how do i tell boss i changed my mind...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-1999
how do i tell boss i changed my mind...
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 10:14am

i've never been the stay at home mom type. when i had my first son 4 yrs ago it was a given that i'd go back to work. now i'm in a different situation remarried and just had my second child 6 weeks ago. i'm only halfway through my maternity leave. thru my whole pregnancy i said i would be out 12 weeks and come back. i love my job... i love the clients, my coworkers, my boss is AMAZINGly supportive, and i love what i do.

however, my oldest son misses the cutoff for kindergarten by two days and isn't emotionally ready yet anyway. so he has one more year in daycare. with the cost of putting two kids in daycare, i'll only bring home about $70-80 a week for a full week's work. i'm not working for the insurance benefits, so that's no issue. so i'd really be working for my "sanity" at the value of only $70-80. i don't think that's worth it. we've got so much we are saving up for as a family.

i've done alot of thinking and the most cost effective thing for my family is for me to stay home for a year. i can be with the baby and keep my oldest in daycare. that way we could still save and i won't feel like i'm spending valuable time away from my family for pennies. i don't think i could stay home forever since i love my work and would go stircrazy at home.

since i've totally changed my original plan i don't know how to tell my boss. i'd like to go back to work there since they have been so great to me over the last 2 years. but i know that legally they don't have to hold my job for me and could tell me to pound sand.
and also, his wife is pregnant due any minute.... i don't want to look like a jerk!!

he sent me this email:

"Good afternoon, I hope everyone is doing ok. I was curious if you had a return date in mind.
Eight weeks would be July 5th. Twelve weeks would be August 3rd.
Selfishly, my wife is already 1 cm dialated and we may be having the baby sooner than later.
I wanted to coordinate with our other office regarding them sending someone down to he.

how do i approach this so i can go back there next september when my oldest goes to scool and we only have one daycare to worry about??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 10:54am

First of all, the sooner you tell him, the better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 12:40pm

Can you go part time for a year?

What has changed since you have had your 2nd child to make you feel differently about sah?

His email suggests that you and he never discussed your come back date prior to you going on maternity leave? Why?

How many people are in the office?

Has anyone left for a year leave of absense and returned? Or will you be setting a precedent? Has anyone wanted to do something similar, but were thwarted?

Can your DH sah for the year instead?

Many people I know had one or two years where they were not making much after taxes and daycare, but they knew if they stopped their future earning would be significantly affected. Would you be willing to come back in a year but take a 15% pay cut when you return?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 7:30pm

Can you do your work from home? Think about ways you could make it work for both of you!

I think you need to consider whether or not your boss is willing to think out of the box or not.

Trust me - missing the cutoff is a good thing - I have seen kids on both sides and the social issues are fewer with the older set.


There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day... there's a great big beautiful tom

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2007
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 7:49pm
Why would you still send your son to daycare? Wouldn't you want to spend that time with him while you have the chance to stay home?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 8:44pm
It's probably akin to sending a prekindergartener to preschool.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 9:22pm
Another thing. If you still plan on sending your eldst to the daycare for the year your are sah, then you cannot count the cost of his daycare as a cost of your working- you can only count the baby's cost. So your net take home is more than the $70 per week.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 10:01pm

Well, you just tell them.

Here's the thing, though.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 11:29pm

Wow, you really do want everything your own way. Why would you think they should hold a job opening for you for over 15 months (when all is said and done)?

If you want to SAH a year, there's nothing WRONG with that; but surely you have to admit the company should have the right to hire someone else, since you don't want that job.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2007
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 2:07pm
Just be honest. Your job may not be there a year from now but there are other jobs.