how do i convince my husband
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how do i convince my husband
| Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:09pm |
how do i convince my husband to let me at least job-share so i can take care of our 3 month old dd? he grew up with his mom working & all his friend's moms working. we can afford it if we cut back on some things, but he doesn't want to cut back & just doesn't understand someone wanting to be a stay at home mom...it doesn't help mycause that the grandmothers will babysit. i'm so unhappy about having to go back to work...he wants me to work full time 1 more year & just doesn't get it! i feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest every time i hink about it.

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"Exposing kids to minor illnesses and breastfeeding actually DON'T achieve the same results. Breastfeeding gives passive immunity. Being exposed to the illness gives active immunity."
Thanks for the clarification. Very interesting!
"Although dc is hardly the only way to get it. Minor illnesses are available to breastfed babies of SAHMs too via sibs and other family, the playground, the grocery store etc."
Exactly! You are correct.
"Passive immunity is not a substiute for active immunity. It's a temporary help."
And as you already stated, dc is hardly the only way to get active immunity.
So, all in all, the idea that dc provides some sort of health benefit, in that it exposures kids to increased rates of minor illnesses, is a fairly silly argument imo
Again, What is the benefit of exposing infants and toddlers to an increased number of illnesses via group day care? Clearly, NORMAL (as opposed to increased) rates of minor illness is sufficient. Likewise, clearly exposure to minor illnesses via sibs and other family, the playground, the grocery store etc. is also sufficient.
Again, What exactly is the *BENEFIT* of increasing the number of actual illnesses they contract via group day care? Do young children somehow NEED to contract an *increased* number of *actual* illnesses? Do they somehow NEED to contract an *increased* number of *actual* illnesses via group day care specifically? I don't see any reason why.
My parents and my kids are so close. They missed the first 7 and 3 years of my kids' lives (they visited, but only about 1-2x a year), so they're now making up for lost time. If it's been more than 2 weeks since my dad has seen the kids, he calls and whines "I miss my grandbabies. I'm coming over." and will drive 90 miles to come have dinner.
Ds recently spent 5 days at their house; the night he came home he cried himself to sleep because "I miss gramma and grampa."
The JACKAL
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
"Just saving yourself future embarrasment, as you could not relate that one twin is older than the other. snort"
Could you please explain the importance of twins being designated as older and younger? Yes, of course, I realize it is a biological fact. But other than that, what exactly is the point?
Honestly, I couldn't tell you which of my twin nephews was born first, and I was in the delivery room when they were born. My sister makes no distinction between them when it comes to older vs. younger. Is this simply a personal preference? Is it more common in boy/girl twins?
Just curious as to why you seem so keen on emphasizing the older vs. younger distinction? I mean seriously, does the 3 minute difference between my nephews, make some sort of radical difference between them? Or is it more about the parent's perception when it comes to the older vs. younger distinction?
I bf for a year, and when I wasn't home my girls had EBM. We co-slept forever. I'm most certainly a WOHM.
And btw, our younger dd had ear tubes. Ear infections are a function of the development of a child's eustacion tubes and have little or nothing to do with what or how they eat.
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Well, considering that on this board we're not allowed to give kids' names (**snort**) ...Seriously, many like to keep their children's names secret, for security purposes. So we designate by "older ds", "middle ds", "ds1", "ds2" ... etc ... why should twins be treated any differently? Saying "the older one" is simply a way of identifying WHICH twin she was talking about without giving a name.
The JACKAL
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
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Keen on emphasizing? She mentioned it in ONE post. Hardly emphasizing ...
The JACKAL
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
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So that you know which one she's talking about?
Karen
"A pocketknife is like a melody;sharp in some places,
<<<>>>
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And it would have died there, if Momofhk hadn't belabored the point into the ground.
Karen
"A pocketknife is like a melody;sharp in some places,
flat in others,
and really annoying when it's stuck in your head."
Karen
"A pocketknife is like a melody;sharp in some places,
"There was no commute to work, either."
I disagree. Isn't "walking" a form of "commuting"? How do you think mothers/females got to the fields? How do yout hink fathers/males got to their hunting grounds? Are you suggesting that they lived, worked the fields, and hunted all in the same relatively small area? Hmm, so I suppose wild animals just walked through the center of the "village" saying, "Here I am, you can hunt me now LOL?"
"All mothers were WAHM"
Well, as a SAHM, then I guess technically I'm also a WAHM too? In fact, I'm going to refer to myself as such (SAHM/WAHM) from now on. Thanks for the idea! I can't believe I didn't think of this before LOL :)
"and they lived in extended families, not nuclear families."
Well, based on my (and dh's) eccentric attachment parenting philosophy, we live in more of an extended family, rather than a nuclear family grouping as well. Btw, my sister and dd's grandparents (whom we rely on for ocassional extended family care) all live within a 3 mile radius of us. But of course, this is just our particular, individual situation :)
"Thus mom didn't have to tote baby around all day (although many wore slings or papooses). They could do their work and young niece or old grandma could bring the baby over when it started to fuss for food."
Again, I disagree. Mom DID in fact, tote baby around all day. BTW, here are some excerpts which support my view.
http://www.naturalchild.com/peter_cook/ecc_ch1.html
A carrying species
"Dr N. Blurton Jones studied the question of whether humans evolved as, or are by nature, one of the species of mammals that caches (i.e. hides) the infants in a safe place, returning periodically to feed them, or whether they are one of the carrying species like monkeys and apes, in which the mothers carry their infants wherever they go and feed them frequently.
He compared humans with members of caching species of mammals on the one hand, and with higher primates which are carrying species on the other. He concluded from a number of anatomical, behavioral and physiological comparisons, including the composition of the milk, that humans are indeed pre-adapted to be a carrying species. Such species breast feed their young frequently. He said that "if the implications of my comparative study are correct then the situation in which babies develop has been exceptionally constant throughout our evolution, right back into our earliest hominid phase some twenty-five million years ago and beyond throughout our entire higher primate ancestry of some forty million years". (Blurton Jones 1972)."
Also,
"In spite of a great deal of cultural and geographical diversity, all of the infants drawn from pre-industrial communities shared certain common experiences during the first year:
membership in an extended family system with many caretakers
breastfeeding on demand, day and night
constant tactile stimulation by the body of the adult caretaker who carried the infant on her back or side, and slept with him
participation in all adult activities, with frequent sensorimotor stimulation
lack of set routines for feeding, sleeping and toileting
lack of restrictive clothing in a (semi) tropical climate."
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