How do you do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2008
How do you do it?
467
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 11:19am

To all you ladies that drop your infants off at daycare, how do you do it? I have to go back to work in 45 days, and when I look at my sweet little babys face and think of strangers holding her, I just tear up. I thought i'd be able to stay home, but my husband would rather me work, and I don't want to cause tension in our relationship. Why have kids if you can't take care of them? My sil drops her 3 off from 7am to 6 pm. What's the point of having them?


Any helpful advice?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 1:21pm

"No, I said in my sil case, what's the point of having them to have someone else care for them ELEVEN hours of the day?"

Life happens, people have less than ideal choices. It's not like you can give them back. It also doesn't mean they are loved less than a parent who is with their child 24/7/365.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 1:23pm
I'm 42. I was 34 when my first was born, and had 9 years, plus higher education, invested in my career at that point.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2008
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 1:28pm
I still have career goals. This is proving to be more difficult than I had imagined though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 1:28pm

It depends.

On the personality of the child, on the personality of each parent.
On the financial repercussions of cutting ones paid hours.
On the alternatives- could be the best option available.
On the financial history and plan of the family.
On the non-financial experiences of *both* parents.
On the career flexibility of *both* parents.
On the type of care and how the child responds to that care...

I see you mention your SIL with no mention of her partner. Does she have a partner with whom to raise her children or is she a single mother (by choice?)?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 1:30pm
That is perfectly normal. Most of us find motherhood more difficult than previously imagined. We also find ourselves eating words/opined thoughts we made prior to motherhood.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2008
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 1:33pm

He works very long hours as well and doesn't mind about the long daycare hours.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2008
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 1:36pm
I had NEVER pictured myself as a sahm type. I was always for working at least part time. I'm sure the situation will work itself out. Damn hormones!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 1:40pm

You might check out a support board if you want advice or post under the not for debate section.


This is a debate board.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 1:41pm

What about the father?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 1:43pm

Well said, I think I'm going to book mark that.


PumpkinAngel

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