How do you do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2008
How do you do it?
467
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 11:19am

To all you ladies that drop your infants off at daycare, how do you do it? I have to go back to work in 45 days, and when I look at my sweet little babys face and think of strangers holding her, I just tear up. I thought i'd be able to stay home, but my husband would rather me work, and I don't want to cause tension in our relationship. Why have kids if you can't take care of them? My sil drops her 3 off from 7am to 6 pm. What's the point of having them?


Any helpful advice?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 10:13pm

I have no idea. The only time any of my kids have gone to bed at 8pm is when they were going to school and not napping. When Dylan was in dc, he didn't go to bed until 9-10pm because that's when he was tired. No point in doing it any earlier. He wouldn't have falled asleep and would've cried himself into a hysterical fit, gag, and vomit.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
In reply to: jadm08
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 10:22pm

So how many hours, in your opinion, should children be in dc? And would that change with the age of the child? My son (in 4th grade) is gone from home about 8 1/2 hours a day between school and afterschool care. When he was in dc, he was there about 7 1/2 hours a day.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
In reply to: jadm08
Thu, 03-13-2008 - 3:16am

Well, i just kind of slow down when I drive through the parking lot where the illegal aliens hang out looking for day work. Toss the kids and a $20 and holler, "I'll be back around 6 or so!" and it's all good.

And they learn Spanish, so it's like having a tutor.

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

"BTW, I hate Lifetime. Their movies will suck you in and all of a sudden you've watched 3 in a row, used every tissue in t

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2007
In reply to: jadm08
Thu, 03-13-2008 - 6:29am

Well, first suggestion would be for you to post on a board that isn't for debate unless you can handle being eaten alive!! Some of your statements come across as being very judgemental of others who use daycare for whatever reason. I know it is hard to leave your new baby and return to work, but judging others while asking for advice isn't a good way to start off a conversation! Just a suggestion!


As for daycare, spend some time looking at all your options and choices. Find a daycare that you trust, and feel comfortable with. Spend time there with your child and see how they interact with your baby and the other kids. Do an unexpected drop in to see how things are going.


Have you considered working a different shift than your husband? I don't know what you do for a living but would that work? Then your baby would be with you or your dh for most of the day. My husband and I worked different shifts for a few years. I was a manager at a grocery store at the time and they jumped at my offer to move to night manager. The hours no one wants!! But it worked for us! Dh worked 6-3 and I worked 4-12.


You said in your post that you don't want to cause tension with your dh about work, but have you really taken the time to sit down with him and talk to him about how you feel and understand why he doesn't want you home? Can you really afford to sah? Is he feeling stressed about being the sole provider for the family? Try living on one paycheck for a few months and save your income. See if it would work on one income for awhile.


Your baby will adjust and be fine with whatever you decide. It will be harder on your than your baby until you get used to the situation. Good luck!

Lori


wife to Tony


mom to 4 great guys!

Lori

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: jadm08
Thu, 03-13-2008 - 7:28am

I wouldn't say most, but a large chunk of the professional work force does. IME, the families that are successfully balanced dual woh families have at least on parent working for the government (Fed, State, County), or a psuedo government entity like Mitre, Blue Cross, or IMF. It works mainly because they have the flexible work schedules. However, if you work in a Law office, or consultant office and many of the start up beltway bandits/ dotcoms- other big employment areas - there isn't anything like a flexible schedule.

Plus, there are certain positions within the Government agencies that do not have flexible schedules and many of the employees work very long hours. I have a friend who is now a sahp because her job at Justice was way to time consuming to be considered family friendly. Another friends, in that same department quit to work at a Law Firm because he was already working the massive hours required of Law Firms and wanted some of the financial rewards too. I have another friend who is single and has no children who works for Navy Planning and she routinely works 60 hour weeks. She has risen rather quickly and in order to be successful in her male dominated career the hours are demanded.




Edited 3/13/2008 7:35 am ET by tryingtoquit
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jadm08
Thu, 03-13-2008 - 8:52am

I have no idea.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: jadm08
Thu, 03-13-2008 - 8:52am
right.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jadm08
Thu, 03-13-2008 - 8:57am

"....I see the decisions about the amount of othercare that will be needed (and the amount that is desirable), the amount of income the household needs, how that will be achieved and who will work for a paycheck and who will work in the home (if indeed either parent stays home or works PT) as FAMILY decisions that are made by both parents together as a unit, ..."


DH and I do indeed work together to achieve family goals, and we absolutely must work as a team.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
In reply to: jadm08
Thu, 03-13-2008 - 9:34am

>>And he and I have never had equal non-work obligations, because I'm an idiot :)<<


haha, you and I both.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
In reply to: jadm08
Thu, 03-13-2008 - 9:37am


well answer your own question what was your point in having children.

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