how do i convince my husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
how do i convince my husband
1841
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:09pm
how do i convince my husband to let me at least job-share so i can take care of our 3 month old dd? he grew up with his mom working & all his friend's moms working. we can afford it if we cut back on some things, but he doesn't want to cut back & just doesn't understand someone wanting to be a stay at home mom...it doesn't help mycause that the grandmothers will babysit. i'm so unhappy about having to go back to work...he wants me to work full time 1 more year & just doesn't get it! i feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest every time i hink about it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 7:20am

"At dd's elem school, picking up and dropping off is not something most parents/children want to be involved in. It is a total madhouse. (It will be worse this year, as they're doing major construction on our school.) School lets out at 3:40 and there are SUVs lined up 1/2 mile down each way waiting by about 3:10."

Hmm, I simply park in the parking lot, thus avoiding the car line altogether. I'm in and out in 5 minutes tops. Honestly, I have never understood why people choose to sit in that line for 20 to 30+ minutes.

"The buses, however, have a separate bus lane. My kids are much safer getting off/on the daycare bus everyday than they'd ever be if I took them."

We live two miles from my dd's school, so it takes roughly 5-10 minutes to get there. When I pick her up we are home by 3:15 (school gets out at 3:00). However, the bus doesn't arrive in our neighborhood until 4:00 and often even later. Similarly, the bus arrives at 8:15 eventhough school doesn't start until 9:00).

I just don't see the point of spending 90 minutes on the bus everyday. Also, the buses do not have air conditioning. It's completely unnecessary in my opinion, considering it takes me well under half the time to simply take/pick her up myself. Not only that, we get to listen to music, books on cd (my dd's fav. is A Series of Unfortunate Events narrated by Tim Curry), or simply talk about her day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 7:34am
Yes. Vaccines allow the immune system to recognize the enemy (or a reasonably close version of the enemy) so that the appropriate antibodies will already be in place if the time ever comes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 7:37am

"No I didn't, you might want to go back and re-read that. I said dh has the two weeks at Christmas off and has an additional 5 weeks of vacation. The two weeks are holiday for everyone in his office, he also has 12 additional holidays per year and his years allow him 5 weeks of vacation. I never stated that I only get 1 week off per year. I said I normally take a week off at spring break....which is our spring trip, we also usually have a long summer trip and a short fall trip....but my vacation is not limited to 1 week per year. I also have paid holidays, personal days and sick days as does dh."

OK, Let's cut to the chase then, shall we?

Exactly how many paid holidays, personal days and sick days do you have per year?

Exactly how many paid holidays, personal days and sick days does your dh have per year?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 7:41am

1)You were the one who said minor illnesses weren't necessary for the development of children's immune systems. They are and your dd had them. Your argument was NOT that kids don't need daycare for exposure. Your argument was that exposure is not needed period.

2)"I didn't say they weren't minor illnesses." You said they weren't infections. Colds and stomache bugs are infections.

3)"Actually, according to the FDA, breastmilk contains antibodies from a number of illnesses." Actually, breastmilk contains antibodies against ONLY those pathogens a mother has been exposed to. Which is what both I said and what your excerpt says. It's not my fault if you don't know the difference between an antibody and a macrophage.

Edited 7/27/2005 2:48 pm ET ET by susannahk2000

Edited for typos




Edited 7/27/2005 2:48 pm ET ET by susannahk2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 7:43am

"Where does it say centers, child care homes, and sitters are forms of substitute care?"

As far as I know, it doesn't. In fact, I don't think the term "substitute care" is used anywhere in the NICHD study.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 7:50am

"I am a working mom. I am off at Christmas and take time off at mid winter break and spring break. I volunteer at my children's school. I don't drive a mercedes either."

What about summer break, taking/picking up your children to/from school, before and after school child care arrangements, child care arrangments for sick, snow, and other misc. days when school is not in session, etc. ?

"Things are not automatically one way or another just because of working status. Things like ability have a lot to do with differences seen in individual households."

Again, It is simply my contention that the *AVERAGE* dual wohp's can't and don't do many of these things. I didn't use the word *AUTOMATICALLY*, you did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 7:54am

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Gee, like mothers around here wouldn't think of that? Hard to park in the parking lot when every space is FILLED. In and out in 5 minutes only happens in the middle of the day ... NEVER near pickup/dropoff time. This may be unique to our school and it's current space issues .. but it's not ceasing anytime soon.


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Yeah? So? I live 1.2 miles from dd's school and 1.2 miles from her daycare ... which is about .05 miles from her school.


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DO consider yourself lucky. It, literally, would NEVER happen at this school district.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 7:55am

I think we all tend to overdo the "childhood was so difficult" thing, especially in times of trouble. There ought to be a statute of limitations on childhood grievances, unless they're truly horrendous.

Glad your dd is doing better; didn't you put in a whole house air filter or something? They're really great.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 7:57am

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Just to participate cause I'm curious about others' as well (not for the purpose of this debate, but interested nonetheless) ...


Dh gets 55 days per year; I get 50. Dh also has about 48 days stored up.

The JACKAL


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Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 8:02am
"Lowhanging scapegoat" - love it!!!

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