How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 5:58am
I chose to do what I do because I love it. I love kids, I love the constant activity, AND I don't really want to grow up. I get to play every day and get paid for it! LOL

I don't care my job is "lofty" or "exhalted"..I am happy doing what I'm doing and it pays the bills. In my book, that's all that matters.

Sue

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 6:27am
And there goeth my coffee!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 6:55am
Oh my. This reference to SUV's makes me hope I'm not the one who inadvertantly launched the Silverunity War. Waaaaaaaaay back in the 800's, I made comment in my post about not working for an SUV. Here's the source of it:

A few years ago the Washington Post did an article on the "Mommy Wars" and one of my former colleagues who had quit to be a SAHM was interviewed. She made some comments that really frosted my weenie. She said that women who work are selfish and put their big houses and SUV's ahead of their kids' well-being. She went on and on about her "sacrifices" and how hard it was to be a SAHM because she had to do all the "scut work." That made me snort because I know that her fabulous career was nowhere as glamorous as she made it sound (she was a lousy lawyer and couldn't write for spit) and while many women do make sacrifices to SAH, Miss Thing wasn't one of them. We still have skid marks where she peeled rubber getting out of here her last day.

Anyway, the dispute seems to have devolved beyond any discussion of the SUV-driving-yuppie- mom stereotype into something else altogether. Ladies, peace. Please.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 7:18am
Once again may I offer my congratulations, and then a big "so what?"

You're a trip, where have you been hiding?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 7:20am
I know .. bad me. But its so fuuuuuunnnn. And I'm home with a sick kid so im BORED.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 7:21am
First of all Iam not the 13 yr old poster you speak of Iam a mother and wife. Secondly Iam not a troll. i have been round ivillage for years.

If you cant prove your personal opinions id suggest you dont post them of course you are pretending to ignore me so you cant support your opinion.

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 7:21am
Yep! Know it well!

As to you using exhalted first, I have to admit that I read P&Js post not yours, which is why I addressed her, not you. My bad. Then your subsequent answer, then mine, seemed to be at cross purposes, when really, we were saying the same thing. :-)

At any rate, the word popped out at me and yes, "exhalted" to me means exactly as you have used it in both ways.

BTW, have you read the book, "The Dante Club"? If not, DO! It is excellent! Or shall I say "exhalted"? Bwhahahahahahha (It's set in 1865 Boston and centers around Longfellow doing the first American translation of Dante.)

outside_the_box_mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 7:23am
Because you seem to hold it up as some sort of banner for good mothering. If someone were to ask you what your greatest accomplishment was, I have a feeling it might have something to do with length of nursing, letting your kids manipulate you (oh, you call that not letting them CIO and not stidking to a schedule, same thing), etc.

What IS your greatest accomplishment?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 7:25am
My dd never had a bottle either .. and I only BF for 9 months ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 7:42am
--I'm done, yeah right...lol


--You're lucky that i didn't see what you wrote about me above -- Must be pretty proud of yourself, huh????

Another one of those threats of yours huh does that make you proud?


Im the one who is done, if you would have not misrepresented the fact that i believe WOM are not responsible for their child care when they are working they are paying for the responsibilty than this hair splitting would have never took place. Please ignore me and if you cant i suggest you stop mirepresenting my opinions.

I will give you the benefit of the doubt you have not called me a troll.




Edited 8/28/2003 11:19:45 AM ET by silverunity

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