How do you view "Fatherhood"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2010
How do you view "Fatherhood"
147
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 9:08pm
How involved should men be with their children and how involved ARE men (in reality) involved with their children?
Please indicate if you have children and you are speaking from personal experience. I think it would also be interesting to see how each gender views this topic, so please also indicate if you're male or female.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2008
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 11:03am

I am just a lurker on this board, but wanted to join in on this topic.

ds
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 11:20am

"While the baby may not remember, the siblings will."

Really, I am almost 12 years older than my younger sister and have no memory of either my father or my mother changing her diaper.




Edited 3/31/2010 1:16 pm ET by emptynester2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 11:28am
My sister say she has no memory of me until she was 5. I am her older sister. Kids don't pick up on thing beyond themselves until 5 or so.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 11:45am

While I don't remember my dad ever changing diapers (I was 8 when my brother was born), he was very hands on as we got older. My dad does preschool age and up kids really well. He played with us, took us places (hardware store, lumber yard, etc), made us toys, taught all of us how to saw and hammer a nail, answered all our questions while he was trying to work around the house. He had (still does) great patience with kids.

Dh, on the other hand, is great with babies, toddlers, and teens. Not so great with the elementary school age. But then that's also his personality and why he is so good at his career.

I hate the toddler years. I prefer my kids to either be non-mobile or reasoning beings. The years between 1 and 3 are neither of those things.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2008
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 11:48am
I was speaking about my children personally.
ds
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2008
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 11:52am
I don't entirely agree with that.
ds
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 11:53am

All depends on the sibling and their age. I was 8 when my brother was born and I have no memory of my mom ever being pregnant. But then I was an unaware child. And Joy's kids are so close in age (3 under 4 at the time the 3rd was born; now almost 5, almost 3, and almost 15 months) that I highly doubt that Alex is going to remember all that much when he's older. Although, he can give you a great lecture on breastfeeding now. Moms have "nursies", dads and boys don't, and grandma's "nursies" are retired. Dads, grandpas, and grandmas give bottles.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 11:54am
Fine, now we have two data points.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2008
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 12:10pm

wow...harsh board.

ds
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 12:16pm

"Just simply that I feel it is important that they have an involved father their entire life. That kids learn by example, so seeing their mom AND dad sharing all aspects of child rearing, is good for them. "

I agree with one word change

Just simply that I feel it is important that they have an involved father their entire life. That kids learn by example, so seeing their mom AND dad sharing many aspects of child rearing, is good for them.

Parents can divide up tasks and become the "guru".

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