How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 8:12pm
And in what alternate universe would ALL women stay home? If 75% of mothers WOH, that is hardly even likely. Especially since there will always be a plethora of women who have no children at all. (The average woman has kids after 30 these days)
Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 8:13pm
Rank . . . titles . . . education . . . networth . . .

How many Fortune 500 CEOs have committed wrong? I'm thinking WorldCom, Tyco, Enron. There are many more, I know.

How many stories have we read about officers and officer bound men sexually abusing and raping fellow women and cadets? Does Tailhook ring a bell?

Personally, I believe it is more important to teach my son values and morals. To teach him to respect his fellow person and himself. To teach him right from wrong. If, in the process, he decides he wants to an artist, a musician, an economist or even a truck driver, my DH and I will to see to it he gets the best preparation we can afford.

But until then, I will do my best to raise a fine young man who values people for who they are, not what they are.

outside_the_box_mom

Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 8:16pm
I think discussing her goals is good. If it were phrased as an interest in how she arrived there, her specific goal, how she planned to make it happen...

What *I* don't understand is why you'd take it a step further and suggest an entirely different career.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 8:20pm
It fits into the discussion here because you just called a garbage man a "sanitation engineer".

<>

But you're allowed to call that same person an engineer.

Hollie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 8:25pm
How can you be so sure? Do you know where she lives?

I don't think this comment (the one you say is wrong) is very meaningful but I concede it is her observation of her experience in her community. Whether or not it translates elsewhere (or anywhere) is another matter.

Or were you talking about her previous statements from other posts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 8:38pm
Actually second careers are the norm, as are third and fourth careers. All your talk about women leaving the workforce to be with children damaging the path for all womankind makes no sense to me. People these days (male and female) switch careers all the time. I think I read that the average American worker has six career changes in the course of a lifetime. I don't get why you think it is all that outrageous and damaging for Sally Administrator leaving her job to stay home with kids when it is just as likely that she would leave her job to become a sales rep.
Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 8:43pm
I get you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 8:46pm
If your aspiration was to manage a shoe store and you BECAME manager...then you DID get somewhere in life. You made your dream reality.

Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 8:47pm
I interact - literally - with my three all day during the summer. During the school year, whoever's at home. But then, there's three of them so I'm not solely interacting with one of them all day. Everyone seems pretty healthy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 8:53pm
Why is it insulting to doctors to for a person to say that they have a management career? Which is totally different then a medical career.

Would you find it insulting for a police officer to say he has a career in law inforcement?

Career is not defined by number of years one went to college. There are MANY different types of careers. Resort, insurance, lawyer, medical, management, criminal....


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