, once again, you are homeschooling.

"Mommy, will you throw away my brother? I don't want him and I don't like him."

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

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