How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 7:28pm
Yes I did and you might want go back and READ that post.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 7:30pm
LOL, I don't believe you. Spending that much time interacting with one person would not be healthy, lol. Kids do need time to play by themselves and play with other children without adult intervention. As adults, we are not wired to be either giving or receiving constant interaction, we'd burn out.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 7:32pm
IMO, it would be both impossible and unhealthy to spend that much time interacting with a child. The biggest part of being a child is figuring things out on your own. Adult intervention isn't needed on a continual basis. It would be handicapping to a child.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 7:39pm
Hmmm... I seem to have trouble today finishing my thoughts before clicking "post."

I was going to say that it's not that I think the profession of a doctor is above all. If my dd came to me and said that she wants to be a neurosurgeon I would ask her why not something else. I am not crazy about it as my dd's job.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 7:40pm
Ahhh that horrible brain o mine. (son of a b!tch ex husband... i know i know)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 7:43pm
Teaching has traditionally been a women's field throughout the history of time. Statistically speaking the vast majority of teacher have been and are women.

By opting out of the engineering field (a male dominated field) you are essentially doing the same thing that you accuse SAHM's w/ careers before children of doing. You are opting out of a field that needs more woman. You are no longer keeping the door open for those other woman not to mention all but ensuring their salaries plummet. The feild needs more women and you are leaving.

Your argument is when a women (no matter how much she offered in her career pre-children) opts out of the work force to SAH, she does all women in the work force a diservice (i.e. not holding the door open like you have)regardless if they plan to consult or come back.

Well, if you are opting out the engineering field to take a teaching job (a traditional women's job) then you are doing a diservice at that point and time to all future women engineers. You are closing the door on them and abandoning them.

I am just following your line of reasoning.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 7:47pm
Wow I never realized how lucky I am. (Maybe the BITO will be different) My ds puts himself to bed. Usually he goes and gets his pillow and blanket and cuddles up on the couch next to me and dh at 8:30 or somewhere around there and goes to sleep. Lately he hasnt even been doing that, he's been kissing us goodnight and climbing in his own bed himself. He wakes up at 6:30am on the dot every morning.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 8:00pm
Not strange at all. Just different then what I do. What I see is you and your dh trying to "balance" the amount of time you have with your kids. We just don't do that. To us, spending time with the girls is very important....but we also live by the motto that says "there is no such thing as equal" in our marriage or family. We just figure that it all works out in the end.

I am at home all day long, naturally I get more time in with them. He is working all day, naturally he gets less time in with them. We just don't worry about it like other families might.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 8:05pm
Because maybe they don't want to sign away 9 years of their life to do it. Maybe they only want to sign away 3 or 4 years of their life. Or maybe they don't want to be the paper pushers of the military; maybe they actually want to DO something.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 8:10pm
Except rank isn't an objective measurement; there's a huge degree of subjectiveness to it. It's also a matter of timing and need. If you have many officers in the Engineer Corps, the ability to move up in rank is far less than those officers in a different category (such as Infanty, Intelligence or Armored Cav). There are thousands of officer who retire every single year at the rank of colonel or lower, who didn't make general because there were no slots in their specialty, not because they wouldn't have been good generals.

maybe you should stick to voicing opinions on subjects you know something about; it's clear your ignorance of how the military actually works hinders your ability to render an intelligent opinion on it and the suitability of it as a career officer, let alone as an enlisted person.

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