How do you do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2008
How do you do it?
467
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 11:19am

To all you ladies that drop your infants off at daycare, how do you do it? I have to go back to work in 45 days, and when I look at my sweet little babys face and think of strangers holding her, I just tear up. I thought i'd be able to stay home, but my husband would rather me work, and I don't want to cause tension in our relationship. Why have kids if you can't take care of them? My sil drops her 3 off from 7am to 6 pm. What's the point of having them?


Any helpful advice?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 11:25am

What's the point of a man having a wife if he has to support her financially?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2008
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 11:27am

I really don't see how you compare the two. Aren't grown women capable of caring for themselves while babies are not? Helpful advice though, thanks.

Avatar for 4thekids2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 11:47am

ta birth them babies don'tcha know!


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 11:49am

"Why have kids if you can't take care of them? My sil drops her 3 off from 7am to 6 pm. What's the point of having them?"


Wow I am a little taken aback by that statement.

pregnancy due date

Lilypie 6th to 18th Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 12:01pm

Here is how I did it.

1) I never left my child with strangers in a daycare environment. I researched our choices and narrowed down to two choices and visited each one for several hours. When we had made our choice, I went with my son and stayed in the infants room with him for one entire day. Making observations and seeing the care and routine of the room. As a result, none were strangers.

2)Taking care of a child is more than changing diapers and feeding them and hugging them. It is also making sure he/she has a decent home in which to live. It is making sure that there is enough food on the table and clean clothes to wear. It is making sure that they get social contacts. It is making sure that they have two healthy parents. It is making sure they have access to high quality health care.

3)It sounds like you and your DH have a disagreement that needs to be worked out. Otherwise, there will be tension that is unresolved and may impact your relationship which impacts your child's life.

4)The fact that your SIL drops off her child a 7am and doesn't pick him/her up until 6:00am is actually a fairly rare occurence. *Most* children in othercare do not spend 11 hours each day in othercare. When my sons were at their daycare, there were 16 children in each section. We had a clipboard where the parents signed them in and out. In all the time we were there, there was only one child in each group that was left routinely 5 days a week for more the 9 1/2 hours. The vast majority of children had parents who staggered their work schedules so that one parent dropped off and one parent picked up.

5) If you really want to stay at home with your child. Start by spending only your DH's take home salary and saving yours for at least six months. This will be able to tell you if you can afford to sah and it will give you a nest egg. Figure out what your financial priorities are, do you want to own a home? Do you want to pay for some or all of your child's college, Do you want to retire? Once you know what your financial goals are you can also see if they work with your SAH.

You also have to examine your job/career. Is is something that you can take a sabbatical from and reenter at your current level or would you have to start over? Does your job have any potential flexibility to work a staggered schedule from your DH's? Is there the possibility of part time and is affordable quality part time othercare available?

Edited 3/12/2008 12:04 pm ET by tryingtoquit




Edited 3/12/2008 12:05 pm ET by tryingtoquit
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2008
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 12:39pm
Thank you for your response. I truly appreciate it and you made very good points. I guess my sil is an extreme case. Thank you for taking the time to give me a thoughtful response.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2008
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 12:41pm
Hilarious. If things don't work out for you in your current profession, there's always your comedy act
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 12:49pm

>>What's the point of having them?<<


What's the point of having a child if you'll have to return to work?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2008
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 12:53pm
No, I said in my sil case, what's the point of having them to have someone else care for them ELEVEN hours of the day?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 12:56pm
maybe she sees financial security for her family as more important than spending

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