how do i convince my husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
how do i convince my husband
1841
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:09pm
how do i convince my husband to let me at least job-share so i can take care of our 3 month old dd? he grew up with his mom working & all his friend's moms working. we can afford it if we cut back on some things, but he doesn't want to cut back & just doesn't understand someone wanting to be a stay at home mom...it doesn't help mycause that the grandmothers will babysit. i'm so unhappy about having to go back to work...he wants me to work full time 1 more year & just doesn't get it! i feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest every time i hink about it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 10:14am
Uh-huh. And what is the maternal mortality rate prior to modern medicine? 10% 20%? Babies of dead moms most certainly were not bfed by her....
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 10:18am

...And I wonder what the mortality rate of those infants would have been........ Any sources on that?

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 10:18am
I disagree. Nature intended for infants to be nurished and provided a ready, convenient supply for feeding them. But there is no biological requirement for nursing only by the biological mother or early care by a biological mother. Babies have survived and thrived being bfed by women other than their mothers and on milk from other mammals.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 10:39am

OK, I googled Infant and childbirth mortality in the 18th century and got some links.


Here is one:


http://www.bloodshed.org/lagowiki/index.php/Infant_Mortality_in_the_1800s


And another:


http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=1939293&dopt=Abstract


(this one actually talks about breastfeeding from what I skimmed. I did not really read it)


And here is an article about wet nurses:


http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2005/is_1_33/ai_56027319


I think 99% percent is way too optimistic considering maternal death and the fact upper classes did not breastfeed so they could have children closer together. Certainly, royals were not allowed to breastfeed so they could have more heirs.


"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 10:48am
No, I really don't care when my 16yo teen goes to bed or gets up. It's her life, and she understands how all the dots are connected wrt effort, achievement,consequences, life chances, etc. As long as she keeps her grades up and acts responsibly all around, which are some of the things we do expect from her, I don't sweat the details. Of course, a 13yo or a 14yo is a little different. Even a 16yo who seems shaky about taking on more responsibility for herself might need more parental involvement. But really, how can I let a 16yo drive if she can't take on the challenge of managing her own comings and goings, school schedule, homework, and so on?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 10:56am
Maybe they should talk to the middle school teachers, you know, the ones who have to deal with this garbage later.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 11:07am


The point being- our species was designed to be nourished by the biological mother. That we've found ways around that is human invention. Progress? Sure. A good thing? In many cases. But it's shown that a biological mothers's milk is the ideal nutrition for their own offspring. It's customized to their individual needs. It's also shown that there are risks involved with feeding milk from other mammals. (Differences in nutrition content can cause problems and health risks.)

I wonder how long it took before early humankind discovered that other women could nurse the babies of women who had died? I wonder how much longer than that it took them to discover that the milk of other mammals could be used... Or are you suggesting that humanity has always known and practiced this?

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 11:11am

Do you have anything that doesn't reference *recent* history? I'd consider the 1800's to be pretty recent.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 11:12am

IMO it's one thing to let them do what they need to do in order to take on that responsibility- it's another to state that one doesn't care whether they live up to it or not.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 11:14am
"That we've found ways around that is human invention." And human invention is how our species was designed. We are the least instinct-bound species on the planet and the most able to survive under any circumstances in any enviroment purely BECAUSE we think up ways to do things differently. Figuring out workarounds to the limitations of biology is what we've been doing since we first became human.

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