how do i convince my husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
how do i convince my husband
1841
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:09pm
how do i convince my husband to let me at least job-share so i can take care of our 3 month old dd? he grew up with his mom working & all his friend's moms working. we can afford it if we cut back on some things, but he doesn't want to cut back & just doesn't understand someone wanting to be a stay at home mom...it doesn't help mycause that the grandmothers will babysit. i'm so unhappy about having to go back to work...he wants me to work full time 1 more year & just doesn't get it! i feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest every time i hink about it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 6:05pm

As if breastmilk is the only source of survival.


Wetnurses, other liquids, other nutritional sources ...


Is it your contention that mammals die if not breastfed directly from the breast?

The JACKAL


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Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 6:06pm
I think rote learning and memorization is important in some areas.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 6:07pm
Babies could nurse from any lactating woman and be raised by anyone. And a good thing too, considering how many women died in childbirth.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 7:07pm

ITA. Rote learning and memorization often gets slagged as not being a good way to learn, but for some things it's the BEST way to learn. Times tables are a fine example. It really would take much too long to mentally add the numbers each time you multiply. And certain spelling rules are best learned by rote memorization because they are not phonetic and therefore can't be understood phonetically.

I also have no beef with worksheets and workbooks (another in the list of "signs of inferior school system"). Neither do many homeschoolers. They are a good tool for those things which rely as much on practice, practice, practice as on understanding.

I think good schooling has elements of many different things. There are workbooks for things that need lots of practice- like math. There is rote memorization of things like times tables so that the child isn't doomed to literally add 6+6+6+6+6+6 every time there is no calculator right there. There is creativity in art and music- but some rote memorization in music as well (learning to read music and practising scales). There is creativity in writing but rote memorization too- or els yoo spel funy. There is creativity in science (the science projects!) but the difference between ion and molecule must simply be memorized- it can't be discovered on one's own no matter how creative the teacher gets.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 7:53pm
I agree. But dd hasn't gotten into that yet. We haven't seen any of that yet.

The JACKAL


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Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 7:58pm
I probably should have replied to momofhk instead of you WRT that... just tagged on the last post on the subject. Sorry.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 8:00pm

'Sokay.


I don't think the things she ranted against are all that bad either ... But instead of debating the validity of them, or the positivity of them (which will end with me banging my head against the wall), I decided to debate them on the point that not all systems are like that.


Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 9:27pm
Gawd. Try explaining that notion to my DS's 1st grade teacher last year. They're not allowed to just know math facts in his school for two more years. It's going to be a looooong year. . . .
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 9:39pm

Historically? Yes. Modern civilization has obviously found ways around that, but our species is biologically intended to be fed at the breast. (Mammals, remember? ;) Wetnurses became an option as an advent of necessity (mother died) and later as convenience/status for the wealthy, but the biological norm is that mammalian offspring be fed at their mothers breast. Historically, if they weren't, they'd starve. Thankfully we've found ways to circumvent that, but one cannot ignore our biological roots as a mammalian species. ;)

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 10:35pm
The link hk posted ASSUMED that 99% of mothers had breastfed. They have no basis, no fact for that. And I think that percentage is crap.

The JACKAL


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Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

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