How do you define success as a SAHM?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
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Registered: 11-13-2008
How do you define success as a SAHM?
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Thu, 05-30-2013 - 3:29pm

When you don't earn a paycheck or receive a review from your employer, it's hard to measure if you are being successful as a SAH parent.  A Huffington Post blogger talked about this issue: 

When you are a stay-at-home parent, how do you define success? Is a successful SAHP one whose house is pristine, clean and organized? Is he or she dressed in real clothes every day, reserving yoga pants for actual yoga and flip-flops for the pool deck? Are the children clean but still having fun, well-dressed but not too pretentiously, and fed organic, non-GMO, non-HFCS, homemade meals that they still enjoy and won't lead them to eating disorders? Do their children come home with straight A's on their report cards and sparkle with social prowess? Because if so, that's a pretty tall order for "success," and it is one that very few people can achieve. It excludes anyone with children who fit outside the mold of absolute average for whatever reason, and it assumes that just because a parent stays at home, he or she is solely responsible for the well-being of both the house and the children.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/allison-tate/success-for-the-stay-at-home-parent_b_3349500.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents 

How do you think success should be defined for any parent? 

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Thu, 05-30-2013 - 7:27pm
I don't think success as a SAHM would be any different than success as a WOHP or WAHP. The PARENT part (responsibilities, etc) is the same regardless of working status.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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Registered: 09-01-2002
Fri, 05-31-2013 - 9:23am

I don't know that anyone can be a successful sahm.  Or a successful wohm.   But over the years I've tried to guage if I'm doing well as a mom.  Not earning a paycheck has been factored in.  For instance, I don't think any parent who's just a couch potato, is incessantly online, eating bon bons whenever the kids are home is parenting well.  SAH in the earlier years meant I wanted to get out and about with the kids, rather than spend 24/7 all week at home.  I tried to get out to playdates, parks, children's places very often and that put some pressure on me.  The alternative was to stay indoors which is never best for kids not yet in preschool IMO.  They need to get outside, go to a playground, socialize IMO.

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Registered: 09-01-2002
Fri, 05-31-2013 - 9:29am

savcal2011 wrote:
I don't think success as a SAHM would be any different than success as a WOHP or WAHP. The PARENT part (responsibilities, etc) is the same regardless of working status.

What's a successful wohm?  What if you don't reach your employment potential, use your education to its fullest?  If a mom is going to work 9 to 5 at an office, is she successful if she takes the less demanding, lower paying job than she otherwise could? 

Do co-workers parents judge each other?  Like that f-t employee/mom takes more days off than the average f-t working mom?

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Registered: 09-01-2002
Fri, 05-31-2013 - 9:31am

gauge  Smile

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 05-31-2013 - 12:00pm

thardy2001 wrote:
What's a successful wohm?  What if you don't reach your employment potential, use your education to its fullest?  If a mom is going to work 9 to 5 at an office, is she successful if she takes the less demanding, lower paying job than she otherwise could? </p><p>Do co-workers parents judge each other?  Like that f-t employee/mom takes more days off than the average f-t working mom?</p>

<<What if you don't reach your employment potential, use your education to its fullest?>> That doesn't have to do with being a WOHP. That's about being an employee. The "parent" part is irrelevant.

I don't think being a successful PARENT (working status is irrelevant) has anything to do with employment, time spent at work, education, time off, judging, etc.  It has to do with what the child looks like at the end of 18 years. 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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Registered: 09-01-2002
Fri, 05-31-2013 - 2:09pm

Not working status per se.  But what kind of employee is the parent?  The wohm with a PhD is going to consider herself just as successful as a grocery store cashier for the rest of her life?  There are ways to define success for a wohp.

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 05-31-2013 - 3:24pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p>Not working status per se.  But what kind of employee is the parent?  The wohm with a PhD is going to consider herself just as successful as a grocery store cashier for the rest of her life?  There are ways to define success for a wohp.</p>

I dont' think what kind of employee a person is has much bearing on their parenting and vice versa. 

I don't think there is a definition of success as a WOHP.  There's a definition of professional success - which of course varies from person to person.  And there's definitions of parenting success - which of course varies from person to person.  But a definition of a success as a working parent? Nahhhh.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

Avatar for jamblessedthree
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Registered: 10-23-2001
Sun, 06-02-2013 - 8:55am
We are models for our children. If I've raised grounded, competent and happy children I know I'm doing something right. I also don't think parenting just stops when children reach a certain age, I am their parent for the rest of my life.

 


 


Avatar for jamblessedthree
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Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 06-04-2013 - 2:24pm
  1. For all we know the store cashier could be a better parent than the parent with a PhD....  if you're just basing it off the well being of the kid.......