how do i convince my husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
how do i convince my husband
1841
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:09pm
how do i convince my husband to let me at least job-share so i can take care of our 3 month old dd? he grew up with his mom working & all his friend's moms working. we can afford it if we cut back on some things, but he doesn't want to cut back & just doesn't understand someone wanting to be a stay at home mom...it doesn't help mycause that the grandmothers will babysit. i'm so unhappy about having to go back to work...he wants me to work full time 1 more year & just doesn't get it! i feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest every time i hink about it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 1:14pm

"Remember when you said school teachers could always tell the WOHM children from the SAHM children?"

ALWAYS? No, I don't remember saying that lol :) Perhaps you could cite a post where I made such a statement?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 1:17pm

<>

"What kind of research or accumulation of facts done by yourself goes into these statements?"

How many people (male or female) do you know that "encourage or even understand the benefits of exclusive bfing, and more specifically extended bfing and co-sleeping?"

Furthermore, how many people do you know who actually *practice* or *did* these things?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 1:17pm
I'm a clinical microbiologist, a field that requires at least some knowledge of immunology. So if somebody steps into that territory with wrong info, I will get "all up in their grill", as the kids say. Although in momfhk's case, she sometimes posts excerpts of correct info that she cut and pasted from somewhere reliable but then goes on to misunderstand the content of what she cut and pasted.
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 1:19pm
Oh, you are waaaaaaaaaay above average! LOL!
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 1:21pm
Nah! LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 1:22pm

"I posted to momofhk but this is against the rules at our school. Can you imagine having a child walk through the busy parking lot alone to find their parents car during the hectic time?"

It is not the *child's* responsibility to find their parent's car, but rather the *parent's* responsibility to find their child. WHy would you think that children would be allowed to walk through a busy parking lot? Is this allowed at your children's school? It certainly isn't allowed at my dd's.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 1:24pm

"That is strictly against the rules at our school for safety reasons and I tend to agree."

What? Parents aren't allowed to go in and get their children themsleves? How absurd?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 1:26pm

"Why is that important? Afterall, when you cut to the chase as you say...I have said that the time off is covered by myself, dh or the misc day camps they want to attend. Why do you need to know the exact amount of paid holidays, vacation, sick and personal days?"

Because me thinks you are stretching the truth here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 1:27pm

"Why exactly did you SAH for 5 years then?"

Well, most of it was because the government was willing to pay me 55% of my salary to do so. Best of both worlds: money, time home with the kids when they are infants and I'm breast feeding, and a guaranteed job to go back to. The other 2 years I've taken off (which end on Tuesday - yikes!) have been due mostly due to medical problems with my eldest son. Things were really coming to a head at about the time I started to really hate my job so it was the logical thing to do. While we were gettting everything sorted out with him there were lots of trips to the doctor and trips to the school as well as a lot of stress. Not going to a job I hated for 5 days a week really helped keep things calm around here. Now that everything is under control, I'm really looking forward to going back to work.

"So again, I certainly consider spending time in parental care, rather than in substitute care as beneficial/making a difference in the long run."

That's the part we will never agree on.

"I love the fact that I *know* all of my child's classmates, and that they *know* me."

I like that, too but I don't think that it will make a difference in the adults my children will become.

"I think it's safe to say that trips to the zoo, going to the park, going to the library, etc. with a SAHP are more developmentally appropriate for this age group."

But why do those trips have to be with a SAHP? Doesn't a child get a good experience from going to the zoo with a DCP?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 1:38pm

"Gee, like mothers around here wouldn't think of that? Hard to park in the parking lot when every space is FILLED."

Actually, many parents at my dd's school seem to be oblivious of the fact that there are empty parking spaces. It's almost as if they like sitting in that silly car line for some reason :)

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