How does this relate to the debate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How does this relate to the debate?
2771
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:56pm
Hey I rhymed! lol

Something occurred to me earlier and I wanted to see how others thought it might relate to the whole "which is harder SAH/WOH" portion of the debate that crops up so often.

I think that, when you look at either group *as a whole*, the WOHs might have it harder. And this is why ...

There are virtually no SAHMs who SAH because they "have to". There are virtually no SAHMs who are forced to SAH. A woman that SAH wants to SAH.(I'm sure there's a few exceptions out there; controlling dhs who MAKE their wives SAH, disabled children, etc) A woman that SAH doesn't hate her "job", or else she'd go get a WOH job. A woman that SAH is generally getting what she wants.

There are LOTS AND LOTS of WOHMs who WOH because they "have to". A single mom, or one whose dh doesn't make enough to support the family, or one with a disabled dh, whatever the case may be ... she may long, with all her heart, to SAH, but *can't*. Many WOHMs hate their jobs, but can't quit.

Anyhoo ... just wanted to stir up something new

Hollie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 10:19am
You and me both. I'm surprised how many intelligent posters have been sucked into this discussion. I've never used that "ignore" button, but I'm considering it now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 10:50am
I'm not suggesting that anyone REFUSE to give a baby breastmilk out of a cup or bottle. I would suggest that almost all 10 month old children who wean are doing so prematurely and have probably learned to prefer the bottle/cup over time or are on a nursing strike that is interpreted as a desire to wean. If I had a 10 month old who was showing signs of a nursing strike I would try to lure the child back to the breast because I do think it's in the best interest of a child to nurse for well over a year, and I would prefer to do it the most convenient way. If it were a choic between feeding EBM or formula, I'd do the EBM.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 10:54am
When I wrote the sentence in question, I was responding to a poster who suggested that an older toddler ought not to have access to the breast but should be fed EBM from a cup. That would assume that the breast was working just fine, right? I still don't see any logic in refusing to deliver milk via the breast when you can just because the child has reached some random age.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 10:58am
So how come you didn't express similar outrage at the poster who labled breastfeeding after three as "just plain gross"? Is it only a posting low when you disagree with it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:16am
I'll answer the question.

The OP placed an actual time line on the "gross" part, she didn't claim bf was "gross" in of itself.. Momofhnk (?) stated a very direct comment about those who choose to not even attempt to bf.

Big difference in my book. Stating above an age limit as gross is not understanding the concept. However, making such a blanket statement as she had done is like saying "my way is better then yours and you failed for not even attempting my way."

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:18am
I think both represent "not understanding the concept," personally.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:28am
Don't you WOH? How did you avoid using a bottle or cup in that case?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:32am
OMG I'm older than you? Crazy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:34am
OH for Gawd's sake, retire this damn post. Now I'm remembering why I left the boards for a few months. These out of control threads with 5000 posts that it's impossible to follow in this format are at the top of the list every time I log on. I'm sure there's some great debates going on in there somewhere........... but finding them, even in outline format, sucks. So for the sake of those of us with crunched time schedules, close it out, ladies, start fresh..... Puuuulllleeeeaassse!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 08-29-2003 - 11:34am
Both my kids had some EBM; I am NOT against EBM. I was lucky in that I went back to work part time when my older child was 8 mons old, he probably had three bottles a week for about two months and then decided he could wait until I was available; the younger one was only five months old when I went back to work part time and he had one bottle a day for about four months before he too decided he'd rather get it from me. They were eating cereal and fruits and some veggies at the time they started into daycare.

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