How do you do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
How do you do it?
1345
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 8:31pm
I hope I don't start a big controversy, but this is a debate board right?

I just have to ask those working moms....How do you do it?????

I am a Step-mom to two boys ages 6 and 9. I have a three year old that has been in minimal nursery school since he was one. He only goes three days a week for a couple of hours.

My step-sons BM (birth mother) just had a baby with her BF and this is her schedule:

She drops my step-sons at school to the morning-care program at 7:15AM (school starts at 8:45AM). She then drives her three month old baby to an in-home sitter that has five or six other kids at 7:45AM and then goes to work. She picks the baby up at 6:00PM and then she picks my SS up from after-care at 6:15PM (their school is over at 3:10PM). So my ss's are at school each day for 11 hours and the three month old baby is at a sitters for 10 hours each day!

Doesn't that seem like a lot! I just don't understand this. I offered to watch my SS's and she let me for two weeks and then got mad at my DH and put them back in the scholl child care program.

Why would you bother having children if someone else is going to raise them for you?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 2:03am
ALL of your posts are ambiguous...I doubt that YOU even understand them...LMAO
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 2:05am
I've always said "spittin distance"....
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 2:07am
Probably the effects of snorting that "snow"
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 2:07am
Just a tad paranoid aren't you dear...LMAO....
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 2:10am
Which part of the west coast are you talking about dear...there is the west coast of Canada, Wasthington state is on the west coast as is Oregon and yes California...then of course there is Mexico....The west coast is kind of a large area.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 2:10am
She already has been...LMAO
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 2:12am
As it turns out the only person she really confused was herself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 2:16am
Who said you were agrivating anyone hon? Talk about making ASSumptions...LMAO...Most of us have been laughing at you...I find it kind of amusing that someone would actually want to pull something this childish...it's something for the teen boards but then they would be over your head as well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 5:30am
<
What I am saying is this you all emphatically say in certain areas of the country you have to wear boots. I am saying this is America if the mom doesn't want her children to wear boots they do not have to. They may not like them they may have their reasons as do I. Bottom line it's not for you or any other person ie step mom there to tell mom there what and what not to put on her children's feet. >>

When I lived in Alaska with DS I would have had a serious fit if my ex had taken ds anywhere without snow boots on. I hate snow boots, but at tempatures ranging from 20-80 below zero it is imperative that a child is dressed appropriately, which means snow boots had to be worn even if it was just to go from the car to the dcp's front door. There are certain parts of the country where it doesn't take an extended amount of time for a person to get frostbite.

But I bet my DH bets wishes the Army had regulations like your daughters school!! I'm sure there were plenty of mornings when he was doing PT in below zero weather that he wished it was inside.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 5:41am
No one raises a child without help. Anyone who has ever mothered a child knows that. To expect a Mother to spend 24/7/365 with a child for 18 years is unrealistic for the mother AND the child.

I am a single divorced Mom. Many of my friends have husbands. We all do what we believe is necessary to provide a lifestyle for our kids. We all have our own environmental standards.

Childcare is a very helpful resource. Whether family or hired, I agree that the provider has a great influence in a child's life, but by no means can that interaction be defined as "raising" the child. Raising is a lifetime committment. Caring for a child a few hours a day, a few days a week doesn't even come close.

Motherhood is balancing act. To do it effectively, the child becomes the center of EVERY life choice. Even as it relates to work and social life.

It's not about spending every waking moment with a child. It's about setting the example of a productive, purposeful life, however one chooses to accomplish that.

The insight usually comes with becoming somebody's Mother.

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