how do i convince my husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
how do i convince my husband
1841
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:09pm
how do i convince my husband to let me at least job-share so i can take care of our 3 month old dd? he grew up with his mom working & all his friend's moms working. we can afford it if we cut back on some things, but he doesn't want to cut back & just doesn't understand someone wanting to be a stay at home mom...it doesn't help mycause that the grandmothers will babysit. i'm so unhappy about having to go back to work...he wants me to work full time 1 more year & just doesn't get it! i feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest every time i hink about it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 7:35am

"What have you got against Christianity?"

In short, I believe it to be a lie. Ultimately, I believe that it is a very effective means of controlling large masses of people through the use of guilt and fear.

BTW, I apologize in advance in that I realize that my opinions on this subject may be somewhat disturbing and unsettling to some people.

Please note that I am not intentionally trying to be hurtful, disrespectful, or offensive.

However, when one asks a question such as this, I must answer it truthfully and honestly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 7:38am

"Surely it is not news to you that a great many people throughout the world believe in the historicity of some or all of the parts of the Biblical narrative that you have mentioned?"

No, it is not news to me. OTOH, surely it is not news to you that a great many people throughout the world *don't* believe in the historicity of some or all of the parts of the Biblical narrative?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 7:55am

***Why is the mother's convenience less important than what is ideal, to you?***

"but in the case of best nutrition and immunologic benefit etc. versus mothers convenience, I'd say that need trumps 'want'- wouldn't you? I try to think of things as 'my children's -needs- come before my 'wants' but my -needs- come before their 'wants'...' And of course, there will be exceptions to almost everything, but generally speaking, that's MHO."

I agree. Indeed 'my children's -needs- come before my 'wants'. And Jorvia thinks it's not about the child at all ;)

***I personally would be bored and not challenged at all if all I did was SAH. I need the intellectual stimulation of WOH.***

"I personally find being with my kids *extremely* intellectually stimulating and rewarding."

As do I.

"University wasn't a big stress for me- I actually enjoyed it."

I enjoyed it as well :)

"But then, I enjoy education in its own right- not necessarily as a means to an end (career) but for personal enrichment. I'm picking my way through to my degree and eventually a Masters, just for the sake of doing it. ;) Some people skydive, I take classes... *chuckle* ;)"

Beautifully stated! Most people think I'm just plain crazy for wanting to get my Masters just for the sake of doing it and/or simply for the education in and of itself! Glad to hear I'm not the only one :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 7:59am

Coming in late, and indefensibly admitting I haven't read the entire thread. (But I have read previous, can I say "similar" debates where your description of homeschooling has been...ummm...questioned!) I just have to say how wonderful it is that you can organize your summer days with some educational activities planned out which are led by your child's whims and curiosities. This summer we have visited arguably educational places (museums, aquariums), but beyond that, I've had little planned. We've had some good mind-feeding days which happen purely by luck, with books being read and puzzles (not 3D unfortunately as I have a 2 yr-old with a demolition fascination) being built, computer games, etc. (At the same time though, we have had a blast this summer.)

But whatever you call it, your DD is well-served in having such a passionate mom. It is your PASSION and love for your child that will carry her far! Even what others here consider controversial parenting choices - baby wearing, no bottles, co-sleeping - can be resolved as secondary to a mothering which is clearly a priority for you and your DH and which I can "see" has yielded a rock-solid bond with your daughter - and that's what it's all about for me too!




Edited 8/10/2005 8:02 am ET ET by tinderbox3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 8:20am

Huh. I'd think Christianity would be right up your alley!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 8:23am

Well, if it's NOT news to you, then why did you post as if you had never heard of the fact that many people believe the Biblical narrative to be true, as in the following exchange:

ME: "Many people believe them to be historical."

YOU: "Historical??? How so? Do you mean historical fiction?"

See, doesn't that seem to imply to the reasonable reader that it's news to you that many people believe the narratives to be historical?

I am also rather confused as to why you would infer that I don't know that many people throughout the world don't believe the narratives to be historical. In fact, I am quite aware of the fact that even many Christians and Jews believe that some or all of the narratives you mention are easiest and best understood in terms of their metaphorical value.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 8:29am

It's all the same thing, since he couldn't stay home alone.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 8:55am

Mothering- appx. 6-8hrs.
WAHM 'stuff'- appx. 6-8hrs. (cleaning, cooking, household maintenance, shopping, financial, etc.)
My 'stuff'- appx. 2hrs. (gym, reading, scrapbooking, writing, nice bubble bath, the boards etc.)
Sleep (ideally 8hrs, not that I get that, but it's pegged as 'sleep time' ;)
That would leave 2hrs for WOH.

Could I cut down on the WOHM stuff to only what absolutely needs to be done to get by? Sure I could- but that's what gives me satisfaction and fulfillment. Could I do the bare minimum and WOH? Absolutely- but I wouldn't want it that way nor would I find any satisfaction in it.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 8:58am

Ouch. Yeah- definately traded off there. Applause and thanks to you though, for being willing to serve. That's a huge thing in and of itself, let alone with a baby.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 9:02am

So, are you saying that your disagreement is with *context* rather than *content*? Because again- much of these things are done in the public school classroom as well as part of the educational curriculum. I still don't see how it's different when done in a homeschooling format. (Or in additional enrichment at home)... Is your contention with the term homeschooling as she's applying it (which I think we're all a bit confused on) or is it with what she's considering to be educational material?

Wytchy

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