how do i convince my husband
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how do i convince my husband
| Mon, 07-18-2005 - 4:09pm |
how do i convince my husband to let me at least job-share so i can take care of our 3 month old dd? he grew up with his mom working & all his friend's moms working. we can afford it if we cut back on some things, but he doesn't want to cut back & just doesn't understand someone wanting to be a stay at home mom...it doesn't help mycause that the grandmothers will babysit. i'm so unhappy about having to go back to work...he wants me to work full time 1 more year & just doesn't get it! i feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest every time i hink about it.

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"The reason I only take housework into account is because back then, there just wasn't enough time in the day for what you call the cery *real* work of mothering."
I disagree. Again, from the same link:
"It is safe to assume that, over the millennia, some 99% of all these mothers each successfully breastfed and nurtured her own daughter, who successfully grew up and did the same thing. All their sisters who failed to reach maturity and reproduce dropped out of the picture. It follows that, over millions of years, this pedigree selectively and efficiently bred for success and survival in all the essential aspects of healthy mothering."
Did you notice the part about, "successfully breastfed AND nurtured her own daughter, who successfully grew up and did the same thing."
How about the part about, "*ALL* their sisters who failed to reach maturity and reproduce dropped out of the picture. It follows that, over millions of years, this pedigree selectively and efficiently bred for success and survival in *ALL* the essential aspects of healthy mothering."
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"How so? ....and no, I don't think I missed any parts, as you have posted it quite frequently as a fact or link to any number of your points."
Again, because the *group care* you are referring to, "is a group in a enclosed institution which does not include mother, relatives or anyone with a continuing bond or any enduring emotional commitment to that child."
Why are you playing dumb here?
"However, all of this information comes from the natural child website and you consider the website to be a reliable source how...LOL?"
Care to prove that it is unreliable? I'd certainly consider it more reliable than say...the bible LOL. But of course, that's just me :)
"Sorry, but in my book, that website (and other biased websites such as this) are simply a piece of narrative literature."
Again, Care to prove your contention LOL? BTW, I'd love to get into the "Bible is a piece of narrative literature" debate again! Are you game?
Replies like this make me wonder why anyone continues to try to debate.
Outrageous and self-aggrandizing post, a failure to back it up, followed by a persistent series of replies containing no substance to keep the spotlight firmly in place.
"It may not be mom or a relative, but in most cases the same caregivers are with children for years at a time."
Wrong. Try again :)
BTW, according to the NICHD study:
NICHD Early Child Care Research Network. (1997). Child care in the first year of life. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 43.
"Information on the use, patterning, and stability of nonmaternal child care during the first year of life was examined for 1,281 families in 10 study sites. The vast majority of infants (81%) experienced regular nonmateral child care during the first 12 months, with most starting prior to 4 months of age and enrolled for close to 30 hours per week. Fewer than one in five infants spent the entire first year at home with no supplemental care. Close to half of the infants were cared for by a relative when they first entered care. Infants in child care experienced, on average, more than two nonparental arrangements during the first year. The results reveal high reliance on infant care, very rapid entry into care post-birth, and substantial instability in care."
"You can only call yourself a WAHM if you are doing as much work as women of the past had to."
Prove it.
"How long do you think sahm's such as yourself have been around? You know where it doesn't take an entire day to do laundry or where you have to grow the majority of your own food and hunt for another portion? Or where you had to make your own candles, food, clothes and etc?"
And How long do you think *WOHM's* such as yourself have been around? You know where it doesn't take an entire day to do laundry or where you have to grow the majority of your own food and hunt for another portion? Or where you had to make your own candles, food, clothes and etc?"
"or How long do you think the modern evolution of sahm such as yourself has been around?"
And How long do you think the modern evolution of *WOHM* such as yourself has been around?
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
"The bible isn't a reliable source but Natural Child is ...."
Hmm, Does the Natural Child offer supernatural/mystical explanations and/or information or natural/biological explanations and/or information ?
BTW, Which type are you more inclined to accept: supernatural/mystical explanations and/or information or natural/biological explanations and/or information?
Call me crazy but I opt for natural/biological explanations and/or information myself.
"The blurb you posted said absolutely NOTHING to refute charles' statement. That blurb said that infants often received care from multiple caregivers ... so what? How many caregivers there are says nothing about how long those caregivers were with said children."
So I guess you missed the part where it stated that, "The results reveal high reliance on infant care, very rapid entry into care post-birth, and SUBSTANSTIAL INSTABILITY IN CARE."
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