How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 1:00pm
Personally, and this is JMHO, I think a child should be weaned by the time they are eating table food and drinking from a cup. Most children are bottle broke by 1-1 1/2 yrs old (at least they should be), why is the breast so much different?? If breastmilk is so great for kids, pump it and give it to them in a cup.

OTOH, I guess if a woman wants her 3 yr old child sucking at her breast, that's her perogative..I'm looking at the 3 and 4 yr olds here right now and thinking how far past breastfeeding all of them are. I just can't imagine.

Sue



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 1:18pm
I edited my post when I realized SU is somewhat disturbed. However, when a completely separate poster is the one who actually typed out the stereotypes, and SU said she thought them valid (whether she meant it or not) I would probably direct the stereotypes r us comment on the person who actually said them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 1:20pm
that does not prove that validating someone opinions is agreeing with them. That is the point.

SHEESH!


Edited 8/28/2003 1:23:24 PM ET by silverunity

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 1:35pm
Oh good respectable debate...I hope you can understand me and i dont intend it to be difficult for you to read.

No, it is not bad for a WOP to work for material gain, some do I know that to be fact. That is the choice of the parent.

No, anyone's material gains, needs or want's, does not represent your parenting abilities.

Material item's are not a negative thing for any parent working or not. I have expressed this on quite a few occassion but im sure with all the mud slinging you may have missed it...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 1:47pm
I think it's impossible and probably not advisable to talk in such generalities.

Lots of SAH's *do* have to stay at home - because of their beliefs or their culture or the number of kids makes daycare an impossibility as the cost would exceed the amount of their paycheck.

A lot has changed for women since the 60's and think the women's movement has done a lot of good in terms of giving women choices. But in reality, lots and lots of poor and minority mothers and mothers in certain religions simply *don't* have a choice when it comes to this issue.

Probably saying what's been said before here, but I couldn't resist giving my 2 cents,

Molly


Edited 8/28/2003 1:59:55 PM ET by golly_miss_molly

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 1:48pm
This is so off-topic for this board I'm not sure we should be going on with it here, but what the hey.... the American Academy of Pediatrics now recommends that breastfeeding continue for two years and as long after as is mutually agreeable to the breastfeeding couple. I personally wouldn't bother pumping and giving breastmilk to the kid in a cup when it's so much easier to deliver it the way God/nature intended -- I think our culture has perverted the meaning of the breast as a sexual object to the extent that I understand why some people have "hangups" about the breast as a comfort/nutrition/immune system booster object for young children.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 1:49pm
You like to live way out of town. That was your choice and not necessitated by financial circumstances.

I think it's a shame that my brother cannot have the freedom to pick where he lives, but must base it on COL. I could live in a hick town too - I could live in the heart of DC. Neither of us have our locales dictated by the fact that we couldn't afford to live closer in.

Here, people who have lower paying jobs or one parent AH live an hour out of DC - even if they like it, they CAN"T AFFORD to move closer in. Charlesmama likes her smaller town - even if money weren't a factor, I think she said she'd live where she does. But she also posted that they couldn't buy a house on 75K in the city, but could afford one on 30K where they live now. If I personally were in that situation, I wouldn't want the main/ only reason to move to the smaller town the fact that my household income weren't high enough to afford a house in the larger city.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 1:52pm
But as lois pointed out, you can have a successful, brief career and still not be happy.

It's nice if your job gives you personal fulfillment and happiness, but I'll take those from other than my paying job. I like my job, I like my co-workers, I think I'm doing something productive, I like the intellectual challenge, but it doesn't make me "happy."

I never would have found a job if I waited until I found something that made me "happy."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 1:53pm
Hey, I don't care if they have the Lexus and the big house.

But I don't want to use my hard earned money to pay for their health insurance premiums when they're 35. I know there's a middle ground, but the main point of having a job is to make enough to survive financially. Anything else is gravy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Thu, 08-28-2003 - 1:54pm
you edited your post to portray your "disturbed" personal opinon you have with me.

Now if it makes you feel any better...ill allow it! LOL

Care to expound on your knowledge of what you think of me persoannly and prove it with fact?

Oh, I know you cant...but ill give you a gold star for trying anyway. ;-)


Edited 8/28/2003 4:06:59 PM ET by silverunity

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