how do i convince my husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
how do i convince my husband
1841
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:09pm
how do i convince my husband to let me at least job-share so i can take care of our 3 month old dd? he grew up with his mom working & all his friend's moms working. we can afford it if we cut back on some things, but he doesn't want to cut back & just doesn't understand someone wanting to be a stay at home mom...it doesn't help mycause that the grandmothers will babysit. i'm so unhappy about having to go back to work...he wants me to work full time 1 more year & just doesn't get it! i feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest every time i hink about it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 08-04-2005 - 5:48pm

"It is very interesting. I had no idea there were evoluntionary pyschologists. Perhaps you can put that on your homeschooling study list. I think it would greatly benefit you."

So I guess you've nver heard of ethnopediatrics then?

http://www.lalecheleague.org/llleaderweb/LV/LVAprMay99p38.html

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-04-2005 - 5:50pm
Taxes? Millenia, even. I remember reading bible stories as a kid and remarking to my dad how unfair it was that people in Egypt had to give 10% of every crop to the pharoh. My dad rolled his eyes and said "10% income tax? That's nothing!". I suppose whoever it was that kept records on which farmers had turned in 10% of their crop would be the first ever "in taxes".
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-04-2005 - 5:55pm
You can only call yourself a WAHM if you are doing as much work as women of the past had to. Milking cows? Making all your own clothes? and that includes sheering the sheep and spinning the wool into thread and weaving that thread into cloth. Farming? Slaughtering animals? Didn't think so. You do some light!! housework and supervise your dd. I think supervising children is a pretty modern invention itself. They used to be either left to their own devices or put to work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 08-04-2005 - 5:56pm

<>


No, that is what you keeping telling me I am saying.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Thu, 08-04-2005 - 6:02pm
But what they DON'T have to be is at home. And enough businesses provide onsite daycare that it would be easy for a circle of group nursing coworkers to schedule feedings, etc. during the day. Really would NOT take that much change in the actual running of the office beyond breaking through people's biases.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
flat in others,
and really annoying when it's stuck in your head."

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 08-04-2005 - 6:03pm

You do realize how extremely funny this is coming from someone who is not answering questions?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 08-04-2005 - 6:04pm

"I have read that link..yes, point?"

The point is that your contention is false.

Perhaps you missed the part about *modern* daycare/substitute care being, "a group in a enclosed institution which does not include mother, relatives or anyone with a continuing bond or any enduring emotional commitment to that child."

Or perhaps the part which states, "The consequent reduction in the possibilities for personal contact, mother-infant attunement, continuing secure attachments and tender loving care are, in practice, mostly ignored."

"Child care advocates sometimes argue that the infants are being properly returned to group care with multiple carers, as in a tribe. But they ignore the fact that, uniquely in the history of our species, it is a group in a enclosed institution which does not include mother, relatives or anyone with a continuing bond or any enduring emotional commitment to that child. The consequent reduction in the possibilities for personal contact, mother-infant attunement, continuing secure attachments and tender loving care are, in practice, mostly ignored."

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 08-04-2005 - 6:08pm

>>or anyone with a continuing bond or any enduring emotional commitment to that child<<


It may not be mom or a relative, but in most cases the same caregivers are with children for years at a time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 08-04-2005 - 6:11pm

<>


How so?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 08-04-2005 - 6:15pm

"Since the technological advances that took away so much housework only happened in the 20th century, the only scientific evidence needed is a visit to your nearest historical exhibit of pre-20th century life."

Why do you seem to think that housework is the *only* aspect that should be taken into account here?

Is housework truely the *only* work that SAHM/WAHM's do/did?

Again, what about the very *real* work of mothering?

Or are you suggesting that the very *real* work of mothering is simply irrelevent here?

Please elaborate.

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