how do i convince my husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
how do i convince my husband
1841
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:09pm
how do i convince my husband to let me at least job-share so i can take care of our 3 month old dd? he grew up with his mom working & all his friend's moms working. we can afford it if we cut back on some things, but he doesn't want to cut back & just doesn't understand someone wanting to be a stay at home mom...it doesn't help mycause that the grandmothers will babysit. i'm so unhappy about having to go back to work...he wants me to work full time 1 more year & just doesn't get it! i feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest every time i hink about it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 12:41pm
It sounds like your mother never got over the part of her parenting perspective that just may have had a hand in causing some issues for her now adult children, once upon a time, when they were children. That would be the controlling perspective part. She has adult children with adult children with issues. Its time for her to get over it and accept that whatever she is doing, or may have done decades ago when her now adult children with adult children were children themselves, had most likely zero to do with what is going on now in the lives of those adult children with adult children. In cases like this, its usually a safe bet that this kind of mother as sahm would have been far the worse case than this kind of mother as wohm. What in the world is your mom doing lamenting anything about her life decades ago, at this point, in relation to the current stresses and strifes in the lives of your adult sibblings and their adult children?. If she hasn't heard it, one of your adult sibblings needs to send the 'MOM THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU THIS IS ABOUT US" message loud and clear. Your mom needs to hear it.
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 12:44pm
Gotta love those German cars, huh? LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 12:51pm

What I find troubling is that these women want to go ahead and make Mom believe that yes, if you had SAH we wouldn't have had these problems! At least that is what it sounds like...

I know my Dad once was apologizing to us for some marital issues that he had with my Mom. He was really feeling like this had ruined our lives or something. I hadn't even thought about those issues in years & years. It affected me in the moment but because I was a child I was able to move on a lot easier than apparently he had! Anyway, no parent is perfect. What is the point in saying "What if? What if?" Maybe in cases of abuse or actual neglect. But just for every day ordinary things like WOH or having children witness moments of unhappiness in a marriage...what is the point?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 1:25pm

But Nick,


Here MY mom regrets she focused too much on SAH, failed at providing for us financially, and left us in a MUCH worse position when our dad died, than if she had worked.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 2:06pm
Yes, you are right.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 2:12pm
Once in a while, it does happen.

I just made arrangements to WOH on Tues/Thursdays - at my brother's office.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 2:26pm

<<So I get to go shopping (JC Penneys is the only place with clothes my size WAHHHH)>>


It is not ... try this http://catherines.charmingshoppes.com/storelocator/index.asp

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 2:29pm

"But <> we just don't get as much snow as we used to."

I live in the "great white north" and my poor DS has only ever had one snow day in 5 years of going to school. I'm sure he wishes we had more of them!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 2:37pm

There's a Catherine's right nearby.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 07-26-2005 - 3:13pm

Catherine's used to have a counterpart called Added Dimensions. I loved that store. I haven't shopped at Catherine's itself. Part of what I loved about AD was they had a lot of stuff in 14-16 ... I was right on the cusp of not being able to shop in the normal departments.


I found a great store in Dallas called Ashley Stewart. No locations in San Diego though and no online catalog. Bought two pairs of capris and two 3/4 length fitted s hirts that fit like they were made for me (with the exception of the length on the capris). But I don't think

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

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