how do i convince my husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
how do i convince my husband
1841
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:09pm
how do i convince my husband to let me at least job-share so i can take care of our 3 month old dd? he grew up with his mom working & all his friend's moms working. we can afford it if we cut back on some things, but he doesn't want to cut back & just doesn't understand someone wanting to be a stay at home mom...it doesn't help mycause that the grandmothers will babysit. i'm so unhappy about having to go back to work...he wants me to work full time 1 more year & just doesn't get it! i feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest every time i hink about it.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 4:43pm

That's wonderful to hear that your family is doing so well.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 7:29pm
Good for you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2004
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 8:06pm

What about them? First, my children have a father and he is active in their lives as well. Second, I see no need to stay home all summer. My kids are in a great summer program and having a blast. We do take a family vacation in the summer but I see no reason to hang around the house for 10 weeks. That's a bit much.

On what do you base your contention that the "average" dual working couple can't do these things?

Most of the volunteers at my children's school are working parents. Go on Monster.com and look up the average number of weeks vacation for variuos careers. 5 is average for my profession.

You do realize that both mom and dad working 9-6 with a one hour commute is not the norm, right? I start work at 7:00 AM and my husband starts work about 9:30. He has the flexibility to go into work late and volunteer at the school for morning activities and I have the flexibility to leave work early and do afternoon activities. This is the norm wher I work and I work for a large company that employs a lot of parents.




Edited 7/27/2005 8:10 pm ET ET by kbmamm
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 8:38pm

Why on earth would you take issue with grandparents babysitting? My dad and both my brothers often babysit, they would be insulted if I didnt ask them first if we needed a sitter. They also take the kids overnight just for fun, take them on vacations, or come pick them up and take them out to a movie-just because.


Havent you ever heard the saying that *it takes a village*?


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2004
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 9:40pm

They had two bottles a day of breast milk. What difference do you think that made? My girls had nothing but breast milk until the were 6 months old and I continued to nurse until they were 2 1/2. Do I pass?

In short, I did what the doctor ordered. He said breast milk for 6 months and to continue to nurse until they were past two. So I did. I doubt the two bottles a day they had for the 4 months between starting day care and starting solid foods made much difference.




Edited 7/27/2005 9:55 pm ET ET by kbmamm
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2004
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 9:47pm

Note that they did not lump mom, dad and grandma into one pile. That is to say, they didn't walk in operating under the assumption that father and grandmother care was the same as mother care. However, what matters is what they found.

For example, in the day care aggression studies, they found the same levels of aggression/assertiveness in chilren who were cared for by dad and grandma as those who were cared for in day care. The only different situation they found was exclusive maternal care. Conclusion: Having only one caregiver does something to, temporarily, suppress natural aggressive tendencies. They show up as soon as the kids go to school though.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2004
Wed, 07-27-2005 - 9:48pm
Poor baby.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 07-28-2005 - 9:00am

"Are you saying that bottles, formula and breast pumps are a relatively new invention?"

Yes, especially in the context of quiet mom's post, "baby care can largely fall to those who are still too young, or now too old, to work in the fields, hunt animals, build and repair shelters, make clothes, provide leaderhsip and direction, etc."

BTW, here's a link about the history of bottles and formula.

http://www.contemporarypediatrics.com/contpeds/article/articleDetail.jsp?id=111702

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 07-28-2005 - 9:09am

"Are you saying that bottles, formula and breast pumps are a relatively new invention?"

Yes, especially considering, "Breastfeeding mammals have been on earth for at least 100 million years. Those who were recognizably human extend back about 5 million years."

http://www.naturalchild.com/peter_cook/ecc_ch1.html

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 07-28-2005 - 9:19am

My parents care for my boys a few hours every week. They also are "snow birds" and go to FL from Jan. - Mar. When they're gone, my boys miss them so much and they miss my boys. It's really nice to see a 12 year old boy letting his "Granny" hug and kiss him all over. It's nice to hear a 10 year old boy say, "When are Granny and Pop Pop going to come home? I miss them!" And it's nice to hear my dad say, "I'm so glad they're my grandsons. If they were anyone else's I'd be jealous."

Yup, grandparents and grandchildren can have a very special bond and relationship.

Pages