How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 6:02pm
nah, it is more like the kids wanting mom/dad to either be happy with what they are doing or at least have the decency to keep their complaining, resentment and hatred for their current place in life to themselves. There isn't anything more fun then listening to a parent moan about how their boss sucks, their co-workers are lazy and the pay ain't worth it. Talk about a real downer.

And I don't think I would want to work with someone (wait, I HAVE worked with someone like you described) who moaned at every given chance and trust me....the door to the office gets closed real quick when they start wandering around looking for a ear to bend.

As a side question...are we talking about an occasional...once in awhile complaint or the everyday moaning?

Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 6:05pm
But they're TOTALLY different professions. Why not say, "great!" Why try to make her feel like her dreams aren't good enough for you?
Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 6:09pm
I saw it but still don't understand. Being a nurse and being a doctor are two professions that are so totally different. Why wouldn't you be pleased that your child had discovered her dream? Why tell her it's not good enough?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 6:09pm
I don't think it would be too much to ask her *reasons* for this dream. can you give me an example?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 6:13pm
You make a good point, modern conveniences DO allow us to spend more time with our children. However, I choose to spend the "extra" time with my dd, rather than WOH. BTW, although some people think SAH = focusing on household chores, I myself SAH in order to focus on providing my dd with emotional and intellectual support, not to focus on the house. Like you said, it simply isn't as time consuming as it once was.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 6:15pm
Very good point about physical respnonsibility.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 6:28pm
No, actually she said "minutes", and that's what she meant. BTW, I think the time my dd spends with her friends, is very valuable. This is exactly why she goes to school in the first place, to socialize with her friends LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 6:28pm
WOW!!! you mean she needs 12 HOURS per day of DIRECT "emotional and intellectual support"??? doesn't she ever play on her own? play with her frinds? learn on her own? entertain herself????

do you ever foster a sense of independence in her? leave her side? do something for yourself??

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 6:31pm
As she gets further along in school, i hope you teach her that school's primary purpose is for EDUCATION - and that too much socialization will get her in trouble.

I'm so glad that mine know this already.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 6:34pm
Hmmm, the difference seems pretty obvious to me LOL! BTW, I also preferred to have MY dd in MY den, playing with HER own toys.

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