how do i convince my husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
how do i convince my husband
1841
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:09pm
how do i convince my husband to let me at least job-share so i can take care of our 3 month old dd? he grew up with his mom working & all his friend's moms working. we can afford it if we cut back on some things, but he doesn't want to cut back & just doesn't understand someone wanting to be a stay at home mom...it doesn't help mycause that the grandmothers will babysit. i'm so unhappy about having to go back to work...he wants me to work full time 1 more year & just doesn't get it! i feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest every time i hink about it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 11:40am

We're doing some remodelling and I'm doing some redecorating and I just enjoy doing alot of cooking/baking etc. That and I'm a bit of a germ-a-phobe. Between my own allergies and the fact that I keep having infections that send me into the hospital (I have lymphedema and recurrent cellulitis infections) so I try to keep the germs at bay- maybe a bit too overzealously, but hey- I can't afford to keep having 2-3 day hospital stays hooked up to an IV so....

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 11:47am

"There is no such thing as a "non-supernatural" God."

Says who LOL?

"You can believe in a flawed and changing god with limited consciousness and specific presense,"

Actually, I believe in a natural (as opposed to flawed) and changing God with no consciouness or specific presense. In fact, I don't view God as being a "being" at all, but rather a natural force, energy, or oneness that is formless, consciousless, and without personality.

"but that god is still supernatural"

No, it isn't still supernatural, but natural.

"and you have no more evidence that your "God" exists than any other "God"."

You are correct. All I have to go on is the beauty, symmetry, and magnificent order and design of natural world. Why would I need a supernatural explanation of the universe when I already have a natural one?

"Which makes all your the-bible-isn't-provable debate simply...hypocritical."

Hmm, you must have me confused with another poster. Yes, I will claim "the *entire* bible-isn't-provable" debate, but as for the debate you're referring to, no.

BTW, the difference between my "Non-Christian" perspective and I "Chrisitan" perspective is this:

As a "Non-Christian" (who believes in a natural and changing God with no consciouness or specific presense) I am perfectly willing to acknowledge that my perspective is simply a "guess" or a "theory" based on my own subjective opinions and experiences. In other words, it's indeed a possibility that I could be completely and entirely wrong.

Do you see the stark difference between my "Non-Christian" natural, changing, subjective God" perspective and a "Christian" supernatural, unchanging, objective God" perspective?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 11:51am

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And you wonder why we say you think your method(s) of parenting are better than others ....

Jay: People are smart, they can handle it.
Kay: A *person* is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 12:49pm

It is in my line of work. And most people make their decisions about whether to return to work or not, whether to breastfeed or not and how long, based on their own situations, not some statistical average.

It's my understanding that extended nursing isn't a common situation among either WOHMs or SAHMs. I haven't checked lately -- it's been years since I had a nursling, but back in my LLL days, the stats were that about 50% of Moms, whether they were working outside the home or not, planned on breastfeeding at the time they birthed. By six months postpartum, about 25% of mothers were still breastfeeding -- and the stats were that slightly more WOHMs than SAHMs were breastfeeding at six months postpartum. By one year, fewer than ten percent still nursing but still almost equal but slightly more SAHMs than WOHMs. My conclusion from all that data is that longterm breastfeeding is possible for almost anyone who wants to continue longterm breastfeeding and who becomes informed about the conditions under which it's most likely to happen. (Usual disclaimer for those who wanted to and couldn't for one reason or another).

People who talk about WOHMs as if the only choice was 50 hours of daycare from age six weeks or SAHM exclusively bug me, because that's really not the only option open to most of us. If it were the only option open to me, I might well have chosen not to return to work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 12:52pm
From what I can gather, you are the only one here who doesn't grasp any distinction between literal/factual and real/true.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 1:43pm

***Then you must be in a state the requires such as most do not.***

I wouldn't say that 'most' do not- many perhaps, but it's a fairly even split between little-no regulation states versus moderate to high regulation states. Also, most of the little-to-no regulation states seem to be in states with lower populations...

***If that was your message then I completely and totally missed it, can you link me to the passage?***

Just follow the thread back. This thread is going on 1500+ posts now and I don't have time to backtrack and pick out which one it was.

***See I disagree....I think homeschooling is much more involved than active parenting and I would say that many many homeschooling parents would agree with me. Which I think is the point and contention in many people's arguments with momofhk calling her active parenting....homeschooling. Maybe my expectations for my children's education is just higher....because I expect much more out of school (home or formal) than just active parenting.***

I suppose I should say that it's not the *only* thing that would constitute homeschooling, but with the addition of other more academic offerings, you could take active parenting, couple it with those academics and there would be no real difference. For example- if Parent A considers a book discussion to be active parenting- that's fine. However, parent B may use that discussion as a part of their homeschooling curriculum. Certainly that act of active parenting/homeschooling doesn't equate to the whole of the experience, but in either event, it's the same thing going on just in different contexts. Make sense? In one case it's 'active parenting', in the other it's an aspect of homeschooling. That was what I was trying to get at.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 1:49pm

One has to take into consideration the ages of the children involved. For me, with a 19mo and a 7mo who require (demand/want) nearly constant attention, it's not possible for me to double up on childcare/domestic work in many cases. I also am working on some ongoing projects that tack on more time to that figure. *shrugs* Just because it doesn't fit into your life doesn't mean that it doesn't make sense in the context of *mine*. :)

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 3:51pm

I think that you are looking at this historical period through modern eyes... First of all, the Proverbs 31 woman isn't at all likely to be a real woman- this is a passage meant to be memorized (given the acrostic composition of the passage) This book i also written to *men*, not to women- meaning that one could gather that it is admonishing men to allow their wives more freedom and trust than they were used to getting at the time. That understood, it was the *rare* woman, the *exception* who would have been employed outside of the home. It was also the situation of the times that women left the authority of their fathers for that of their husbands- and while women had a degree of freedom it was still only under the directive or consent of their husbands that they were able to act/purchase property/work in addition to their domestic duties etc. Of course, much like today, if it was necessary for a woman to work for her family to survive, that would be the reality. (It would also be pretty much limited to the lower classes of the time.)

http://www.bible.org/page.asp?page_id=643
http://www.womenintheancientworld.com/women_in_ancient_rome.htm
http://oncampus.richmond.edu/academics/education/projects/webunits/greecerome/Romeroles1.html
http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/ancient/romans/roman_women_04.shtml
http://www.womeninworldhistory.com/lesson10.html

http://www.forumromanum.org/history/morey25.html

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 3:56pm

Most of them make various crafts out of their homes (which are sold either via consignment or via the internet or in some cases at a few craft shows throughout the year) but I also know two writers. The children are either engaged in independant play, the work is done while the children nap or after they go to bed/ before they wake up or while Dad spends some quality time with the kids on the weekends/in the evening. And I know of a few who do other WAH business that do use the phone but who manage to do so without childcare. (It's not a necessity).

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 4:00pm

...You don't bathe everyday? Get ready for work? Enjoy a cup of coffee before the kids wake up? I count all that as "my time". I'm not saying I've got a 2hr block to do with as I please- I'm chalking up the 10min here, 15 there that I carve out as I'm able.

Wytchy

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