how do i convince my husband
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how do i convince my husband
| Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:09pm |
how do i convince my husband to let me at least job-share so i can take care of our 3 month old dd? he grew up with his mom working & all his friend's moms working. we can afford it if we cut back on some things, but he doesn't want to cut back & just doesn't understand someone wanting to be a stay at home mom...it doesn't help mycause that the grandmothers will babysit. i'm so unhappy about having to go back to work...he wants me to work full time 1 more year & just doesn't get it! i feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest every time i hink about it.

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The kids and dh/I all snuggle in our bed watching and praying as they scroll through the school names hoping and hoping that ours is there.
PumpkinAngel
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Can you explain then why our twins whom were breast fed exclusively as infants both caught colds
Where was your father in all this?
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"Natural" as in "biologically consistent", you know - one of your favorite phrases. Humans were clearly adapted to undergo major immune development *early* in life. The lack of that stimulation predisposes some individuals to immune problems later on ie leukemia and asthma (and possibly other disorders). So the increased rates minor illnesses that kids in group care experience compared to those at home is not a down-side of daycare. It is, in fact, more "natural" than the semi-seclusion you describe with your lifestyle.
Interestingly, early infections associated with group care (which includes siblings) has been shown to be associated with as much of a decrease in leukiemia as bfing...
What you describe is not natural. But anyway, naturally, the way you are trying to define it, all a baby has is mommy. Where is that baby going to be if mommy doesn't bring home the bacon as well as cook it? Naturally, in your version, there is no daddy.
Realistically, and naturally, the real version, people are social animals who thrive when they live as social groups. Because they can all help each other. Realistically, and naturally, the real version, people of mommy age are also people of the strongest and healthiest age. The need to be doing things that require the skills of heathy strong people. The baby care can largely fall to those who are still too young, or now too old, to work in the fields, hunt animals, build and repair shelters, make clothes, provide leaderhsip and direction, etc. Naturally we are all set up to have the baby cared for by many more hands than mommy alone can provide, that the group may survive. No group, no mommy, no baby.
Really. I call your way - Death of the Species. Is that elaborate enough for you?
Here's one:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=pubmed&dopt=Abstract&list_uids=15536404&query_hl=3
J Allergy Clin Immunol. 2004 Nov;114(5):1023-6. Related Articles, Links
Viral infections and asthma inception.
Lemanske RF.
Departments of Pediatrics and Medicine, Division of Pediatric Allergy, Immunology, and Rheumatology, University of Wisconsin Medical School, 600 Highland Avenue, Madison, WI 53792, USA. rfl@medicine.wisc.edu
Respiratory tract infections caused by viruses have been implicated in the pathogenesis of asthma. Of these respiratory pathogens, viruses have been demonstrated to be associated with asthma epidemiologically in at least 3 ways ( Fig 1 ). First, during infancy, certain viruses have been implicated in the inception of the asthmatic phenotype. Genetic susceptibility, particularly genes coding for atopic phenotypic characteristics, might differentiate, at least in part, those children who are destined to have persistent wheezing, asthma, or both later in childhood. Second, repeated exposure to infectious viruses in daycare centers or in households with multiple older siblings increases the number of respiratory infections, but in doing so, it might paradoxically reduce the long-term risk of allergies and asthma through either pre-existing or newly formed alterations in cytokine response profiles. Third, in patients with established asthma, particularly children, viral upper respiratory tract infections play a significant role in producing acute exacerbations of airway obstruction that might result in frequent outpatient visits or in hospitalizations. This review will highlight available data on respiratory syncytial virus infections and their relationship to asthma inception in childhood.
Mine, too. And what's more, both my parents had a very hands-off philosophy in general. They were not into micro-managing our lives and considered themselves successful parents because we were independent. They raised us to live our own lives and we knew it. OTOH, it was a fair amount of pressure - even in highschool, I knew I was not only expected to go to college, etc but that it was also up to me to get scholarships, find a place to live, manage my own time, resources, etc. On the flip-side, that kind of freedom is also an implicit trust and faith in our abilities which I think gave my sisters and I alot of confidence. My sisters and I all had some great adventures, largely because our parents stepped back and allowed us to. I turned 16 in the Ukraine while on a month-long peace-mission through our church. My older sister marched in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade when she was 17 and traveled the country in a select high-school marching band her Junior and Senior years in high school. Then, when she was 20, she packed up the back of a small pickup truck and drove to California with her new husband. As a parent now, I can only imagine how hard letting go of us must have been - but they not only did it, but they believed in us and we knew it.
I also don't think their ideas and parenting would have changed one iota if my mom had SAH or WOH.
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