How do you do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
How do you do it?
1345
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 8:31pm
I hope I don't start a big controversy, but this is a debate board right?

I just have to ask those working moms....How do you do it?????

I am a Step-mom to two boys ages 6 and 9. I have a three year old that has been in minimal nursery school since he was one. He only goes three days a week for a couple of hours.

My step-sons BM (birth mother) just had a baby with her BF and this is her schedule:

She drops my step-sons at school to the morning-care program at 7:15AM (school starts at 8:45AM). She then drives her three month old baby to an in-home sitter that has five or six other kids at 7:45AM and then goes to work. She picks the baby up at 6:00PM and then she picks my SS up from after-care at 6:15PM (their school is over at 3:10PM). So my ss's are at school each day for 11 hours and the three month old baby is at a sitters for 10 hours each day!

Doesn't that seem like a lot! I just don't understand this. I offered to watch my SS's and she let me for two weeks and then got mad at my DH and put them back in the scholl child care program.

Why would you bother having children if someone else is going to raise them for you?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 9:00am
Ouch. Why such a big deal? Moms are moms. We all have different philosophies about how to raise our children. Just like we all have different shortcomings and strengths as mothers too. The important thing to consider is whether or not our children feel loved, needed, and have appropriate guidance and structure in their lives. There are stay at home moms and working mothers both who do a terrible job at all of these things.

How about asking the question, 'how can you best love your child?' Why do you need to feel validated for staying at home? This is YOUR decision, no one else's. Learn to accept the decisions you have made as well as the decision other's have made. It does not make a woman a bad mom for merely staying at home or working - it is what she gives back to her children. Chill out already. Learn to accept your SS mother's decision and be open to helping her in different ways, while still respecting her role as their biological mother.

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 9:07am
ROFLMAO!!! Oh, that was GOOD!!! Thanks!
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 9:17am

The outline view shifts around to drop older posts from view. If a thread is really long and active, then posts drop out of view fairly quickly. The view will still show to whom you are responding, and when you open the post it will show the message number of the specific post as well.


Many posters don't even use the outline view, so you really don't have to do anything to make it more navigable.


You can post any way that is comfortable for you, but I gotta say I find it annoying to see someone's name at at the beginning of every post; these aren't private conversations and every post is up for grabs, so directing remarks at one poster in particular all the time is a bit off-putting. I think the posters who migrated over from the AOL site were used to putting names in posts because their format was different and they actually had to state what post they were addressing.

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 9:20am
Make sure you copyright that. It's good!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 9:23am
Remember ye MuffinsandToast?

The poster we remember most

For inability to go an hour

Without requiring a shower.

Now, Meghann'sA. becomes the one

Whose posts give sane folk so much fun.

She gave a complex to her daughter -

They won't go out until it's hotter.

She cries "Gestapo!" if you say

That you would live another way.

Why does she post this silly fluff?

I do not know. I've had enough.

(A continuation of post 662, just for you.) :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 9:29am
Thanks - but wait, there's more, post 681. Feel free to add verses. And happy birthday!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 9:52am
What does a judicial system have to do with raising children? Did I miss something here?

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 10:10am
I know...I know...but it is SO funny.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 10:12am
I think before anyone starts a little "debate" over an issue such as this, they should think twice. Being a single mother, I have had no choice but to put my child into daycare since the age of 8 months. Some days are long, some are short. Bottom line is that her care has been consistant since the day she was born. She knows she is loved and that is all that matters. I know a lot of people who stay at home with their kids and to be blunt, they are little brats. They feel that they don't have to listen to any figure of authority except for mommy, they don't play well with other children, and they basically are the masters of their domain. My daughter on the other hand, listens well, shares and plays extremely well with others, and knows her place in society...the place of a child. Why is this? Because she has been prepared by daycare and pre-school, and she understands that she is not the only person in the world. NOW...I am not saying that everyone who stays home with their children has a brat for a child, I am saying however that there is nothing wrong if a child has to be put into daycare, because a lot of opinions, including some experts, would agree that children do better in a structured environment than one not so structured. You can say that you keep a structured environment at home if you want to...but there is no way that a parent at home has every minute of the days activities planned out like a daycare does. I would be will to bet money that children in daycare know more that SAH children. Not because they are not smart, but because they are taught consistantly. The bottom line is this, what is right for some is not right for others. I have worked very hard for all we have, and I am positive that my child respects me for it and will continue to do so. After all, RESPECT is one of the most important things we can teach our children, so respect the fact that everyone does not see things as you do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 10:15am

I know, I know.

PumpkinAngel

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