How does this relate to the debate?
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| Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm |
Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.
I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...
There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.
There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.
Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new
Hollie

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I never said that "nursing isn't good enough." It's just that I would like to know *why.*
I think as a parent, I should ask questions about all things including career choices. I hope that we have such a relationship that she wouldn't get defensive at my asking such questions but rather have a conversation with me about why she made such a choice.
Besides, second careers are getting common. I'm following behind 3 other engineers who left/are leaving to teach. Two of them are men. Retiring to teaching is not a cop out. It's called giving back what you have been given.
How do you get that an engineer retiring to teach the last decade of her working life is a traditional female thing to do????
Edited 8/25/2003 7:26:40 PM ET by cyndiluwho
If my dd came to me and said, "mom, I want to SAH" then i would say "have you thought about PT WOH?" That shouldn't come across as my devaluing her choice but rather my asking what her thoughts are -- such questions may lead to conversations or concerns she may have that I may be a part of or even help her in figuring out
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