How do you do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
How do you do it?
1345
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 8:31pm
I hope I don't start a big controversy, but this is a debate board right?

I just have to ask those working moms....How do you do it?????

I am a Step-mom to two boys ages 6 and 9. I have a three year old that has been in minimal nursery school since he was one. He only goes three days a week for a couple of hours.

My step-sons BM (birth mother) just had a baby with her BF and this is her schedule:

She drops my step-sons at school to the morning-care program at 7:15AM (school starts at 8:45AM). She then drives her three month old baby to an in-home sitter that has five or six other kids at 7:45AM and then goes to work. She picks the baby up at 6:00PM and then she picks my SS up from after-care at 6:15PM (their school is over at 3:10PM). So my ss's are at school each day for 11 hours and the three month old baby is at a sitters for 10 hours each day!

Doesn't that seem like a lot! I just don't understand this. I offered to watch my SS's and she let me for two weeks and then got mad at my DH and put them back in the scholl child care program.

Why would you bother having children if someone else is going to raise them for you?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 9:02am
You are living in a dream world if you think ANY city can keep its sidewalks and streets cleared of snow and clean at all times. a couple days after a snow fall? yeah sure, but during? And while plows are busy pushing snow back onto the walkways?

Go right ahead and wear your ridiculous shoes. Enjoy your frostbite. At least once your feet are amputated, you don't have to worry about the stench of gangrene.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 9:17am
Wow is this ever relevant for me now...after an unusually warm fall and early winter, we finally got hit with snow and cold yesterday. I went into the city center for some last minute shopping and even though it had actually been cleared as much as possible and well sanded, it was still slippery as all get out and *cold*. Winter boots were essential.


Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 9:36am
You have a much more active imagination than I, apparently! Let me see, though - Squidward's clarinet is longer than it is wide - surely that's phallic! And Patrick, well, he's pink, soft and wet, guess that's redolent of the female, LOL! Hey, it's been some years now, but I was an English lit major, I've still got it. . . .
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 9:46am
How can I regret the time my kids are being raised by someone else when they're not being raised by someone else?

When I'm 50, I'm going to be glad I have my kids college educations paid for. When I'm 70, I'm going to be glad I'm not a financial burden on my kids. No, I won't regret the time my kids spend in dc. As my grandmother used to say "Time passes anyway". My kids will grow up regardless of what I do. I can't see how I'll have more memories at 50 if I SAH than I have now and even if I did, what good will memories do me when my kids college tuition needs to be paid or I become ill and don't have enough to retire on? Whan I'm 55, I will have both memories and financial security and I will be forever grateful to our dcp for being a wonderful addition to all of our lives. Had I not WOH my kids would have missed out on knowing someone they have come to love dearly. How could I ever regret that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 9:51am
Exactly my point! It is about as intellegent as the post i responded to! Duhhhh
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 9:56am
I first have to admit that I did not read all 400+ responses to the original post. But, I would like to state my two cents. I agree with a few of the posters who picked up on the psychological issues of the original poster. She is most certainly a backstabber who is probably jealous of the working mom. I suspect that the working mom is prettier, more educated, thinner, nicer, or something like that. There is SOMETHING there that is getting under the original posters skin. And I wholeheartedly agree with the decision of the working mom to not place her kids in the care of this woman that obviously hates her. Why would she want to go to work worried that this woman was making negative (probably passive aggressive) suggestions about her to her children? The original poster is not to be trusted. No one has to right to turn your kids against you. Also, I would like to state that the original poster should spend more time on her marriage. This man is once divorced and is at high risk to be twice divorced. The original poster may find herself in a position of needing childcare one day! My last point is that (as many others have pointed out) just because you are a stay at home mom it does not mean that you are a good mother. Being at home with a neurotic, jealous, vindictive mother can certainly be damaging. p.s. To all of you mothers out there who believe that all women who are not wealthy should be sterilized, I feel so sorry for you. It is self centered of you to believe that only people in your position should expereince the joys of parenting. You need a dose of reality. You obviously did not get it from home. I hope you teach your own children about the less fortunate and what it means to work for a living. Time are changing and you cannot live in a glass house forever.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 9:58am


I can't believe the nerve of the parents judging the parents that aren't lucky enough to have the money to stay at home and raise our children. Some of us have to help our partners to acheive what we want in life. Yet you sit at your desks at home with your children and judge the parents that are out making a living and doing the best that they can for their kids. Whats the difference between daycare and school? At least with daycare you get to choose who influences you children and who is installing the same values that you are. Do you think it is easy to drop you children off and go to work? Do you think we enjoy this? Or it's a way out of being the parent. Who ever started this has just a little to much time on there hands, it must be nice..... By the way, just a little bit of advise.The next time you judge us parents, why don't you go out into the work force and see how it is before you sit your prissy little ass down and judge us. We love our children just as much as you do, if not even more for having to leave them and go to work every damn day of the week.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 11:08am

You much have us confused with a different part of the country.


PumpkinAngel



Edited 2/6/2009 10:40 am ET by pumpkinangel


Edited 3/25/2009 12:25 pm ET by pumpkinangel

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 11:59am
I wanted to homeschool, but knew I did not have the resources. Having not completed school myself, I could not have taught them properly. Private school is no different than public school as for the amount of time that you spend with your children. It certainly makes a difference as to what is being taught though and for the safety of your child.

My children have learned about life through both good and bad friendships. The only forbidding I did was when my oldest daughter wanted to date one of the high school's drug dealers.

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 12:22pm
Great post! Welcome, and stick around.

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